No is one of the shortest words at least in English and yet the hardest to say. We may say yes against our will, even if it is inconvenient or we can't take the time to do it. Either way, we have to find the balance between saying yes and no.
Why Is It Easy To Say Yes?
We don't want to hurt the other person and we say yes, even if it makes us uncomfortable.
We don't want the other person to be disappointed.
It is easy to feel guilty for saying no, or to call ourselves selfish for not doing what we are asked to do.
At work, when our boss asks us to do something, even if it is not work-related, we feel that it is about our boss.
We may also think, that the other person may find themselves in a situation, where we ask them to do something and they may reciprocate.
It is also possible, that the other person thinks, that we are not able to do what they asked us to do and we feel bad about it.
The possibilities for saying yes are almost inexhaustible. If we always say yes, then we put ourselves at a disadvantage, because we cannot fulfill our duty.
Know when to say yes. Often, we have the time, energy and knowledge to say yes. Our hands are not tied. In fact, we can say yes, when we feel, that we can do it.
When we say yes to the favour we are asked, even if it is not our field or we are not skilled, there are thousands of opportunities to gain new experiences and new knowledge. However we have to find the balance, because by saying yes all the time, it could come at the expense of the successes we achieved.
If we say no to the requested favour, our first thought should not be how I am going to explain, why I am not doing it. We do not owe an explanation, because it is not something, that we should do at all costs. It is our choice and explaining is not appropriate.
When we say no, we can do it politely. We should not just say no, but we can say, for example: I am afraid, that I have to say no, but thank you for thinking of me to do the job. I am honoured, because you know, that this is not my area and therefore I am not competent.
Our Priorities Above All
It is vital to be clear about our priorities. The most important thing is to say yes to ourselves. It is not rewarding to do a job for someone else, if it is holding us back in our own work. A well-planned day can easily be ruined by somebody asking us to do a favour on a non-work-related task.
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness plays a big role in achieving balance. We need to make sure, that we know how to get our sense of balance right, what makes us stable and what can interfere. Ask ourselves questions, that will make us clear about our priorities and decisions.
How well do I understand or how well would I be able to do the things, I am asked to do and how do they affect my balance?
How much do I gain by saying yes and what do I lose by saying no?
How ecstatic I am when I say yes?
How important is my help to them and is it worth doing that particular favour in that particular moment?
Don't Be On Demand
By saying yes to everything and everybody, we will soon realize, that we will be on demand. Let me tell you what could happen. This is what I experienced. I used to say yes very often to people at work. When you are not present at a certain time, when something has to be done, you will be looked for.
Here is why: the gossip will spread all over the place, saying you do everything anytime. So everybody will be aware of that and will go to you so you will be bombarded, by tasks to do. This is not right. Your boss will be mad at you, because you cannot do your own job on time.
It Is All About Decision Makings
Probably some of the best things that have ever happened to you in life, happened because you said yes to something. Otherwise things just sort of stay the same. – Danny Wallace
From this quote, it seems that when we say yes, we mostly get good things. However, everything depends on our choice. The reason why we need to ask ourselves the questions mentioned above before we decide, is because we cannot know in advance, what the outcome of our decision will be, but if we prepare for it, we will at least have some idea of what we may be facing and not just blindly jump in.
When we make decisions, we present ourselves with ready-made facts. We have two choices. Yes or no, but we have to examine and make sure, that we are able to do the favour in case, we decide to say yes. And whether we have enough information about the task. Ask questions about, what it would be before involving anything. If we have lack of information and we don't fully understand what to do, it is no point to say yes, otherwise we could find ourselves in the middle of complaints. Also it is better to say yes if we sufficiently interested in it.
Finale Thoughts
Finding the balance between saying yes or no would make our life easier and we will be able to make better decisions too. It is ok to say yes, but only if we have a healthy balance between doing favours and our own responsibilities.
There was one time when I feel so bad for the saleslady because I had to let go of the item she's selling because I found something more important than hers. 💔