Optimistic

Optimistic, huh?

Heh, I’m sure many of you will be wondering what could be behind the sudden change of tone or mental state. I mean, from Exhausted to Cold, to Bored, and suddenly I’m optimistic. Must sound like you’re just listening to the mad ramblings of some clearly psychotic young adult.

Well, my emotions depend on the situation around me. They just follow the tide of happenings around me, and as much as I try to get in control of my emotions and how they affect my life, this is just how things are for me. At least in the meantime, this is the situation.

But yeah, from the title you can easily discern that I’m in a brighter mood than I’ve been for the past – what? Three days? Yeah. Is there a singular event that caused this? No, I don’t think so. Did I somehow manage to score a girlfriend within three days? I wish it was that easy lol. Maybe the universe aligned with God’s will to allow my mood to brighten.

First off, my friends finally returned to school today, because college is in session once again. Of course, I’d rather swallow a live grenade than let them know that I was damn lonely during the two weeks they were all gone, including my roommate who has been going home and coming back at any time he feels like (I can’t help but envy the convenient lifestyle of having a house within the state – too far to be coming to and from school every day, but close enough to run to when the need arises).

I had a few good discussions with them this evening, so that felt really nice as well. It felt like ages since I had to speak to anyone in person. Actually, that’s not true, I did go to the hostels to see some of my friends – but they’re not my close friends or ‘tight gees’ as we say here 😂. There’s only so much I can tell them. But now that’s over.

Also, the sun came out today, which is also a huge relief. My clothes finally got to dry after three years – I can’t afford a washing machine or dryer yet and the laundry services here and not student-friendly at all, so my hands have to bear the burden. But yeah, apart from that, the sky finally smiled and it felt much warmer. Three days of rain makes you appreciate the sun a bit, even though if it becomes excessively sunny I’d give anything for a little rain once again.

The grounds outside are still muddy and there are puddles of water everywhere, so I have to be very careful while moving around. I must have some tiny slips about ten or so times on my trips out, but at least I didn’t come back with muddy crocs like yesterday.

I made use of my power bank to power my phone to 90% this morning (luckily I managed to charge it, I wish I remembered to do that for my laptop), and I managed to get through the day with it. The only reason why it didn’t drain completely was probably that I took a two-hour nap in the afternoon (I’m really happy about this development since my body was probably going to break down soon if I continued along the path I was going).

Then another thing that made me happy was that the power came back on in the evening today. Yup, we went 24 hours without so much as a blink from any of the bulbs or sockets, and finally, the electricity was back and I was able to...

Well, I can't say it massively affected what I was doing at the moment and made me take this huge U-turn or rethink my life choices, but it is just good, y'know? Knowing that there's power and you can use your devices or just enjoy the fan I guess. It's just one of those feelings.

Oh and then I thought about the whole school situation, and I saw that it was a waste of time to continue worrying about the state of things. Actually, it is even more detrimental to my chances of success if I continue dwelling on how bad things seem to be at the moment.

It's a new semester after all. I have, what, five months to my professional exams,. and I might as well capitalize on the golden opportunity I have now to make up for lost grounds. Maybe I won't get a distinction, but if a passing grade will get me to my 4th year, then you bet I'll take it!

This standpoint may or may not have been influenced by my class representative, who's also my very good friend. Of course, he didn't say all this to me directly, like hell I'd sit and listen to this lecture 😂. But he typed it on the group chat, and I know many people needed that, even though few would admit it.

The people in my class have a thing for maintaining this facade of being on top of things, even when they're drowning. It comes across as pathetic to me in my opinion, but hey, maybe it's their own support system, you know? Whatever helps them sleep at night then.

But all in all, I feel good. A few worries here and there, but meh, I know I'll survive. The school fees situation seems to be under control at the moment, I can't say how long I can keep things stable but everything looks good for now, so I hope it says like that.

Thanks for reading, like and comment if you feel like this was a good read!