Okay class dismissed! After hearing those words, my classmates shouted thank you sir, bye sir. While packing my notebooks my friends shouted and said "Tara tusok tusok" meaning lets buy street foods, and I nodded as a reply. We always treat ourselves always may it be after exams, lessons or activity. We always leave the stress and pressure inside the classroom to somehow lessen the burden.
My friend handed the lady and said 10 pesos of fishball and 2 pieces of chiken eggs "kwek-kwek", and then we bought ours too.
I'm so happy that we don't have homeworks, projects and exams this week, we can enjoy our weekends, my friend said.
And we smiled genuinely as a response. We talk and talk until Bye guys, take care! I said. And then they shouted Bye vince!
I swallow my last piece of kikiam and then open the gate. I grab my keys in my pocket to open my room. As I enter, I immediately hang my bag and lay in my bed and then check my social medias. I didn't notice the time and its already 7 pm in the evening. I then changed my clothes and go out to buy dinner. On my way to the "karenderya", someone tapped my shoulder and said hey! I recognized that its my friend and where are you going? I said. I'm going to buy food for dinner and you? she replied. Same, I replied. After buying our dinner we parted ways. I open my room's door and noticed that my roommate was already there, and "Let's eat", I said. Already done, she replied. I open my food and eat slowly. After eating, I wash my plates and lay on my bed and quickly grab my laptop and open it to watch lucifer series. One more episode and I'll sleep. After 5 episodes, I feel so sleepy and then turned my laptop off and sleep.
That was 9 months ago.
Ting! Ting! Ting! I woke up because of the sound coming from my phone, I quickly grab my phone and open my messenger.
"We have short quiz"
"Link in the google meet"
"Ma'am is already there"
After reading, I immediately sat down in my bed and grab my laptop and open it. Ughh, "please wait, windows is getting ready 33%.
I then chat my friend, "Did the quiz start already?", " fuck my laptop is restarting".
"Not yet, let wait everyone, ma'am told", she replied.
And then I heard that electric fan stopped. Fuck! Brownout. I chatted my friend hurriedly and said " Fuck brownout" sent. Omg, she replied. I immediately check if I still have load balance and then I still have 50, I registered it to GO SURF 50. And I received a confirmation that I am registered to the promo. I immediately click the google link and join the ongoing class. Our professor, send the quiz in the google classroom and put a 30 mins time to answer the 30 items quiz.
We both googled everything since she doesn't even taught all the topics covered by the quiz. My friend chatted me, Lets go submit. Sure, I replied. But I cant send my quiz because of slow signal, after how many mins I still cant, my hands were sweating, I feel pressured and mouthed please send. Then, done late was all I can see. I feel angry whyyyy!!! I then chat my friend saying " My quiz wa handed late". It's fine maybe ma'am would understand. I felt so heavy that my quiz was handed late.
The next morning, I received 7 emails, and all of it are activities due after tomorrow.
I felt so heavy and pressured as I open the activities and don't know how to accomplish it since they never taught us how.
I felt so stressed because I don't know how to accomplish it neither of my friends. I felt so pressured that it is due the day after tomorrow. I felt so weak that I didn't have time to enjoy my weekends because of activities given in our online class. My mental health is at stake. I am slowly giving up because after accomplishing 3 activities, 4 will come next. I felt so tired and I can't even take it anymore.
"Kill yourself so that your professors will notice and your classmates will never suffer accomplishing so many activities", "Hang yourself", " Maybe if I end my life, I'll be happy", "I just want to die", these were my words in my mind before things get blurry.
Note: Online class really affects the mental health of every students, so please make it simplier as it is and teach us how to accomplish things. I wrote this story for everyone to know that studying in this pandemic is really difficult, you don't own your time and you have no one but only yourself and plus the burden of family problems. If school is not home and home is not for school. Please show mercy to the students especially those struggling just to comply. Another student commit suicidw because of the pressure she experienced in the online class.