Queer Situation

[WP] The villain thought that the first queer youth hero who came to him for advice was odd but he didn't think much of it. After the 13th one, though, he'd begun to suspect that the their coming to him was more than just coincidence.

*****

"Doctor Doomsday", my assistant Brenda said over my office desk phone's speaker, "You have a visitor. They are currently being detained in cell block four."

I glared at my phone, irritated and confused by the ever more common interruption. "Again?" I asked, making sure my frustration was clear in my tone.

"Yes Doctor. They rang the doorbell and asked to speak with you specifically."

I sighed, tossing my tablet on my desk with a flick of my metallic wrist. "Tell the guards to hold them. I will be there sometime this morning."

Cell block four was exclusively for Superheroes, reinforced against the most common powers like super strength. The guards in that block had power suppression devices, counter-Hero combat training, and, in the event I could ever capture my nemesis WalkMan, white noise machines. For a random walk-in to be detained here, after willingly approaching my Doomsday Fort...

I pushed the button on the speakerphone once again. "Brenda, how old is the prisoner?" I asked.

"They are approximately 17, according to our bioscanners." She replied crisply.

I curled a cyborg hand into a fist. These teenage supers had kept coming to me for 'advice' like I was some high school councilor. I had an entire free wellness clinic set up in the city center, as part of several of my ongoing plans, that would have served them far better than I could, if I actually wanted to try.

I made my way to cell block 4, stopping along the way to check in with some of my newer employees. It was always good to keep a high morale within a villainous organization like mine, to prevent any disgruntled minion from helping a doo-gooder hero. A smile, a clap on a back, a quick question about the status of a spouse or child, all cost me mere seconds but made the minion's whole day.

When I finally reached cell block four, two of my guards greeted me. "She's in cell D", one told me. "She's been asking for you specifically."

"Then she shall have an audience." I said, walking past the guards. "Prepare the crematorium, in case she gives me an unsatisfactory performance."

I stopped in front of the cell door, and saw the young hero seated at the small desk within. She had short, spiked hair, dyed a vibrant blue... but as I watched, it shifted to a dark purple, and then a bright red.

Interesting.

I opened the door, but made no move to enter. The girl inside spun on her chair, startled by my sudden appearance.

"Doctor Doomsday", she said, in a false deep voice that made her sound far less intimidating than she probably thought it did. Her hair flushed to jet black as she spoke. "I, uh, I wanted to ask you-"

"Why do you children keep interrupting my Fortress of Doomitude?" I interrupted, using an actually intimidating tone. I had spent hundreds of hours practicing with a voice coach to achieve the perfect villainous sound to my speech, and added bio-mechanical subwoofers to amplify the effect.

The young woman cringed, while her hair shifted to a mustard yellow color. "Sorry" she said, trying to make herself look smaller in any way she could. "Its just, there's not a lot of LGBTQ+ heroes or villains out there for us to ask for advice."

I glared at the girl, confused. "Girl... I am married to a woman. I am not any of those letters you just jumbled out."

She tilted her head in confusion, and her hair turned to a salt-and-pepper grey. "But... you proposed to WalkMan... we though you two..."

She dug through a cargo pocket on her pants and brought out a printed photograph. I used my mechanical eye to zoom in on the picture, only to see a candid shot of me on one knee, ring raised towards a defensive WalkMan. I was asking WalkMan to be my 'official Nemesis', proposing with a sarcastic flourish of a sinister blade ring trap. It had removed his finger only moments after this picture was taken.

"It was all over the news, we were so happy for you two..."

I uttered a thoughtful grunting sound, considering my next move. If I could structure this right, this was a massive opportunity for me...

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but that was a trick. The ring contained a blade that later removed one of his fingers." I said, taking some of the edge out of my voice. I quickly resumed speaking as her features fell, changing her hair color to a sad deep grey. "However, I am an ally of the LGBTQ+ people. I know that there aren't any currently active queer heros on the grand stage. I understand how hard that can be for people such as yourself."

I took a step into the cell, and sat on the edge of the unused bed. I clasped my mechanical hands together, trying to relax my villainous demeanor in front of the girl. "So... what did you want to ask?"

The girl's short hair turned a vibrant pink as she perked up. "Well, I was going to ask how you handled being a gay villain, but since you're straight..."

I smiled at the young woman. "I am straight, yes. But I have a few henchmen and general employees who are in the LGBTQ+ community."

Her hair turned an even more brilliant shade of pink, to a degree I had never seen before. "Really?" Her eyes sparkled as well, with the same ultra pink hue.

"Yes. Would you like to speak with one of them?" I asked, offering a lifeline to the confused girl.

"Absolutely! Thank you, that would be great!" She said, bouncing to her feet. She was taller than I had assumed, probably close to six feet tall.

I stood and stepped out of the cell, back into the hallway. "I'll get that arranged. If you're interested, we offer internships here at Doomsday Inc. I would assign you to the powered henchmen division, headed by Stephan. He and his husband would love to speak with you."

The woman's hair turned a dull blue, and she erupted into tears. Before I could react, she was embracing me in a massive hug, sobbing into my lab coat.

I returned the hug, holding her until the sobs quieted down. "Sorry" she sniffled, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. "Its just... my parents... they kicked me out, and..."

I turned to one of the guards. "Please ask Stephan to come here. I want to introduce him to his newest team member."

The woman's hair returned to its vibrant pink hue, with the tips of the spikes showing some remnants of the blue I had come to associate with sadness. "Thank you" she whispered, and hugged me again.

"Welcome to the Doomsquad." I said, giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

*****

THE END