How I Feel?
Hello everyone! Today, I want to share my experience on being a daughter on my mother and a daughter who’s seeking of a fatherly love, because all my life I’ve never been love by my father. Here it is.
Growing up, my life is full of pains, grudges, disappointments, discouragements and a painful memory on being a daughter. I have experienced to be rejected by my father. Yes! My father is very strict and I can say that he is a monster the way he acts, even if I’m trying my best to be a good daughter. Strict that even my older sister experienced it too, he doesn’t care about the way he scolded us, he always complains that I am useless, and it hurts a lot in my part! No matter how I try to be a good student, good daughter, doing good deeds and everything! Still I am useless in his eyes.
One time, when I was a little kid and that was afternoon, I came home late from playing with my friends, my father waited for me outside and I can see that he’s really mad at me. What he did? I was beaten like a pulp by my dad and the most painful was he folded me, to the point that my back hurts and I cannot stand up very well. I admit that it is my mistake, but to go too far that way? The way he disciplines is too much and always saying bad words. I promised to myself that if I would be a successful in the future I will leave the house with my mother and bought my mother a house, so that we can start our lives with something new.
Sometimes, my friends used to say that, “are you okay cherry?” even though it hurts and cries a lot every time we share experience about our father’s, because my classmates and friends used to see me as a strong, funny, full of life. My only escape to him are my friends and school because whenever I leave the house, I feel relieve, and happy. Sometimes, when I finished my secondary and came home with lots of awards and achievements, when he saw my awards he just said that, “I would be happier if you brought money than those awards that we can’t even eat.” For me, that was the most unforgettable and very painful statement that I heard from him. If he has no money, he always complains. To tell you the truth, my mother is the only one working and providing the needs of the family.
This was how my feelings about my father. I really don’t see him as the head of the family because he only thinks of himself. There’s a time that, i just wanted to die in order for me to escape the problems but it is a mistake to commit suicide, and I realized that I should still go on with my life even if it is hard. I’ll just think that why am I doing this is for my mom, she is the reason why I still want to pursue and reach my goals in life so that I can make my mom happy and proud. Give her what she needs when I got my first salary; build my dream house with my mom until she gets old, buy all we need.
Furthermore, I promise to myself that I would never hurt my children like my father did, I will care for them, love them, nurtured them, guide them, and give the needs of my future family as well. No matter how life was hard, we still have to go on because life is too short. Live your life to the fullest, remember that we only live once.