Imagine the following situation, which may not be that hard to imagine, because it may have already happened to you. You've got a new relationship and your best friend has tried everything to break you up.
Situations like this tend to happen among younger people. Unfortunately, it happened to me when I was about twenty years old. The authenticity of the friendship becomes questionable.
We may wonder why this is happening. What is the reason? Jealousy, envy, or simply fear, that we will spend less time with them, see them less, talk to them less?
We have to find the balance between our partner and our friends, which I know is not easy when you are in love. The reverse can also be true, when our partner thinks we are neglecting them because of our friends. In this article I want to focus on the topic of friendship.
My Opinion About Friendship
The concept of friendship is a very difficult one in today's society because, unfortunately, people have been taken over by selfishness and egoism. I think a friend is a friend if they don't talk behind our backs, don't mean us harm, don't stab us in the back and what very important is, that they aren't jealous.
Jealousy
Why am I highlighting jealousy so much. Jealousy is not only about material things, but if somebody see, that we are happy, then they can be jealous. This type of jealousy is most likely to occur, when that particular person is unhappy, has nothing going for them in life and we are responsible for everything bad that happens to them. They take no form of responsibility for their own life.
With a true friend, we feel comfortable anywhere, anytime and in any situation. We don't have to tell each other anything about what we did last night. We don't question each other's whereabouts. I have a friend from school. We have been friends for about 30 years now. Sometimes we don't talk for months and we don't know what's going on with the other one, yet when we do talk, it seems like we only talked yesterday.
Always Stay As You Are
It is very important for me not to have to pretend in front of him. I shouldn't have to show myself as more or less, than I actually am to make him feel comfortable. I don't like superficiality. When we say, that we are very good friends, but if I scratch the surface a little, it turns out that there is nothing underneath to call our relationship a friendship.
Accessibility
I think accessibility is important. When I call him to talk or to arrange a time to meet, it shouldn't be that I'm not available. I know our lives are very busy these days and we don't always have time, which is fine, but if he's never available and always has an excuse to talk or meet me, then there's something wrong for sure.
A subordinate and a dominate relationship does not fit into a friendship. I should not be in a subordinate position, because he never has time for me when I call.
Respect Each Other's Opinions
Respecting each other's opinions is another important thing in a friendship. It has never been and never will be the case, that we always agree on everything and have the same opinion.
If someone wants to harm my friend, God forbid, or take advantage of him in some way, and I express my opinion on the situation, I state the facts and do not make accusations.
I expect the same things in a relationship too. I think there is only one difference between friendships and relationships and that is, that in a friendship there is no sexual relationship.
Friendship Between Man And Woman
We have come to an exciting and controversial topic. People are very divided on this. Some people believe in it, but some people keep saying it doesn't exist. I have heard several opinions, that say it is not possible, because one party always wants more, than the other.
I personally believe, that there can be friendship between a man and a woman. I have personal experience of this, which I would like to share with you now.
I have a female friend. We don't see each other as much lately because our paths have taken us elsewhere, but we keep in touch. It happened once, that she was planning a trip home to visit her parents. Before she went home, she called me on the phone and asked me if I would go with her.
She had been to my house before, so she thought it was her turn and would be happy to host me. I accepted the invitation. For several reasons. On the one hand, she is a good friend and I feel comfortable with her and on the other hand, she lives in a place I wanted to visit anyway, because I was curious about Transylvania.
She was travelling home for ten days to visit her parents, but she informed me that since I would not have a separate room to sleep in, I would have to sleep not only in the same room, but in the same bed with her.
I should note here, that we were both single at the time. I said yes anyway without any ulterior motives or intentions.
We arrived and it was only at that moment, that I really felt the weight of the fact, that we were going to sleep in the same bed, when the time came. Until then, I hadn't even thought about it.
After a few days she had an interesting question for me, which went like this.
"You know why we don't make love? Because friends don't make love."
I knew then, that we thought alike on this subject.
Do you have a true friend, who would be with you not only in good times, but in trouble too? Do you believe in friendship between man and woman?
It is so interesting that I was also thinking of friendship as a theme for my next article. But I am about to tell my experiences about it. I feel that I have found good friends, but I have always felt left out. I haven't found that one best friend yet, and I don't think I will, in the near future.
I found my real best friend in Jesus. I know, for sure, He won't betray me, He will listen to my pain without judgement, and He knows very well how to comfort me.
We may not have the same beliefs about this, but I chose to share it since I am talking about friendship.
I also think that friendship between opposite sex is also okay, as long as there is no ulterior motive, as it ruins the pureness.