@Plint 6 November 2021

If It Ain't Dutch...

So as some of you may know I live in the Netherlands, country of tulips, clogs, windmills, weed and I think I have ran out of stereotypes to describe my country now.

You might get the impression now that I live in perfect tulip land, but I am afraid that there are some things to improve on my small little country. So here I give you, three things to improve on my country. And finally I shall treat you to an artist impression of my ultimate Netherlands! 1. Let's go to altitude So you may not know this, but the Netherlands gives a new idea of the word flat. My country is flatter than a pancake. It is so flat, that most of it lies beneath sea level. The biggest 'hill' lies right on the border and I'm not sure it really merits the name hill. For a mountain lover like me this can be a bit difficult... I now have to get into a car to drive 12 hours to be in the Alps, but in my perfect Netherlands I would be able to see the snowy peaks when I open my windows! That way I could do climbing, one of my hobbies a stone throw away from my home.

2. Let the sun shine! One of the things I love about the Netherlands is the fact that we cycle everywhere. It keeps you healthy and it is better for the planet. A little downside is that the Netherlands is pretty rainy so I often look like a drowned cat dressed in a raincoat when I get to work.

I do enjoy the benefits of rain though, I enjoy water sports, and like a green country to live in. So in my ideal Netherlands it shall rain at night and be sunny during the day! 3. A Final Touch Now that I have improved the climate and the view out of my window, there is a final tough before I am truly pleased. Now you see I love my fellow Dutchies, weird, tall creatures they may be. But after having lived in different countries I have realized that we are pretty bad at small talk. You see, we Dutch are champions of efficiency. We can send two word emails, can call our families for 5 minutes a month to get them up to date, we can do 20 minute meetings at work! But we are horrible at chit-chatting. When I lived in the United Kingdom I was always amazed at all these people in shops who just kept talking to me. At first I was irritated: so inefficient all this chatting! But the longer I was in the UK the more I grew to love it, and now I miss it. So I will bring this to my Netherlands as well! The Ideal Country So here I present to you: The Netherlands Revamped!

Hope you enjoyed and remember: If it ain't Dutch... It ain't much!