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Commitment Is Not What You Think It Is

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Written by   56
1 week ago
Topics: Life, Blog, Blogging, Thoughts, Motivation, ...

In this article, we will discuss why people think, that commitment is so difficult and what it brings to our lives.

What Does Commitment Mean To You?

I think, that many people are afraid of the idea of commitment or, if not afraid, they find it difficult, or rather, they treat it as a fact, that if they get involved with someone, they will be committed. This is true, but it seems difficult, because most people misunderstand the word commitment. They perceive, that they will no longer be a free person in a relationship. Their hands are tied and they are literally bound in a relationship.

It's not about being locked into a relationship and being a prisoner of someone. This is about me, by my commitment, doing something for a cause, in this case in a relationship, that will keep my values. Because of me, everything is made better by my commitment.

If we understand this, we will be aware, that commitment is nothing, but a decision. I make a decision and I stick to it. I think one of the fundamental problems in today's world is, that we have so many choices in every area and we have wide selection of everything.

What I mean by that? It must have happened to you, when you went shopping and stopped at a particular thing you wanted to buy, but there were at least five different brand of the same product. This already makes it difficult for us to make decisions. We feel like a hunter, who aims with their gun, but never shoot, because they cannot decide which wild animal to take.

Image Source: Unsplash via Raquel Martínez

The reason you can't choose is because you have that in your subconscious mind about what if the other is better. If I take this, I miss the other. It is pretty much fear of missing out. Believe me there are people, who actually go from shop to shop just to buy one thing. It is like when you are on a railway station and you can't decide which train to take, because you think, that the other directions are always better. There is one thing, that can help you to get out of this. It's taking decisions.

Bound By Commitment?

The big question is whether commitment is bondage or freedom. Let us ask ourselves this question: am I a prisoner or free if I commit myself? If I commit myself and stick to the one thing I have chosen to do, then it is true that I give up all the others. It could be anything a woman or a man in our lives, a job, a set of values or anything else, but there are so many possibilities open to us with that one thing. Opportunity to start a family, to build a career and I could go on and on.

We give ourselves the freedom, that we couldn't do before, because we couldn't decide what we wanted to do. Wandering aimlessly turns into something we have a lot to do with. Yes we focus on that one thing to the exclusion of everything else, but we are given so much freedom to build it up, that it becomes unlimited.

We can bring out all that we have, all that we can do, and work towards a goal instead of an aimless endlessness of purpose, which can lead to incredible success. It's not so true, that commitment bounds you, and it's so true, that it sets you free in what you want to achieve.

Is Happiness Possible Without Commitment?

It is important to mention happiness alongside freedom. The two complement each other. There are moments in every person's life, when sacrifices have to be made for a certain goal. When we make a commitment it is also a kind of sacrifice, because we are focusing on one thing, but this kind of sacrifice will be worth it, because when we reach our goal whether it is a family, a successful business or a career it will definitely give us happiness.

A committed person is no longer afraid of anything, because they have started to plan and build what they want to achieve, and will no longer be thinking about what they are missing out on, but will be happy to be successful through commitment. So all those external factors, all those external things that they thought they were missing out on, will now disappear and will no longer be an issue. Everyone has the opportunity to commit to something, but it is important to do it in time.

Was It Easier To Get Committed In The Past?

People say that everything used to be easier. People were committed at a much younger age, and by that I mean, for example, marriage and starting a family. My parents got married, when they were in their twenties and they as well as my grandparents lived together in marriage for the rest of their lives.

Image Source: Unsplash via Sandy Millar

Why was that, why was it easier than today? In the old days, the whole of life and the whole of society encouraged people to commit themselves. They lived in a kind of constraint without much choice. If they were not committed, they were squeezed out.

Today there is no external social constraint, religious or moral, no constraint at all. (I'm not talking about the current situation that's going on in the world, but in general.)

Image Source: Unsplash vis Mark Duffel

It is also more difficult today because today's freer people have to make certain choices for themselves and, if they are unable to make a decision, they cannot commit themselves.

In today's life without constraint, we can only be committed consciously and willingly. We must be in control of our own affairs in order to achieve the desired goal and be successful.

If you were afraid to commit yourself I hope now you look at it from a different approach. Dare and know how to make decisions and you will be successful because of your commitment.

Lead Image Source: Unsplash via Edward Cisneros

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Comments

Yeah. Most of the time people fear commitment, because they are afraid of responsibilities, but others are afraid to get involved because they might end up broken. I have these cousin of mine, who didn't want to get married, not because, she does not want responsibility but because she is afraid she'll suffer from long divorce papers. Idk why would she thinks of that, but as the way as I see it, because of her parents miserable set up she ended up fearing commitments.

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1 week ago

Oh that should not hold her back. Yes she shouls not think about divorce when she is not even married. You can explain to her what you read in this article. It might help her a bit to rethink about commitments.

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1 week ago

Nowadays people do not want to have commitments because at the same time they take away from having responsibilities. It is one thing to have an obligatory commitment and another thing to have a voluntary commitment.

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1 week ago

Yes responsibility is a big thing to deal with. I went for voluntary commitment and I don't regret it.

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1 week ago

When I was young and free, commitment means to me as locking relationship. So I always avoid the word commitment. But when I grew older i realize that being committed is to be responsible. So it's more about responsibility. Good post you have here.

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1 week ago

Thank you. That could have been a subtitle too. Good point. As we grow older and mature we think and do things differently. Get wiser too.

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1 week ago

Guilty again. I am not really fond of this word. I feel exactly how you described it: Commitment = Lack of Freedom.

However, there is one thing I committed to that did not make me feel like a prisoner. Read.cash. Interestingly, it helped me free my expressions more and be myself. I think it's the right commitment you are talking about. :)

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1 week ago

Exactly! That's what it is about. You may eliminate other things, because you commited to read.cash to achieve your goal and build your values. Now you have a lot of freedom to build whatever you want. Thanks for reading.

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1 week ago