"Mum, I think I am in love", Jane in her sixteen told her mom while they were cooking one evening. Jane's mum, so curious and shocked brought out two chairs and both of them sat down in the kitchen on a round table now facing each other. She signaled to her daughter to sit as she sat down too. "What did you just say now?".
Jane, now fidgeting and scared of what her mom would say next tried to repeat what she said as her mouth was shaking. Her mom saw her reaction and calmed her down to repeat what she said. I said, I am in love (Jane looking down).
The mom smiled and seeing her mom's look, she smiled too and gained her confidence back. Who are you in love with my daughter? She immediately replied and said Ken. Who is Ken? She then explained that Ken is her classmates. "Mom, Ken is so handsome and very brilliant in my class. All the girls admires him including me but I want him to myself alone. I want him to know I love him and would want to marry him. Mom, I think I am having a strong feeling for him". She said all these to her mom while the mom was paying attention to what her daughter was telling her.
Okay Jane, go to my bedroom and get me a dictionary. Now curious about this and was like "Why a dictionary with what I am telling you?" She stood and went to bring the dictionary. Now, search for the word "Love" and tell me the meaning.
Jane opened and searched for the meaning of Love. Here is it mom! Now, read it aloud. She started "Love is a strong affection towards someone".
Okay, the mom said. Now look for the word "Infatuation" and read out its meaning. She slowly read the meaning of infatuation;
"This is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something".
Then the mother started;
Jane, just have you have read both words and known their meanings, there is a difference between both of them. Infatuation is when you see someone for the first time and you are attracted to their beauty or physique. You only love the person because of some physical characteristics he or she has. The other person may not know you have feelings for him or her but after a while, the feelings varnish especially when you see someone else who is more handsome or beautiful than the person you have feelings for. Whereas love, is when you are deeply in love and have a strong feeling for the person, not because of his beauty or physical characteristics but you love the person for who he is. When you love someone, you won't mind how they are or what they have. Love is when you know the strength and weakness of the person but you choose to stay with them forever.
Jane, you only think you love Ken because he is handsome, brilliant and has a good voice. I am not saying you should not fall in love but I want you to do something for me, give it time probably when you finish your senior secondary school and then if you still have the same feelings for Ken, then it's called true love and if you do not have feelings for him again, it's called Infatuation.
Jane was so happy to have confided in her mother and know the difference between Love and Infatuation. She thanked her mother and both went back to cooking.
There are mothers like Jane's mum who are always ready to attend to their children especially the girl daughter. Do you have a girl? Do you have a daughter? How well do you both communicate with each other? Do you have that intimacy that your girl is always comfortable coming to you for answers to any question in her mind?
There are some young girls out there who thinks they are in love with someone whereas it is only infatuation. They do not know the difference and when the parents especially the mother is also ignorant, it makes the matter worse. Parents need to be knowledgeable in this aspect and teach their children what love is so they don't get deceived by guys who pretend to love them but are only after their virginity. Love should be taught to the children especially the girl so that when they have feelings for someone, it is easier to differentiate if it is real or just temporary (Infatuation).
I am always determined to make my children understand these words including sex education so they can understand them and purify their bodies till when they are mature enough to get married.
As mothers, do not push your daughter away when she is disturbed in her mind. If you do this, they will meet friends who at the end, will make them do what they shouldn't do. What if Jane's mom angrily beat or punish her daughter for such question at first? What do you think would happen? Jane could possibly engage in secret relationship with someone else even if Ken wasn't available. You need to hear your daughters and reply them of all questions they ask you. With this, they can rely on you and relate with you anytime they want because they believe you will always talk to them and advice them.
Do not be a nagging mother to your children. Make them know what they don't know so they can learn to improve on themselves. Open up to them and explain in details every question they bring to you.
Thanks for reading
|June 22, 2021|
Parents have a great role to play in the romantic life if their wards. Sexuality education should be taught from the home. A mother or father shouldn't assume the child is too young to know certain things,it will amaze you to know they already knew what you think they don't know.