All of us are insecure at times, and that is normal. Everybody feels insecure about something. However, when you are with someone who is chronically insecure or sometimes acts avoidant, your relationship can become rocky. In most cases, you can trace the roots of such behavior to how they were raised.
You can identify insecure partners by the way they make big deals out of nothing. Furthermore, once they get upset, they don’t know how to calm themselves down. They need constant reassurance from you. They may also be very jealous or possessive.
These things are all more symbolic of the way they were raised than they are related to what you are doing.
However, as the partner, there are things you can do to help calm it down or make it better. I will list below five simple things that you can do on a daily basis to make the situation better.
It is not that these people can’t love or that they can’t make great partners. It is only that it takes a lot of work to get them secure in a relationship. Once they are secure, it is important that you maintain that security by always following through and being trustworthy.
1. Reassure Connection
The first thing is to reassure the connection. Throughout the day, send them a text or a message of some kind. Let them know you are thinking about them. You can maybe put a note in their lunch if they take a lunch bag or a briefcase or a purse.
2. Do Not Leave Them Waiting For A Response
If they text you about something that they want to know within the day, give them a response. A fast response will make them feel that you see them as important and you also care about them. Take a few moments during your lunch hour or break to text them back.
3. Be Consistent
If you tell them that you are going to do something, follow through. When you get inconsistent, you create anxiety for your partner. You make them flash back to how they were raised. For example, if they did not have consistency from their parents, they will project it onto the current relationship.
4. Do Not Judge Or Ridicule Their Feelings
Do not tell them that what they are feeling is stupid or silly. Being harsh on their feelings will make the insecurity worse. They have a right to their feelings. Part of being a healthy partner is being respectful of how they feel, even though you may not agree with it.
5. Do Not Try To Fix What Their Parents Did Not Fix
Do not try to fix what their parents did not fix. You will never be able to do that. What you can only do is to behave in ways that will not make them feel anxious or make them feel that they do not deserve the relationship.
Conclusion
All these factors are common and prevalent in the dating world as well as marriages. It is therefore important that you know what you are dealing with, so you can make changes and then create a healthy, awesome relationship you love.
