(Dis)Appointments

[WP] You're the worst adventurer in history. You've made every imaginable mistake and have had little to no success in quests or dungeons. So you decide to set up a school to teach new adventures what not to do. Your graduates have gone on to be elite adventurers making your school famous.

*****

"Please professor," Maggie said, leaning forwards attentively. Her light brown hair swung in the wind that rushed through the open window. It was facing the mountains and the mountains brought with them endless memories to me. "Tell us why you founded this school."

"It was long ago," I said, turning to the room full of eager students, something I never truly believed could happen. "Back when my hair was black and I couldn't grow a beard yet. I was born in the mountains of Black Point, right by the river. I was taught all about the dragons and other creatures that resided atop the mountain peaks.

"Our village was a popular one for traveling adventurers to stop and take a rest from their journeys. I met many interesting folks in my youth since my parents owned the inn where these interesting people would stop to rest their exhausted feet.

"I can still remember sitting in the smoky room of the inn while the adventures sat and smoked. Between drinks and puffs, they would exchange stories and, invited to the conversation or not I would sit and listen to them while the fire light flickered off their traveling gear. Some wore leather armor, others robes of silk or velvet. Their heights, facial features, race, and gender varied immensely but what quality was consistent in them was their desire to travel, see the world, and have interesting experiences.

"One woman, an older gal with grey hair and adorned in colorful clothes told me about a fairy Princess she met and befriended in the Great Yellow Hills. She claimed to still visit the Princess whenever she's in the area. The adventure involved an angry troll, a bad deal, and a lot of sneaking around.

"Obviously," I said, my eyes wandering over the expressions of my students. They blinked but hardly moved. "I was inspired by these people. I too wanted to be an adventurer. To live these tales first hand. The problem was I didn't know the first thing about adventuring or surviving on my own in the wild.

"As I got older I began to talk to the Adventurers. Over their evening meals and drinks, they would teach me what they knew about the world and surviving in it. A returning Rogue taught me how to pick locks and pockets. A wizard taught me how to read tombs and cast spells. A druid taught me about the important connection between nature and humanity. I learned from them, but always in a classroom-like setting. When I was eighteen I decided to take my knowledge to the mountains and go on a Quest of my own.

"I was a scrawny little thing who could barely hold a sword never mind swing it. But what I did have was passion and a desire to accomplish my goal. I was determined to go on an adventure and inspire other young children to do the same.

"The problem was, I hated being uncomfortable, and being outside for long journeys brought with it immense discomfort. I began to hate the wild. I disliked having to hunt for my food, I fumbled with matches, and I nearly died to creatures who found me asleep at night. One time I almost died to a group of thieves. I was cold, hungry, exhausted, and sitting beside a dragon's nest with three eggs when I truly began to question myself. What was I doing? Here I was, besides some of the most precious resources and I felt... nothing. I could take an egg and sell it for a huge profit. But would that one win make me feel like all the losses were worth it? Was that reward worth my time or discomfort?

"I wasn't sure if it was. I didn't seek glory, my ego didn't work like that. I began to realize, in that ridiculous moment, that I didn't want to be an adventurer at all. I began to laugh at myself. My silly ambition. Clearly, I didn't know myself very well.

"I laughed so hard I got the attention of the dragon and had to both slide and fall back down the mountain to avoid being killed right then and there. How pathetic would that have been?

"I eventually made it to a small mountain village, one that reminded me of my own. I was older by this point, and I was growing a beard. My body had grown into itself and I was no longer that scrawny little man-boy. I was sipping on a cup of ale and listening to some adventurers exchange stories when I saw her. A teen girl with big hopeful brown eyes. She fumbled with a loose piece of fabric on her apron as she stood a little ways away from the adventure's, listening intently to their tales. I leaned over to her.

"You know," I said, "They make it sound a lot easier than it is because they only ever tell stories of the fun parts."

"Oh," the girl said. Then, after thinking for a moment she continued, "I still want to be an adventurer! I could do it. I can sleep outside and hunt for my own food. It would all be worth the excitement I get from the fun parts."

"Truly," I said, "You'd still venture into the unknown without knowing enough to actually make it? You want to learn life the hard way?" She gestured to the Inn. It was nice enough but simple, like most poor villages.

"Anything is better than this," she said. "I'd welcome some discomfort, at least it'd give me something to think about."

"It's dangerous out there," I said, lifting my sleeve to show her my scars. I'd been bitten by mountain lions and a snake who crawled into my sleeping roll. I'd been burned by the sun and fire. My once beautiful, clear skin was broken and bruised. "You have no idea how many times I nearly died."

"But you also lived!" she said, "I'm sure if I got us a drink and sat by the fire you could tell me enough stories to last through the entire drink and probably many more. I'd be shit-faced drunk and you'd still have stories to tell." I paused. She wasn't wrong. I did have a lot of life lived among the losses. Did that justify my lifestyle?

"True," I said, then sighed. "I don't think I could convince you not to be an Adventurer. How old are you? 16?" she nodded, "You still have a few years in the nest before you'd be ready to leave on a journey. I'll make you a deal. You will wait to leave on your adventure till you are at least 18 and in return, I will teach you everything I know about adventuring to help you survive out there. I don't want you to become another young corpse on the road."

She considered my words and then eyed me skeptically.

"How do I know your a good enough adventurer to teach me?" she said. I smiled.

"Great question," I said. "How about you get us a round of hot chocolate and we'll sit by the fire and I'll tell you some of those tales? When the glasses are empty you can judge if I'm a worthy teacher."

She agreed and Jesse became my first student. Word got around, mostly because Jesse bragged to all her friends about our lessons, and before I knew it I had more students than I knew what to do with. Jesse and I began to build this school and she stayed with me until she was 21 before she went off on her own adventures. You probably know her now as J.D the Masterful. She is quite remarkable. I am forever grateful to her.

"The years passed and my little school grew. It's been over thirty years now. I've hired teachers of all specialties and we teach students from ages 6-18. And that's how I became a Professor."

The students stared at me with some interest.

"Was it all worth it?" Kira asked quietly. "You know, all that work you put in and all."

I paused for a moment and considered.

"It was," I said, unable to prevent the tear that began to gather in my eye. "I know that fewer people die in the mountains and young people can be prepared as they venture out into the world. It has been my life's joy to have this legacy. It was all completely worth it."

*****

THE END