broken character

[WP] Your roommate is a hulking demon, a former warlord with millennia of combat experience, and the picture of menace and brutality. You just caught them halfway through a gallon-sized bucket of your favorite ice cream, frozen like a deer in headlights.

***

*contains inaccurate descriptions of religious events and a lot of tropes.*

***

I blinked, my gaze repeated snapping to the ice cream and my roommate's face.

"I can explain," he said, setting the tub aside and looking for all intents and purposes like a kicked puppy.

I shook my head, rapidly. "You don't have to. It's not... it's totally okay, man."

I winced at my word choice. Why did I call him man?

Choran was a centuries-old demon warlord. He was a menacing, destructive beast of a demon. He'll was afraid of his temper snapping and yet...

"I just... I went to the park today," he whispered. "My girlfriend—"he had a girlfriend"—and she said she wanted some space."

"You girlfriend wanted space..." I repeated

"Yes."

"Is she also a demon?"

"Of course not! She's an angel."

"Like literal God's creation angel with wings and halos?"

"Yes. Though the representation is stupid. They don't have halos. But they do have wings which can turn into knives. Only when they're threatened though. Otherwise they remain as fluffy, downy mess."

Angel wings were apparently a fluffy, downy mess that can turn into knives. That was... good to know.

I walked over to the couch and settled next to him. He curled up further on his corner, and sniffed. His enthusiasm now gone. I focused my gaze on the coffee table and firmly away from my terrifying demon roommate.

"Okay, okay. Why did she break up with you?"

"She said she was busy plotting a rebellion."

"She's plotting a rebellion against God?! But... but... isn't that how you became a..." I gestured to him not wanting to say the word.

"Oh! That's what we wanted you to believe. Luci was an overdramatic little shit—"hello, 21st century slang"—and threw a temper tantrum because God didn't let him name a star, his favorite star that was brought into existence after his name. So he said, I'm gonna go away and make an army and not come back and then he ran. Some of us followed him because he needed someone to keep him sane. He's a powerful being after all."

I blinked. I seemed to be doing that a lot I realized.

"But then why are you demons?" I screeched.

"Oh, Heaven was very cold. We always needed to bundle up. Something about being high up in the air. But He'll was just very hot, you know. We just adapted, man."

My world view shifted.

"But why is your girlfriend trying to—"

"Oh, because she's young. She only came into existence after we ran off to keep Luci sane."

"But wouldn't she adapt as well?" I asked.

"She would. But then she'd lose her wings. They're good and fluffy and soft and so very nice and pretty. She can't just lose her wings because she wants to be with me. I like her wings!"

He was glaring at me, the effect was entirely lost thanks to the stripe of vanilla ice cream painted across his cheek. He just looked like a little child in that moment.

"Maybe she just wants to have something in common with you, or maybe she just wants to spend more time with you?"

I provided those suggestions and watched Charon contemplate.

"What should I do?"

He looked utterly small and helpless in that moment and my motherhenning instincts almost took over wanting to swaddle him up in blankets.

"Why don't you call her down to earth and talk to her. Tell her how you really feel," I said, gently.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile.

With a snap of his fingers, his ratty t-shirt and hole-ridden shorts were replaced with a green button down and black jeans. His hair looked tamed and I was suddenly jealous of those powers.

He gave me a bright smile, that should have been creepy but was adorable instead, and disappeared silently.

Thirty minutes, I told myself, hysterically. I'm gonna take 30 minutes to freak out.

3 hours later

My demon roommate came back just in time for dinner, a huge smile on his face and a pep in his step.

"You were right," Charon said, grinning. "She just wanted to stay close to me and live with me. She just took that to the extreme."

"That's great—"

"So, I decided I'm gonna live with her. We both adored that apartment downtown—"

"—you're leaving—"

"—and we're gonna move in, immediately—"

"—that's not how it works," I screeched.

"It does when you're an angel and a demon," he said, eyes brimming with pride and dare I say, smugness. "So, bye, my friend, you've been a tremendous help."

Before I could protest about rent and utilities, a snap echoed across the room and all my roommate's—no, ex-roommate's—stuff was gone.

"How am I gonna pay the rent," I lamented.

A piece of paper floated and landed on my hand. I turned it over and read the words written on it. I smiled.

Dear my boyfriend's roommate,

thank you for your help. I know how much of a dunderhead he can be. So, I've taken the opportunity to pay the rent for the next six months and I have also taken the pleasure of sending roommate your way. Don't worry, you'll like him. He's a good guy and will clean up after himself unlike the oaf i have here. You can set him on a trial basis and go from there.

Your ex-roommate's girlfriend