For some of us, suicide wasn’t an option.
The escape Sally opted for was just something we couldn’t contemplate doing. Killing oneself. The fear of the unknown was too great. On one hand was the premise of damnation to hell. On the other hand, for some who didn’t think hell existed, was the eternity of nothingness. One just ceases to exist.
Neither of these options was palatable for us. So we had to live with it. The constant name-calling, bullying, occasional hitting, and pushing. The lack of association with our peers, the forming of a clique full of fellow ‘societal misfits’ as ourselves. Having each other’s backs in this brotherhood of ‘freaks’ was something even more depressing, but it gave us a sense of belonging.
A certain validation. A tiny inkling that for once, we might be important.
Of course, it didn’t help matters with the bullies – now, we could be picked on en masse. In one swoop, like a witchhunt. But with such meetings and conventions, we began to develop a thick-skinned approach. Facing the insults like they were nothing, and daring to dish out a few in rare cases.
This was an armor that only worked in public. In private, the façade wore off, and we were just sad, lonely kids.
Either way, soon we began to point out others’ faults – physically, mentally, emotionally. It was a shade fest. Everyone would try to put on fronts, but then when your faults were in the open, it was hard to disguise. Soon, people began to move wary, conscious of their faults, and trying to hide them at all costs. Friendships deteriorated, and people began to ask questions.
How did this happen? How did they get here?
Guess who got apportioned the blame? Us. Why? They said we started this. This airing of everyone’s faults.
Do you think they forgot that they first did it to us? That they first body-shamed us and hurt our feelings? No. They blamed us because we dared to fight the status quo. We dared to put them in our shoes, and show them what it felt like to be judged and maltreated based on one’s imperfections.
No, because we dared to even insinuate that they had imperfections. That we were all humans, no first-class, second-class, or third-class humans. Now we were the enemies, the monsters that body-shamed and made fun of people.
Now, do you see why I consider their online advocacy to be nothing but bullsh!t? Why I say that all they talk about is crap? Why I openly attack them every time they make their hypocrisy-filled campaigns? It’s because they wage a war against the monsters that they are without admitting it.
They are what they fight, but rather than come to terms with that fact, they hide behind the screen and dish out soundbites to fans and supporters who do not know how vile and heartless these people are. Do they fight it because of guilt over their past actions? Maybe. Most likely not.
They fight it because now, they fall into the category of what can be body-shamed.
They’ve become fat. They have stretch marks. They’re going bald.
When you body-shamed a young girl to her grave for having these imperfections, it was okay, but now you have them, it’s not okay for someone to force your own medicine down your throat?
The hypocrisy is deafening. It needs no explanation as even now, in its most basic form, it’s difficult to wrap my head around it. If I sound angry, it’s because I am. People nowadays would say that I shouldn’t judge them. That they’ve learned their lesson.
Then why don’t they acknowledge these doings? The pride of the faux reputation they have built is sickening. You only accept something when you’ve become it? That’s a big swindle.
Hypocrisy is a pandemic that will never be eradicated.
******
I know it’s been long since I posted something like this, but trust me, there was a lot to get off my chest at this point. Will repost in several other platforms.
Sad but this hypocrisy is what our society is made of. From state leaders, to some of our so-called friends, and even family members. 🙁