" The neighbor's grass is greener "

Of course we are no stranger to those words. The word that expresses other people's things is much better, more perfect and more beautiful than ours. In fact, nothing is exaggerating, because God is always fair in distributing His favors. maybe someone who looks more everything than us, the burden and responsibility is also bigger.

Remember, God is just who distributes the sustenance according to the container size. So, never compare our situation with others, because of course it will not be the same. Better yet, compare our past selves to today's. Is it becoming a better person, or vice versa?

A little opening about the view that the grass is much greener on the other side which is often understood that everything else belongs to much more beautiful. Just as I feel, sometimes seeing other people who have risen from adversity is also often accompanied by envy. Why am I like this and there is no significant change?

All of that makes the heart and mind always argue. About what I have chosen first, is it the right choice or not. Namely, about the choice of a way of life, between work or college. I am afraid that choosing to go to college is the wrong way. Because after seeing my peers who decided to work, they were able to make their parents happy. Meanwhile, I still burden my parents, because I am still in the process of studying (college).

However, I try to take the positive side of it all. I think that there is no wrong way as long as we know the goal to be achieved. Being a student is not wrong, I should be grateful because there are still many people who want to study but are hampered by costs. By exploring the world of lectures as well, I can be better prepared to become a professional in the future. And of course the preparation of knowledge for my children in the future.

However, turning from my recovered internal chaos, it turns out that external toxics are coming from my environment. Especially gossip from neighbors, who always compare me to their children who are already successful. There is always a sneer that says, in the local language:

"Wis gedhi tapi isih nyadong karo wong tuo. Kerjane sekolah terus, ngetokke ragat. Kae lho si A wis kerja, bisa tuku mobil"

Which means:

"Already big but still asking for money from parents. His school work continues, spending a lot of money. You know that A is already working, he can buy a car"

Until I'm sick of hearing all that. Yes, that's the fate of being a student in my village. Moreover, there are not many children in my village who continue their studies, maybe it can only be counted on the fingers. Of course the neighbor's talk was a mental burden for me. Especially during this pandemic, online lectures have made me listen to gossip from neighbors more often, even every day.

It's as if everything I do is always a topic of conversation. Not being able to help cook at a neighbor's house is also a topic of conversation. But yes, how is my situation when I am studying online. It's impossible if I play with my lecturer by stealing his lectures, of course I have to focus.

What I was surprised about, even though I also did not ask anyone else to pay for college and meet my needs. Then, why do they take issue with my poor condition and choose to go to college? Is it wrong? Even though I also received a scholarship from the government. I had a great opportunity to attend college for free, and even got pocket money every semester.

Of course this is very helpful for me and also for my parents. Yes, although I also have to look for additional pocket money as accommodation costs, such as having to go out of town to take care of the organization. Therefore, I do a part-time job, namely by joining an online business as a marketer for a product. Those are some things that people in my environment may not know. Because they only see from the looks only.

Even so, I am also aware that the choice to go to college or not is not a determinant of success. Many undergraduate graduates who actually become unemployed, on the contrary, high school graduates who can become entrepreneurs. But it all comes back to our mindset. If we believe that we are determined to continue the process, believe that there will be no results that betray the effort.

You are who you believe in. When you believe that you can definitely do it, then the angels will confirm it and make it come true

Regarding the neighbors' talk, I consider it all to decorate my days. As a test of the many pleasures that God has given me. And also, as a means to increase patience in the heart.

If you feel the same way I do, you don't have to hate. You don't have to hold grudges. Keep doing good to them, because they say only according to what they see from the outside. So it's only natural that they don't know the real facts.

Don't worry too much about hurtful talk, it's better to focus on yourself. Because there are more important things to think about. Just prove it in silence, and make yourself a better human being.