Hephaestus

[WP] People don't seem to realise that figures of mythos evolve too. The Grim Reaper, for example, no longer wields his scythe, opting to harvest souls with a combine harvester. Cupid traded his bow for a sniper rifle decades ago. You're the dealer that supplies the mythical world with technology.

*****

“Why have you brought me to Poseidon's domain, boy?” Zeus was standing in the middle of a battleship somewhere off the coast of Niue in the southern Pacific. He was sweating and did not look comfortable in a US Navy uniform.

Seb stood in his engineer's uniform, black beard with a streak of grey, and generally looking scruffy. He smiled “Oh, you have god to see this. You were looking for an upgrade?”

“I was not.” Zeus puffed up. “Just because Cupid and Charon took your upgrades… doesn’t mean…” He blustered a second “I don’t need your upgrade He… Sebastian.”

“You all do. The world’s moving on. A bow and arrow just doesn’t cut it for Cupid. And now he can match couples from over a mile away. Progress.”

Whispering, but only slightly, Zeus said “You made my wife sit on a seat she could not get up from!”

“It’s a La-Z-Boy. You don’t WANT to get up from it. And I styled it in gold for your whole aesthetic.” Seb waved a hand. “It’s fine. You both have one now.”

“That’s not the point. Eris hasn’t forgiven you for giving humans the Internet.”

“That's because they wanted another world war. The humans made the United Nations. And to be fair it caused a lot of OTHER strife and conflict. They should thank me for that.”

“Why are we here Seb?” Zeus said, walking to the edge of the ship.

“You’ve resisted me before on those lightning bolts. I told you when Benjamin did his thing, and you hit that key instead. And I know you’ve practiced on a few people ; like that one guy you hit 11 times. And I tried to get you with the Tesla thing; but I know that didn’t take off as I thought it would. I was maybe a little wrong there. But in my defence the humans now run their whole world on what is basically lightning bolts. You’ve the most powerful god again, even if you don't get to smite as you one did. The times have been good.” Seb said looking out into the ocean, pulling a pair of ear protectors out and handing them to Zeus.

“Hera did like you for that. And the bonus with the expansion of the concept of Marriage put you in her good books, which means I’ve taken this meeting. This isn’t like your Vegas Tunnel of love thing again is it?” Zeus asked, looking down at the ear protectors.

“No no. Nothing like that. This will be an upgrade to your bolts. Put those on.” Seb pulled a pair out for himself and put them on.

“I’m a god, I don’t need to wear these.” He put them down.

“Suit yourself. They’re testing the thing in a few seconds.” Seb started talking louder as a siren started to wail.

“What is that?” Zeus asked, picked up the ear protection slowly and put them on.

Seb pointed to a large canon above them “It’s a warning. So you know lightning and how power works, right? Well it turns out if you have a pair of metal rods, and you put electricity in a specific way... it’s complicated. But you can put a bit of metal in it, and it will fire it out.”

“Ah, so it’s a gun? I thought you claimed those already to annoy Ares?” Zeus said, inspecting the canon from underneath. “What’s special about it?”

There was an almighty bang, as the canon fired. Zeus felt a bit like he’d been hit by a Titan for a moment.

Seb laughed “So that was a 30 inch tungsten projectile fired from here, to hit a target that is about 100 miles away. Its travels at mach 7.5. About 10 times faster than your bolts.”

Zeus looked at the machine.

Seb patted it slightly “Railgun. No pesky lightning rods to protect against this. Any trees that get in the way would no longer be trees a moment later. No hiding from this. Just the hammer of a god. Which is why I thought of you.”

After a few moments Aeus looked out to the sea and said “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Think about what? Having the coolest power again?” Seb turned to look at the god, and limped over to put his arm around him. “I know you want the power. What’s stopping you?”

Zeus looked down “I just don’t get the same thrill from smiling that I used to. And this seems so much less personal. A railgun doesn’t feel like Zeus.”

“The times are a changin. Look, you know Poseidon took submarines from me. And you don’t want to end up like Ares, annoyed you didn’t take up my Airplanes, or missiles, or drones. He still wants to kill Zephyrus for taking that gift. He probably wants to kill me too; but that's another days problem. Now, will you take a gift from an old friend?”

“Ok… Sebastian.” Zeus turned to shake his hand

Seb took it and shook “As a one off, for old times, call me Hephaestus.”

*****

THE END.

I've always loved Greek Mythology so this was actually fun to write.