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Fear of Saying No

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Written by   421
7 months ago

There are things in life that either spoil it or decorate it. As a rule, these are some little things that many do not even pay attention to. These little things are very clearly visible from the side. And today I will tell you about one of these little things. This is a trifle that poisons life not only for the owner himself, but also for the people around him. It's about the fear of saying no.

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Unfortunately, many people are afraid to refuse. They look for a ton of excuses not to do anything, instead of just telling the truth. Are these situations familiar to you?

Friends or relatives should come to visit you, but you absolutely do not want to receive anyone at home. Moreover, if people have expressed a desire to stay with you not a day or two, but a week or two.

What do most hospitable hosts do then? They begin to say that they have renovations in their house, or that they are already visiting and there is no more room, that they urgently need to go on a business trip for a whole month, or you have a bad cold and you are afraid of infecting someone. And the list of invented excuses can be endless.

But what could be much easier than just saying that you want to be alone and are not at all ready to accept anyone. The problem is that many people want to be good in the eyes of others, while they do not even think that it is impossible to be good in the eyes of everyone. If those around you do not understand your desire to be alone, then this should not worry you at all.

Another example. The woman ordered products over the Internet. I agreed on the address and delivery cost and confirmed my order. After the products arrived in the city of her residence, the woman started the game “I don't answer phone calls". It is unknown what happened while her order was in transit. Yes, it doesn't matter. Any buyer can change their mind about redeeming products shipped with cash on delivery.

But what is this woman doing? Instead of answering a phone call and explaining that due to some circumstances, she will not redeem the package, she simply ignores the calls. Because of her fear of saying "No," she moved on. After a while she turned off the phone altogether.

Do you think the sales manager who placed the order will stop learning the fate of this order? Not. This manager found another phone number to contact his client.

And here is a very funny situation. She picks up the phone, finds out exactly who is calling, hangs up and on the next call of the persistent seller asks to pick up another person's phone. And it is from this person that the seller learns that the woman you need is completely unknown to him, and that this is his phone.

In my entire career as a sales manager, there have been many such comical situations. For fear of saying "No", people spoil their lives not only for themselves, but also for those around them.

We can say for sure about these people that they cannot be relied on, that they can betray and fail. As a rule, such people communicate with themselves. They get angry and upset when someone lets them down. When someone promises them something, and then disappears from sight.

If you recognize a person in yourself who is afraid to say "No", then get rid of this fear. By doing this, you will save your life from unnecessary burden.

To get rid of the fear to speak as it is, it is enough to love yourself. Self-love and respect empowers a person with the strength to defend their interests without harming those around you. To refuse does not mean to offend. To refuse is to show respect for yourself and those around you.

Avoid lies and excuses. To learn this, constantly ask yourself the question: "Do I want to be treated the same way as I did with that person." Please act according to the answer to this question.

I believe that you will have the strength and courage to show respect for everyone around you, while not to the detriment of yourself.

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Written by   421
7 months ago
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Thank you for this article. I think I agree with you. People who are afraid of saying no harm themselves and also those around them. It results in so much grief and mistrust. I would rather be understood than misunderstood.

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