Dealing with your demons

[WP] Making a deal with a demon requires a soul, everyone knows that. It’s usually a bad idea, but you’ve got a crazy idea. Earlier, you traded your lunch money to the school bully in exchange for a paper that stated you now owned his soul. You’re about to find out if demons consider this a valid co

*****

“ሚስጥራዊ መልእክት ሚስጥራዊ መልእክት ሚስጥራዊ መልእክት” I spoke, as the pentagram in front of me began to glow a deep brimstone red.

“LORD AHMAHAREK! HEED MY CALL” I yelled.

Suddenly, the candles all around the circle lit instantly. But instead of an orange and yellow fire, they were all some variation of black or red.

As soon as the last candle lit, the pentagram cracked along the star lines, and the pieces began to crumble and fall into a new pit. I looked into the new hole, and found it went forever, until, I spied a person… no, a demon flying upwards out of it. I pulled my head back just it time for the black horned, pointed tail, leathery winged creature to reach the surface. It let out a dramatic bellow, and suddenly… nothing.

All the flames, the lights, the noise, all stopped at once, the pit filled itself in, and the demon landed and retracted all it devilish details. All at once, the ritual ended, and all that was left was me and a well dressed man in my moms basement.

“It… it actually worked!” I said with glee.

“Aha, yes, I’m here. My name is Ahmaharek, but you can just call me Aaron.” The man replied.

“Aaron, gotcha. Uh, ok, right to business, I summoned you to make a deal.” I said.

“Obviously. What can I do for you Chris?”

“Wh… how did you know my name?”

“Oh please, I know a lot about you. You’re picked on at school, you’ve got bad grades, your mom yells at you, and you’ve got that rash on your inner-“

It cut him off “ok, ok. so that must also mean you know why I summoned you.”

“HA. No, unfortunately I do not. I can infer why, but I can’t read thoughts. So my guess is that you want me to fix all your problems right?”

“Uh, well sorta. What can you offer?”

“Well, I can give you a book of deeds. Essentially, it’s a book that has information on everyone you meet. But not just birthdays and favorite colours, but also ways you can exploit them. Weaknesses, trigger words, guides on how you can ruin, or improve their lives.”

“Woah, so like, how I could get revenge on my bullies?”

“Right on the nose there kiddo. Not just that though, it’ll also have info for you to profit off their destruction, take from them, make their life a living hell. The only thing I ask in return for it, is something really insignificant. A soul.” Said the demon in a disarming tone.

“Ok… well what if it’s not my soul?”

“What do you mean?” Said the demon, puzzled.

“See, I have this paper saying that I own my bullies soul.” I pulled out a rolled up paper from my back pocket.

I continued, “today at lunch, my bully signed this in exchange for my lunch money.”

I handed the demon the unofficial contract.

“Let me see.”

The demon pulled out a pair of reading glasses, and went over the paper.

*This document states hereinafter that Chris Lonan is the eternal owner of one’s [Signed Name]’s eternal soul. From this point forward, the soul of [Signed Name] is under the direct ownership of Chris Lonan, and may be used in any capacity that the new owner may choose.

Signed: [Signed Name]*

“Hmm, I think this could work, but you’d need to get it notarized.”

“Notarized? You mean like at city hall?”

“No no, by a high raking demon, like Beelzebub, or Asmodeus. Hell, even Satan himself. I could help set that up, but you’d need to be the one to have it officiated, I can’t do it for you.”

“Oh! Ok, so then… how do get one of them to notarized it?”

“Haha, leave that to me.”

2 days later

Waiting in line at the demonic registry. Not exactly how I thought I’d be spending my weekend. Although it wasn’t exactly how I thought it’d be. Instead of death and fire, it looked like just a normal registry. Turns out that once humans started licensing drivers, hell realized that humans were leagues better at torturing people by waiting in lines than they were. So there I was, waiting for hours to get my contract officiated.

Finally once I got to the front, I handed the demon behind the counter my contract.

I said “hi, I need to get this officiated.”

The demon looked over the contract. Then he said “Alright, seems legit. Just a few standard questions before. What’s the purpose of the contract?”

“Uhh, ownership of someone’s soul.”

“Ok, was the contract signed on a blood moon?”

“No? I don’t… what?”

“Ok, do you have a soul carrier license, or other valid permit that allows the ownership of 2 or more souls?”

“Do I… do I need that if I’m a human?”

“Ugh, yes. you’ll need to go stand in the blue line. Get a 2 soul permit, then come back.”

“What? No I just waited 2 hours to get here. Can’t I just get the permit here?”

“Sorry, this is just notarizations. NEXT!”

“Oh come on, that line is like twice as long!”

“I said next. Move along.”

God damn it. This really is hell.

*****

THE END.

I know, I know, way to put a comedic spinon things. But yeah, that's what I felt like dpingz so that's what I did. Don't judge me😂

How are you guys doing btw? Thanks for all the up upvotes @Hanzell, I appreciate, a lot!