Diplomacy

[WP] The knight returns from his expedition, and the lookout towers report no activity from the dragon's cave. "How did you do that without bloodying your sword?" asks the prince regnant, his father ill. "Uhh... diplomacy, yes, diplomacy."

*****

"Diplomacy, Ser Aethelred?" Prince Eadric sighed before the court. "Really? That tired old euphemism? I'm not a child anymore. If laying with the beast gave a swifter and safer resolution to its predations than slaying it then simply report it so."

The court gasped at the prince's crude bluntness. Well, the soft northerners his mother had dragged south did. Those lords and ladies native to the land snorted in amusement. If Prince Eadric was always like this he'd make a fine king one day.

High Priest, Emile was the first of the northern courtiers to get over his squeamishness "Sire, while such things may occur they are not to be encouraged, let alone utilized as standard practice. The Benevolent Light does no-"

"Silence." Eadric cut through the old schemer's self-righteous drivel with a look of contempt. "I asked Ser Aethelred for a full, unbowdlerised report on the reality of the situation. Not for a lecture on what passes for your morality. Mother may have brought you here, and Father may have tolerated you, but I am still deciding on the future of you and yours. As of this moment, it does not look good."

Oh no, this was interesting. As Emile turned grey and worked his mouth like a fish the Prince turned back to his father's man.

"Your report if you please, Ser. Spare no detail, no matter how gruesome or sordid." Eadric gestured to the court scribe, who readied herself to transcribe.

"Yes my Prince. For the court record, your father wished to make you aware of my function at court when you came of age in private. Away from willfully ignorant ears."

"Noted." said Eadric with an amused look "Continue"

Aethelred turned to the squire beside him "Beast report. Dragon. Standard format and notation" The squire nodded, sat, and readied their parchment.

"Beast report oh-five-five-five-two-nine. Species: Dragon. Encounter number oh-one-eight. Dragon Eighteen was first sighted flying south by the Eris Pass border watchtower. Further sightings by North road towers eight, nine, and eleven. Detailed description provided by Fourroads garrison. Eighteen had stopped to drink from the lake and the guard had time to estimate measurements and make sketches."

"How did they manage to get so close?"

"They didn't have to, my Prince. Four roads is a trading town, their garrison has more than a few spyglasses."

"Makes sense. Continue." Eadric waved the knight on.

"Dragon Eighteen then continues south unobserved until Capital tower thirteen spots it over the Wildwood. Towers twelve and eleven confirm it. Three days later Great Drake Cave shows signs of habitation. Foresters and hunters in the region reported wildfires and a sudden lack of game in the area. Two weeks later nearby villages begin to suffer livestock attacks. Initially, entire herds were eaten, but the attacks tapered off to only a few animals each by the time my expedition arrived."

"Attacks decreased? But why?"

"Decreased in scale, but not in number" Ser Aethelred replied "It's seen quite often when a large creature has just completed a large journey or migration. Their reserves are depleted and the longer they stay in that state the more vulnerable they are."

"It was starving..."

"Yes, Dragon Eighteen was incredibly malnourished and underweight when I located and approached them."

"You actually approached a starving dragon?!"

"Eighteen had eaten enough to get out of the 'all-devouring' phase, but I still brought five head of cattle along to make sure." Aethelred looked about at the shocked faces of the court. "It's not as brave as it sounds. I know dragons, I know most monsters in fact. How they think, how they act and react. Any number of cattle, pigs, or deer make for a better meal than any man no matter how fat." That last phrase he directed at the High Priest. Aethelred ignored his look of outrage.

"Eighteen turned out to be a male greyscale, thirty years old, twenty foot long, incredibly shoddy draconic but managed to give his name as Ferrovorthrax. Use-name Ferro."

"Aren't dragons supposed to be quite eloquent? Even the more brutal sorts seem to manage it."

"Provided their parents, and later on their flight, teach them. Ferro, who shall be recorded as Eighteen for consistencies sake, was orphaned by adventurers about a month after hatching. From his description, it appears that Order of the Northern Light troops killed his parents for their hoard, smashed their eggs, and hunted down his siblings. As far as he knows, he's the only survivor."

The court was stunned. Is a band of murderous hobos killing dragons for money? Maybe. A bigoted noble giving the order? Could happen. Is the militant wing of an organized religion committing a home invasion on state orders? Oh, oh no.

"Your highness?" High Priest Emile shakily asked Prince Eadric, who was torn between being white with shock and puce with rage. "Your highness, if this is even slightly true then I have some letters to write. They'll be on your desk to review by nightfall"

"Do it. Guards. Watch him." Eadric barely choked out.

"Understandable" The priest bowed and was escorted from the room

"Clear the room." The hall emptied in seconds.

Eadric sank back to his throne "Fuuuuuck, why now?

"Welcome to kingship, cousin" Aethelred replied, dragging a chair next to him "Please enjoy your stay."

"I just... I just"

"You just thought that it would be me telling a bawdy story. Something to show those northern limp-wrists you aren't going to be the king they want and our people that you're not going to tolerate their holier-than-thou shite."

Eadric deflated. His favorite cousin had hit the nail on the head. "Yeah. That's about it."

"And if you got a tale from the Sauna Club to entertain yourself with of an evening, then so much the better." Aethelred shot Eadric an exaggerated knowing look

"Hey!" exclaimed Eadric with an embarrassed smile

"Am I lying?" Eadric shook his head "Didn't think so"

"Well, I suppose you'll be pleased to know that I didn't get to the good part yet."

"I'm sorry what."

"Ferro came south for safety, but by the time I reached him he'd eaten enough to get his hormones working properly again."

"Excuse me?"

"The poor lad was practically paralyzed when I found him. Three migration cycles, three spring ruts, all at the same time. There was no way I could move him to Scalefur Hall in that state. Was probably a part of the reason he was as incoherent as he was."

"So how..."

"You see, the trick is a long, greased oilskin glove....."

*****

THE END.