The Messenger

[WP] While FTL-Travel is possible, FTL-Communication is not. This means that interstellar communication has to run through couriers, but also that the job of a courier is as dangerous as it is profitable. Your latest contract has the biggest bonus you have ever seen while looking comparatively easy.

*****

"Hey Kazzaak, what do you think of this?"

I began to look over the contract that Jerry, our team's weapons and repair expert, handed me. It had the telltale markings of the federation, its white and orange insignia shining on the page. "Why don't you ask Cap?" I clicked. "Or Mannon, that walking cloud of microbots is quite literally a million times smarter than me, being a part of a collective and all"

"Well Caps currently selling everything that isn't nailed down to buy a pre ignitor and a flack cannon, and Mannon is trying to get him to forgo the cannon so we DON'T blow up if we hit an asteroid. So then I...."

As Jerry went on some rant, I began to read the contract. It seemed simple enough, just make it to the homeworld of humanity and inform them of incoming rebel forces. We were already ferrying critical information to the front lines of a massive battle, and we wouldn't have to go far out of our way.

"And then Charles told me to ask you, so what's it say?" "We just have to go to Sol-86c, and warn them of a few rebels." "And what would we be paid?" "Let me check." I said as I continued reading, aloud for my stone compatriot. "If you choose to accept this mission, you will be rewarded with 100 scrap, and.. that has to be a typo" One thousand federation credits, the ship I was currently standing in was worth half of that before the rebellion, when it was a museum piece "One thousand federation credits"

It was at that moment, our captain returned. "What was that? Have you been holding out on me Kazzaak?" "No, Feds sent you a contract" While it was true that I hadn't exactly been "Honest" when reporting where my plunder was across the galaxy, but I digress.

As I watched the most money hungry man I had seen in all my days as a thief read that contract, I knew we were going to Sol-86c, Cap would only see this as free, easy money.

I knew better.

Even the simplest bounties had a hundred caveats and complications, Hell, that's how I wound up on this ship, a simple contract on a Kestrel Cruiser

While the rest of the crew celebrated our fortune, I just wondered how this would go wrong

"This is gonna Vekin SUCK"

***

"I VECKIN KNEW IT!" I screamed

At first, I thought maybe I was being a pessimist. Our travel was swift, and we didn't even run into that many rebels. Life on the Kestrel was "Normal". "As normal as it can be when you're an excellent captain surrounded by men made out of rock, sentient robots, and giant insects." Our captain wisecracked. "Nothing to be worried about Kaz"

That still didn't stop me from voicing my opinion.

After a somewhat uneventful journey, we arrived at the human homeworlds. It was then I realized just what the "complication" was

The human homeworlds, while still officially a part of the federation, were very sympathetic to the rebel cause. So when we rocked up to that rock, and they finally saw an opportunity to be "captured" by the rebels...

Needless to say, we were in for a bad time.

We held out at first, trying to get the propaganda out of their heads, but then the rebels finally showed.

What was once a peaceful mission now turned into a battle for survival. We took heavy damage to our hull, and several systems were set ablaze. Jerry barely made it out of the weapons room with his life, If it wasn't for his sturdy stone body, I doubt he would have.

Meanwhile, Cap and I were trying to deal with some borders.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah.

"I VEKING KNEW IT" I screamed, these damn borders where like Hydra's. For everyone we would kill, two more would teleport in.

"I told all of you that this was a bad idea, BUT NO. No one ever listens to Kazzaak, it is not like he once led A VEKING ARMY OF PIRATES." It was true, despite my experience, everyone treated me like a petty thief doing community service. The only reasons I'm still here are to avoid owing the feds SHIT and Jerry.

It was then our EXCELLENT CAPTAIN who opened his mouth.

"Personal junk can wait, Kazzaak. For now, let's focus on not getting punked by rebels"

Despite my personal grievances with Captain, I have to admit the man has a great work-life balance

The only reason we weren't out of here at this point is that our engine took a nasty hit from a missile, and since Jerry and Mannon were still busy putting out fires, it fell on us.

Now, let me tell you now, I wasn't much help. Do you know how hard it is to do maintenance with pincers and claws? I do, and I'd rather go back to fighting borders, but their teleporter was offline.

It took some effort, blood, sweat, and duct tape, but we got the engines online. Well, more like cap got it back online, I was waiting in the cockpit, ready to jump out of there.

Then, it showed it's ugly face

The Flagship

"AWW SHELL NO"

the next few seconds were spent panicking my way to the wheel. Then I saw that horrible number

"Drive 80 percent charged"

Now, I could tell you what happened next, but I have no memory of it. Cap says that his chair smelled of mantis pheromones for the next week.

When I came to, I was in the medbay with half a claw and one eye. Fortunately, this is the 48671st Common rotation, and cell regeneration was invented back in 48513. But recovery still sucked.

But none of that was the worst part

"You have got to be shitting me," Cap said

"IT WAS A VEKING TYPO"

The ten credits we would have gotten were barely enough for repairs, and good luck finding a repair station that takes them now.

Let it be known that the only two reasons I'm still are my friends, and the fact that I've been getting some more respect around here

-Kazzaakplethkilk, the greatest thief to ever live, is one of the six surviving Kestrel crew members.

*****

THE END.