One of the most difficult people to work or relate with is irritable people - take it from someone who knows. My mother and elder sister were very irritable, and that behavior was at odds with my calm, easygoing nature. While they were so easy to annoy and were so annoying to talk to, I was just this guy that wanted to live out every day of my life like a carefree cloud in the sky.
I, however, got the trait from them. Or I don't think it was that; I think the fault is that I mirror the vibe everyone gives me. If you're cool and easygoing with me, I'll reciprocate and we'll move smoothly. If you yell at me incessantly, I'll get equally fired up and yell back. It's just how life is.
Usually, my mother and father would get riled up about h0w I was disres[pectful and how I raise my voice at my elders. I usually replied with the statement that it was a shame couples didn't have parenting classes where they actually learned how to be parents before proceeding to have children. If they did, they wouldn't ruin childhood for many kids and the parent-child relationship would be a lot better. Because I didn't understand how a parent who hardly used low, calm tones on their children expected children to automatically develop the 'respect' to use such tones.
Classic 'do as I say' instead of 'do as I do' parenting,. which has long since been proved to be ineffective.
But then again, I detested getting riled up and watching the whole thing deteriorate over a couple of days. If I feel like I deserved an apology, I'm usually headstrong, so I refuse to apologize first. I'd rather watch the whole thing burn to ashes that to concede and give the opposite party an undeserved feeling of being right.
Childish as it was, I guess we ll have that Achilles' Heel.
Finally, I got to understand that yelling back was not only counterproductive, it also stressed me a lot. I don't like stress. especially when it isn't for any gain on my part. I decided to take two much better approaches that would easily solve the problem.
RESPOND IN CALM TONES
The best way to make that person realize the folly of responding in such loud, annoying tones, is to reply calmly. This works best when the person is your boss, teacher, or someone you're not related to. People in authority especially.
The noticeably calm tones offset the person's detestable anger and makes him/her realize that the one-sided yelling is embarrassing, especially when it's in public. Also, this method does require a lot of patience, since some people are too dense to take the hint.
SILENT TREATMENT
Above anything else, the silent treatment works best, especially when the offender s someone you know personally or share a close relationship with. By choosing to ignore, or more politely, calmly look at the person throughout the shout session, you avoid any unnecessary argument and make the person know that you're not down for an altercation.
The Silent Treatment works really well because soon after, you can approach that person, inform them of your disposition towards their shouting, and then calmly trash things out with them. Problems are never solved when there is way too much negative energy surrounding the parties involved.
In extreme cases when none of these works, I impolitely ignore. Not because I'm trying to be disrespectful, but because I'm choosing to place my mental health, sanity, and happiness above any other person or topic.
Even in being selfless, try to look out for yourself. You've only got one life to live.
I also used to mirror the way people speak to me. Haha. I don't tolerate people being disrespectful, older than me or not. But now, I realized that my peace is more important than proving my point. Sign of aging? I guess 😂😂