A Shitty Tumble

Somebody recently asked me what my most embarrassing childhood memory was and I did not have to think long about that one. Here it is:

A Vacation in France

It was summer, I must have been around 7 and we were having our vacation in France as we did every summer. My father decided to we would go to a themepark whose theme was pre-history (and you wonder why I became a history teacher?) But it was quite a drive, so we left early to get to Prehisto Parc. Where they show how early humans must have lived.

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While we were in the car I at some point had to pee, which usually made my father grumpy as he noted I should have gone before we left and this was all taking way to much time (funnily enough my partner now has the same reaction whenever I have to pee during a trip). So my dad decided that instead of taking an exit and making a stop, he would just stop on the side of the highway and I would have to pee there. I objected, because I wanted some privacy. Luckily I spotted that there was a little dike by the side of the road, so my genius idea was to climb over it and pee on the other side, so the people on the road could not see me.

A Shitty Tumble

So I walked on the little hill, saw that it was perfect cover and walked a bit down on the other side to squat down for my pee. Unfortunately I forgot that I was on a hill and that I have terrible balance. So it didn't take long for me to start tumbling down the hill... I came to a full stop with a loud splash and a nauseating smell. It seemed I had landed right into a pile of pig shit, the pigs seemed to have great fun at my expense.

I started crying and made my way up the hill back to my parents. Who when they saw me first said what did you do? Followed by: oh god that stinks. My father refused to have me in that car like that and my mother by this time could not stop laughing....

The Real Tragedy

It was quickly decided that I should undress completely and leave my clothes. This however, was a tragedy. You see I had just used all my savings to buy a Spice Girls shirt and I was so in love with it I don't think I ever washed it...

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I would not stop crying, but my father had no mercy and did not want pig shit in his car (which as an adult now, I do kind of understand. It was also decided that we had driven too far just to turn back and not go to the Neanderthal park. So we drove to a local swimming pool where I was put under a shower while my mother, in her best French, pretended like we left my clothes there the last time and got me a free outfit. I do have to commend my mother here!

And so it ended up that we went to Prehisto Parc, with me in a scruffy dress, too grumpy to even recall anything of the day. As you may understand, we have no pictures of that day, but we do still have the story.

What is your most embarrassing childhood memory?