Hold my beer!🍻 🍻
At times, all of a sudden people treat you like you'd never expect them to. They use you when they need you and then they forget you conveniently.
My first reaction?
I feel like shit.
Next?
These thoughts rattle in my head at high speed-
Why? Why would someone act like that? What on earth have I done to get that kind of treatment? Am I responsible for letting someone walk all over me? Let me give the person the benefit of doubt. Would I ever have acted the way the person did?
If your answer is No, then chuck it. Chuck it in the f*** it bucket and move on.
Forgive that person even if it seems like the most difficult thing to do at that moment. It sucks, I know. Getting super mad is also the most natural reaction.
Don't associate yourself with their action. It wasn't you. It was not in your hands anyways. Don't blame yourself, even. Just be mindful about your associations going forward. This could be one of the biggest lessons you get going ahead in life. Use it. No pun intended.
I think it's important to be calm in such moments and blaming no one for whatever happened. People act ugly, I know but it's just the reflection of who they are. It is their character. Their actions form part of their personality. Plus the best way to console yourself might be explaining it this way- I can't control the other person's actions. What I can control is my reaction to it. I know this sounds magnificently clichéd but hey I am trying to pacify that part of you that feels hurt, betrayed, and used.
The whole thing can consume you because you considered that person like someone you are close to. At least because of this you know you are not on the same page as the person is. Probably it was just a Miraj. What you considered was something deep was just superficial for them. This helps you identify or separate what is real and what is just a façade. Look at this as a learning opportunity maybe. Such situations are the biggest teachers and allow you to judge a person's character better. It's not that you are always going to be right about someone's intention. It's anger on the surface and hurtful on a deeper level. But the best part? Now you know what the reality is. Now you know the nature and the person under that mask. It's okay to forgive yourself too. You believed the good in that person and went ahead with it. Not your fault. It's not that you were naïve to not understand the person's real intentions. Probably they were really good at their act.
Also, when I discussed this with another friend of mine she had experienced similar situations. She made a golden statement "Drop the expectations that you keep from people." Not exactly that but something similar. I think when you do something for someone never expect that person will act similarly when it's their turn. Leave it. I mean do it but then leave it right there. Expectations lead to anger and a feeling of betrayal.
I still think the world is not entirely a bad place and in moments like these when we tend to victimize ourselves (guilty, but I feel what I feel, I can't stop the feeling) and forget the good people around us who have always been there, supported us through thick and thin, seen us at our worst and still stayed with us. Let's not forget them. In fact, honor them in such situations. If you feel like venting, go to them and pour your heart out. Trust me you feel free and light.
Plus when I think about this whole situation of "feeling used" it's like the more I describe it the more I am giving importance to the whole situation and that person. Do they deserve it? Hell No!! So I want to stop myself right here. Stop giving your mental energy and space to the person who does not deserve it. Understand your worth, and move on.
Remember,
