Life Can Sometimes Make Me Crabby

"I am not trying to be crabby."

These are words I am finding myself saying more often to my wife these days. And I'm really not.

Trying to be crabby, that is.

But life can sometimes make me crabby despite my best effort for it to not be that way.

Even after a week long vacation that my wife and I took to Cape San Blas, Florida, which was beautiful and relaxing, you'd think that it would have had the effect of fully recharging my batteries.

But it didn't. I'm still crabby.

I think it comes down to the fact that sometimes life can just be very demanding of our time. And of course, it is supposed to be that way. My life is really no different than the lives of others. We just all have things that we have to do.

You get up, you go to work, you come home and make dinner, and you go to bed. Spin and repeat five days a week. During the week because work consumes so much of the day, there really isn't much to do that you want to do. You are basically just going through the motions and doing what is necessary.

Monday through Friday, fun is effectively cancelled.

So, then you get to the weekend. Ah. Freedom. Or is it? Relaxation. Or is it? Fun on the horizon. Or is it?

All the things you could not get done during the week now become things that you have to spend your time getting done during the weekend. Not that some of these things aren't completely enjoyable, mind you. But it still becomes a bit more like the routine of the week with the weekend things just being different things you have to do than you had to do during the week.

It's usually getting the grass cut and other yardwork done. It's getting the grocery shopping done and running other errands to replenish certain household items. It's getting laundry done, or cleaning up the house, or tidying up the garage.

And of course, when it comes to the wife and I, our priorities are different. What we like to do is different. And sometimes this causes a little bit of head butting.

I like to write. I like to spend a little time tooling around social media platforms like this one and noise. I like to play my guitar and record music. Sometimes I like to create my own music.

And sometimes I just want to be lazy. It's as simple as that. Sometimes I just want to do whatever I want to do, because so often I feel like my weekdays are filled with doing things that someone else wants me to do.

I get crabby because sometimes I feel like like me time is never something I will be able to have. And I get crabby because sometimes I feel like if I try to have some me time, doing things that I want to do, I am only going to get scolded for it.

And then there is the thought that I have had for quite some time now that there has to be more to life than just going about the day doing things everyone else wants me to do. I feel the same thing for my wife.

I don't want her to have to spend all of her time, her me time, doing things that she feels has to be done rather than doing things that I know she would rather be doing.

Retirement is both an option and a non-option for us. We can technically afford to retire. But there is a huge caveat in making that decision, and that caveat is the cost of private health insurance.

It would simply eat up money faster than is practical, siphoning off the one thing that retirement is supposed to be able to afford one.

Fun time and me time.

In other words, we would just be back to square one without having to go to work. We'd have to cut out all the things that we'd want to do in retirement that we could not do before due to the constraints of work.

So I get crabby. I get crabby because I still can't do necessarily what I want to do. And I get crabby because I have not found a workable solution around that reality.

Will I ever? Of course I will. I am confident in that. But in the meantime, I may still be a little bit crabby.

Lead image courtesy of Pixabay, user jayers. Crab Crabby Angry - Free image on Pixabay