Secrets Of Solid Self-Esteem

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Avatar for Peter-Molnar
3 years ago

Self-esteem has always been important to people and today should be no exception. Unfortunately, if we look around in the society, we see that many people, especially young people, are depressed. This affects not only their health, but also their relationships and many other things in their lives.

If someone suffers from a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, they know the various expressions and phrases, that will not help them out of this heavy burden. For example, they may hear the following at home in the family, in a relationship or at work. Such as: "you are not good enough" if you get this thrown at you, you can work hard to become good. The more you persevere, the more challenges you face, the harder tasks you'll be given, because you want to prove yourself. By doing so, you'll end up with more burdens on your shoulders and you'll sink lower and lower.

Once you're down deep in the hole, stop digging, otherwise you'll dig yourself even deeper. By that I mean finding the balance with people you feel you want to meet their expectations. If you are always striving to conform you will be subordinate to others, which can haunt you throughout your life. The trap is that while you're trying to please others, you're ignoring your intrinsic values.

Every human being is a value on earth and if we hide that value within ourselves, we will only satisfy others, never ourselves. Unconditionally love, respect and appreciate yourself for the value that you are.

Image Source: Unsplash via Annie Spratt

Why Is Solid Self-Esteem Important?

Apart from the fact, that people with self-esteem are happy, successful, satisfied and balanced in all areas of life - work, family, relationships - there is another important thing to mention.

Whatever people say to us, somewhere deep down we feel, that we are valuable. We have our own innate inner value, that no one and nothing can take away from us. We want to dig down deep and find that value, like a gem, like a precious stone lurking there.

Why Is It That If We Have This Value, So Many People Have Their Self-Esteem In Tatters?

There are many reasons for this, but perhaps the most overwhelming reason is that society has a profit-driven, profit-centred view of objects, lifestyles, job opportunities and unfortunately, often of ourselves and each other. This means that we look at a product or a service, for example, and see what its market value is.

Let me bring up an example here.

We want to buy a machine let's say a washing machine. What we are looking at in the first place. We want that machine to be able to do as many things as possible at the cheapest price as possible. We cannot get that, in fact the more it can do, the more expensive it is. So we can see here, that the more profit we can get from something, the higher its market value. This is fine as long as we are talking about machines and commodities. The problem starts, when we look for it in others and in ourselves.

Human being has no market value, a price tag cannot be put on us, human being is not an object or a machine to be profited from. Human is a sentient being, who has value in themselves. Life itself and human being have an innate value, that is priceless. Life cannot be priced and bought.

Gain Stronger Self-Esteem

Self-esteem always comes from within. The question is where we position ourselves in this world. Where I live, where I work, what role I recognise for myself. Where do I position myself in the system. Let me share some tips to gain stronger self-esteem.

Image Source: Unsplash via Alysha Rosly
  • Every day think about or ask yourself a question, why you are grateful to something or why you are grateful to yourself. If you like, write down your answers, so you can read them whenever you need them. You will realize, that how many little happy moments you had in your life, that you could be grateful for.

  • Don't belittle or put yourself down. Don't say how ugly I am, how I look, I can't do anything. At most, if you agree, that you need to improve on something, then say, yes, I admit I need to improve on that, but don't say you're incapable of anything.

  • Find the one thing, that is most important to you, that motivates you, that moves you forward in life, that overwhelms all your negative experiences and fills you with positive energy. If you find what you are good at and succeed at it, it will have a big impact on your self-esteem and you will realize, that you can even do creative things.

  • Everyone can have as much fun as they want or feel good the way they want. Don't be influenced by fashion. You don't have to follow the latest fashion trends if you don't feel like it. If you don't like make-up don't put make-up on, just because everyone else is putting make-up on. Be yourself and live the way you want.

  • This tip is not for everybody, because not everybody believe in this, but if you like, you can listen to positive affirmations or meditations, that can help you relax and find yourself.

    Surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with, who support you, who see your potential.

I hope you found some value in this article. How do you feel your self-esteem? Is it low or high? Is there any changes you want to make to help you progress forward?

Lead Image Source: Unsplash via Chela B.

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Comments

It's hard being unconfident with everything you do. That i'm not sure with this and I'm thinking of what might other say, I'm not confident with myself that it affects my self esteem. I don't even want to go outside because I always feel shy, I don't know what's wrong with me 😅. I want my confident back, I mean I a confident kid when until in senior high, but I suddenly feel not confident with myself because of some things.😟

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3 years ago

You can gain confidance. Just be yourself and ignore what others think or say about you. Forget this phrase "what if they don't like it, what would they say or think about me" who cares. I know it is hard, but you will get there.

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3 years ago

Saludos amigo Peter, es cierto lo que dices, no tenemos precio en el mercado, es decir no somos objetos y que el verdadero valor esta dentro de nosotros. es un gran error buscar aprobación de los demás para sentirnos valorados. gracias amigo por compartir .

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3 years ago

De nada, amigo mío. Gracias por tomarse el tiempo de leer mi artículo y gracias por su comentario.

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3 years ago

I am happy about how I read articles with the same topics and with different approaches. All about self-love and self-esteem, I am loving it. Just yesterday, I read one article about embracing one's insecurities, and the writer saying it's inspired from my article where I revealed my insecurities. This article seems to be a continuation to the story, talking about how self-love and self-esteem in detail.

This article made me happier today, thank you so much. :)

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3 years ago

This is amazing how sometimes we think about the same topics. I didn't read that article. The good thing is, that everybody has their own point of view or way of thinking of saying, writing someting. I am glad to hear, that I made you happy. I wish you a very pleasant weekend with lots of Kpop. :)

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3 years ago

Of course. Thanks a lot!

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3 years ago

Self-esteem as you yourself say can be forced to occur. Saying to ourselves those words you have written is enough. Saying sweet, pleasant things to ourselves from the time we wake up until nightfall will always be a good opportunity to tell ourselves how good we are. It's a good read your article.

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3 years ago

This is true for so many other things too. Our mind is amazing. What we hear, what we think and what we say to ourselves we behave accordingly. I believe, that the power of words can influence the way we think.

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3 years ago

The word has power, the bible says so and it works for everything in life.

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3 years ago