It can be a tough adjustment to adapt to life with a disability. When it's gone, we all appear to take our wellbeing for granted. It's all too easy, then, to obsess over what we have lost. But while you can't go back in time to a better one or wish your disabilities away, you can change the way you think about your disability and deal with it. You are really in charge of your destiny, and your freedom, sense of empowerment, and perspective can be strengthened in several respects. It's entirely possible to conquer the difficulties you face and live a complete and satisfying life, no matter your disability.
They expect most of us to live long, safe lives. So, it can cause a variety of disturbing feelings and fears when you're struck by a debilitating illness or injury. You may wonder how you can function, find or sustain a relationship, or even be happy again. But while it isn't easy to live with a disability, it doesn't have to be a tragedy. And you're not by yourself. Before you, millions of people walked this journey (the CDC reports that 1 in 5 Americans is disabled) and discovered ways not only to live, but to succeed. Also, you can.
Learn to get your disability recognized
Accepting your condition can be extremely difficult. Acceptance can feel like giving in to life and your future. Throwing in the towel. Yet refusing to acknowledge your weaknesses' reality leaves you trapped. This keeps you from going forward, making the modifications you need to make, and pursuing new goals.
Give yourself time for grief
You first need to grieve before you are able to recognize your disability. You have suffered a huge loss. Not just the loss of your limitless, safe body, but probably the loss of at least some of your future plans.
Don't want to dismiss your emotions or suppress them. It's only human to try to stop pain, but you can't work through sorrow without allowing yourself to experience it and consciously cope with it, just as you won't get over an accident by avoiding it. Enable yourself, without judgment, to completely experience your feelings.
From frustration and sorrow to denial, you're likely to go through a roller coaster of feelings. This is completely natural. And the experience is chaotic and full of ups and downs, much like a roller coaster. Only trust that the lows will become less frequent with time and you'll start finding your new normal.
You don't have a happy face to put on. It's not easy to learn to live with a disability. Getting bad days doesn't mean that you're not strong or courageous. And pretending that you're all right when you're not helps nobody, least of all your family and friends. Let the people you trust know how it really makes you feel. That's going to support both them and you.