So... what’s your opinion about friends? Do you think that we all have 100% REAL persons beside us, or not? Do you have lots of friends, few, many good or BEST ones? Are you 100% sure they are what you think they are?
I had a phone call yesterday from a "friend" I have for about 20 years now. It's been many years that I've realized she's not a person I would share my secrets - I've done it twice, and she told to other persons as well. I said, fine, I'll have her only as a simple friend, not a good friend if I can't share my problems and secrets. Then I realized she did some things that annoyed me, I also said that's fine, occasionally I'll go with her for a cup of coffee, some shopping etc. and it won't matter. Afterwards it happened something that made me furious and sad at the same time - I won't say more because it was too personal, and yesterday she managed firing my emotions I had buried deep inside me and awake them. I felt so angry! Not for her, but for me...
Why have I allowed her to treat me the way she did? Why haven't I stopped hanging around with her since I know that most of the times, I am talking with her, then I feel depressed, anxious, and/or angry? Why did I let her back then treat me like that? The problem is with me, not with her... You see, when you hear after all these years how she treated to another person with almost the same problem you had, and NEEDED her help not only without having it, but also make you have obstacles, you feel stupid again, you feel empty again, you feel like she's deceiving you...AGAIN!
I'm putting down all these years, trying to see the positive and negatives about her, and sadly most of them are negative... Covered jealousy, gossip, not there for me when I need her, secretive, a person who always trying to find everything for your life and say nothing for hers, she only does what she wants and don't care for others (even her husband) and many more. Now, you might be questioning, if she's so "bad" for me and (maybe) my health, why am I still related with her? The answer is simple: Because I've grown up enough, I cannot stand weird behaviors from people anymore, and when I remember how some people used me, I get mad - first at me because I allowed them to do it, and afterwards with them. Even now I feel sad about it, and I question myself if I must stop even talking with her, you see 20 years is a long way to stop talking to someone you know. From the other hand, Covid is a reason we haven't see each other for many months now, maybe more than a year, and we only talk through phone. Maybe this was also helpful for me to see clearer who my real friends are, and screen those I don't deserve to have near me.
What's your opinion with people who think as friends and you just realize they are more toxic that you think they are, and they harm you - when you realize it, you think there is a problem with you, but no... You know exactly what happened, if he/she was a REAL friend he/she SHOULD, OWE to treat you in a completely different way! Would you stop even talk to someone you knew so many years? What would you do if you were at my position?
*The pictures are not mine:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/eddiedangerous/2252008877 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)
https://www.maxpixel.net/Skull-Clipart-Danger-Take-Care-Vector-Sign-2324940
https://www.flickr.com/photos/91261194@N06/50549469083 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)
