Every individual is different even you are related to each other or you have the same parents we are made differently by God. From skin color, footprints, foot sizes, fingerprints, hair strands, hair colors, eye colors, body shapes, face shapes, and everything.
Comparing other people to yourself or they compare other people to another person is not a healthy attitude because comparing is one of the reasons why insecurity and being not contented feelings begin.
Let me share with you my personal experience.
But before I'll start. I would like to flex my sponsors. You can freely check and read their articles, they are so talented and informative writers/authors.
I lived with an extended family. I currently reside with my second parents because they need our help in our piggery and our business is located in front of my second parent's house.
Since then, I was being compared with my cousin who is an achiever and I am not. It is a big deal for me when I was a kid but later on, I am used to it. I just live the best way that I know, I just want to have fun and enjoy my learning.
They just don't know my viewpoint, they didn't want to know my viewpoint. I just don't want to compete with my smart classmates because I don't want to stress myself, competing with them is not my interest at all. Because learning is fun, you just need to listen, absurd the lesson and apply the lesson. I don't need to be an honor student to prove that I learn the lesson.
But this comparing attitude does not vanish over time but instead, it was updated and upgraded.
I have my firstborn when she had her 3 years old baby girl, my firstborn is the first grandchild they have. My child is just 2.5 kg or 5.5 lbs it is a normal weight of a newborn baby, after a week of staying at the hospital we got home and we didn't expect them to be at our house because we arrived late at night already. I feel hurt by what she commented on my firstborn when she saw it.
Oh! Why he is so ugly and small? He looks like a dwarf, what is his weight? When I give birth to my baby girl she is so chubby and she weighs 3.7 kg already.
I answered her in my mind that, whatever the child's weight the important thing is he is a healthy baby, and excuse me, he is not ugly like your daughter. The tone of insecurity is there because you know that the attention of everyone will turn into my son and not on your daughter.
I almost verbally said it but I choose to close my mouth to avoid trouble.
My son is the center of the eye of his grandparents, they always play with him and buy things for him. They are the ones who initiate to celebrate monthly until the month of his 1st birthday.
This person with insecurity becomes more insecure when my husband becomes closer to my dad because my husband is the second closest person to my dad, the first person is the husband of my other aunt. My dad loves my husband because of his attitude and his willingness to work into the household chores without any commands. But the husband of this insecure girl who was in the process of being trusted by my dad, my dad never trusted this guy with a full heart because he didn't like him. My dad didn't like the way he act, his attitude, his background everything about him but he needs to show respect because respect is very important to bond a relationship especially in a family.
When I give birth to my second child, she also has her only boy among her 3 children. She always compared my baby girl to her baby boy, especially in their body type. My baby is not fat as her child that's the thing she always complains about. She also wants me to use vitamins for my baby girl for her to become fat as her kid, but I am not into using vitamins because I am a pure breastfeeding mom, no vitamins can equal a mom's breast milk.
Until now, she always compared us to each other. I am used to it but if it comes to my children it is a big no.
You can compare me to others but don't compare my children to yours. Because everyone is unique and no one can be you.
Comparing is the root of insecurity and evilness. Be happy for others' life, and you will be granted happiness and peace.
“You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.” – Henry David Thoreau
Thank you for reading!!