@Paganprincess 24 November 2020 edited more from that month

Silver Lining to Heart Break

We weren't meant for each other. I'd known that from the beginning but I'd let myself fall anyway. Was it worth it? Some days, yes. Others, no. He taught me a lot and for that I will always be grateful. It's always confusing in situations like that. Who should you be angry at? Him, for making you fall for him, or you, for doing it even thought you knew better. I guess being mad at the other person doesn't really make much sense, but logic doesn't have a place in matters of the heart. I tried to keep my distance but by the time I realized what was happening, I think it was already too late. It always starts the same for me. I get to know someone, befriend them, notice little things about them. I talk to them in person, online, texting and I like it. We're friends. I don't think much about beyond that until one day, it doesn't feel the same. I'll want to see them in person more, talk to them more. I miss them more often than before. When I look back on my past, it's always the same story. I'll shrug it off, ignore it and maybe that's the problem. It's true that hindsight is 20/20. I just, never seem to learn. I guess it's kind of cliché though. Girl falls for guy(s) she can't have, blah blah blah. You'd think I would have learned a lot sooner but, I always say I'm stubborn. So do most of the people who know me. Looking back on it I often wonder if I could go back and change it, would I? I suppose if I'd had the option in the moment, then yes I would have. I imagine almost anybody would go back and change the pain they're going through in the moment. Most of the time we are so lost in it, we don't think that anything good could possibly come from it. It's hard to remember in the instant of suffering that it won't last forever. It always seems like it will until the day you realize it's not as bad as the day before. Now though, I don't think I would. It's never a fun thing to go through but I think it's a necessary evil. It helped me get in touch with my emotions and I took that pain and turned it into something else. Something that to me was beautiful. It even helps me in my marriage now. I like to think all the heart break, that pain of any kind really can make you a better writer or even just a better person from experiencing it. Emotions are (in my opinion) a writers most powerful tool. They can take a two dimensional world and make it come to life.