Can Be Cheating Forgivable?

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Avatar for Peter-Molnar
3 years ago

As @JonicaBradley mentioned in her article, that cheating can be different and can be done so many ways. I am talking about the most common cheating in this article, which is cheating in a relationship. This is for the writing prompt #6. Cheating. Enjoy!

Unfortunately nowadays you can read more and more about, or even sadder, experience cheating. You could almost say, it has become fashionable. If you are with someone for ten years, it is considered a long term relationship. Maybe I said ten years too much?

What is very depressing is, that break-ups and divorces end in cheating in most cases. That is, because most people are selfishly afraid of loneliness and don't say, that they want to end the relationship without a third party in the picture.

It makes no difference whether we are talking about a boy or a girl. It is more common knowledge, that boys cheat on girls. The majority may still be boys, but girls are no saints either. They can just as easily slip away and ruin a mature adult man.

I see in a lot of places nowadays asking the question of what constitutes cheating in a relationship. In seeing the answers I have seen very different opinions. Some say, that a kiss is not cheating, others treat it as a divorce.

What is certain is, that a kiss on the lips is a very intimate thing and that kiss is usually the start of a relationship. Everyone remembers that. The first kiss is not to be forgotten precisely, because it is no longer a simple friendly kiss.

In my opinion, even a kiss is cheating, even if it is said to have been accidental. There is no accidental kissing. I am either kissing or not. For cheating, there must always be a compelling reason. I think in a well-functioning relationship, cheating shouldn't happen.

There can be countless reasons for cheating alienation from each other and thus the sex life can be ruined. That's when one of the parties is most likely to cheat. When they no longer get from the other what they used to get. Once again, I want to stress, that cheating is not the answer. It's an escape from loneliness.

Is Cheating Forgivable?

If someone can forgive after what has been done to them, then they deserve it. In my opinion, someone who has cheated once will do it a second time and a third time. I could not go on living with someone knowing, that they cheated on me. I would break off all contact with them.

There are cases, where one party gets bored after many years, when the couple has already built a stable future for themselves. Perhaps they have started a business together, have a family and a property together. In such cases, the situation is not as simple as for a couple with no joint assets. It may be worth talking things through, because there is something to lose outside the relationship.

Usually, if one party lies and tries to make up all sorts of things to excuse themselves, it is a sign that they would stay in the relationship, because they love their partner and care about the relationship, but if they don't even have the decency to excuse themselves, then it is all over and the relationship has become uninteresting.

One thing is for sure in this case, there was a gap somewhere in the relationship where a third person had crept in. The best marriage in the world can be ruined by a relationship, but the worst relationship in the world can be repaired if the parties can improve their relationship.

In this case, cheating can be a wake-up call to the parties, that something is wrong, but they want to fix it, they want to save their relationship, because they value their relationship a lot and they don't want to lose it. Of course, it may not be the same relationship as it was before, because they want to save the common good rather, than the relationship itself.

The real thing to value would be if the parties, without any material goods, decided to give themselves another chance and start afresh. However, the offending party should be aware, that the offended party's heart will be broken, which may take some time to heal. This must be taken into account and accepted.

However, this pain in the event, that the parties remain together despite the cheating, should not last long, as the partner is there and they have not broken up. However, many people make the mistake of wanting to know everything about the third person.

They are driven by curiosity and do their best to find out even the smallest, most detailed things. What the third person looks like, whether they are better, more beautiful, what they have to offer and so on. That's the worst thing they can do, because knowing this only makes their heart hurt more.

The more they learn about the third person, the tighter the noose around their own neck. The more they think about it, the more it seeps into their consciousness and the more painful it becomes for them. This will make them unable to pay attention to their partner, because the third person is always on their mind.

Only if the offending party gives the offended party time to heal can the whole relationship be restarted. They should tolerate and understand the pain, but when it is over, they both accept that what has happened is in the past and move on. They close that gate for good and open a new one. Our mistakes are only worth making if we can learn from them.

Let that be our cue. I hope you have enjoyed this article.

All image sources: Unsplash

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3 years ago

Comments

Generally, cheaters in a relationship are who we should be careful of. These people have high chances of cheating again. Well, for me, forgive the people who does their best to deserve the forgiveness. Haven't experienced being in a relationship though, so I can't relate to these cheating incidents. But giving people second chances should be done after a careful thinking. You don't want to be hurt again.

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3 years ago

As for me I can forgive as long as I can see that they are sincere that they won't cheat anymore like my partner, we have this fling issues but it's part of growing up since we were in a relationship since we were at young age.. but it also depends on situation.

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3 years ago

Once I was offered to be in an open relationship. I found it a bit srtange. So we could freely go ahead and meet others. We were agreed. It did not work out, because the girl I met knew that something is not right.

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3 years ago

As for me, Second chances are only for those who really are deserving to have it.

I was once a cheater, but I've came to realized that what I did was really awful and something terrible. So I'd never ever did it again.

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3 years ago

Thank you for being honest. I think it leaves a scar in you if you cheat and your partner finds out.

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3 years ago

We're the same, I would never be with again with someone whom I know had cheated on me. Simply because in the very first place if I am enough he won't cheat and will consider my feelings anyway. But, I never experienced being cheated by third parties, maybe only by lies.

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3 years ago

Not a good feeling to be cheated. I just could not see in my partners eyes if I find out they cheat.

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3 years ago

I enjoyed it 😊 niceeee!

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3 years ago

Thank you Meyzee. :)

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3 years ago

It is a good post. You have given your point of view in the case of infidelity. But it is a very complicated issue. I even remember songs where the lyrics include questioning what that person is like. Where they met, what that person does. There are those who compare themselves with the other person and question themselves about how ugly or pretty, how well or poorly dressed and things like that. It's all part of a crisis of momentum. You suffer, you go through it and you get over it. Infidelities are always strong cases to discuss.

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3 years ago

I included that part, because I went through it. I just wanted to know everything about that boy, who attracted my ex wife. It was a big mistake. I would never do that again and I hope I will not get into that situation. I cannot explain that feeling. It is very bad. Thanks for reading.

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3 years ago

That's how it is. and that happens to many. It happened to my sister. And that was a chapter that hit close to home for me to help her out of it. All those questions just like the song says and what you say that happened to you happened to her too.

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3 years ago