Sometimes opinion and advice does not come from outside and without demand, we ourselves are actively looking for it from people whose experience and knowledge we trust. Naturally, we cannot be experts in all areas with which we have to interact, so we turn to those who understand this better. But who, besides you, knows the situation from the inside as well as you know it? No friend, mentor, or professional can give you the answer that's best for you. As for issues related to professional self-realization, personal life, family relationships, etc., it is especially important to hear and listen to yourself.
It may seem that when you communicate with a person whose experience you trust, you are telling all the details of your life. But in fact, if your listener falls into the illusion that he knows exactly how you should be and what you need to do, he will focus on the system of his values, needs and desires, without realizing it. You can try to clarify the features of your feelings in this situation, and set the direction for subsequent actions, based on your needs and value system, but, in fact, for another person, this means becoming you for a while. Such emotional work and special professional skills are not available to every person, moreover, such work should not be done for another. Therefore, the ability to NOT give advice when you really want it out of the best intentions is that important skill,
Even if the client comes with a request to provide him with a clear plan of action to get out of the situation, the psychologist has no right to take 100% responsibility for solving the problem. Although the temptation to make a recommendation based on the experience of many other clients can be tricky. We all really have a lot in common and life situations can be similar, but one of the important tasks of a psychologist is to see a special individuality in each client and give him a tool for a deeper study and understanding of himself, the causes of his problem and ways to solve it. When there is a fear of the unknown and there is no trust in oneself, a person tries to rely on the opinions of others and follow their advice, not realizing that this can confuse him even more and lead him not at all where he would like.
That is why the task of a psychologist is to support you emotionally and create a comfortable and safe space in which you begin to hear and understand yourself better: what is pleasant and what is not very good, what destroys and what, on the contrary, fills with energy, what motivates, and what disorganizes, what enhances the desire to develop and act, and what, on the contrary, plunges you into apathy and inaction, why you feel uncomfortable, and what is pleasant ... and how to make harmony in life and harmony with oneself more. A psychologist is needed not to solve a client's problem, but to help a person find contact with himself and give access to tools for independent search for solutions. It is important for the client to be honest with himself, to learn to trust the answers that are already in him, and not to be afraid to act in an unknown direction.
In addition, the tool for finding answers and solutions that suits you is so individual that there is no universal way of finding contact with yourself, unfortunately or fortunately. For some it will be the absence of doubts and a feeling of the correctness or incorrectness of what is happening, even if it is difficult, or vice versa, everything is too easy and smooth, for someone it will be a bodily response and / or emotional manifestations, a stable increase or decrease in the amount of energy or constant fluctuations between its peak and decline, a feeling of comfort or discomfort in space, repulsion or attraction with some people, observing external events, random circumstances and where they lead, books and films that come to your attention and many other various factors.
When you begin to feel and understand what you need and for what, then you will no longer be able to unconsciously follow what others are saying. And trusting yourself, do not be afraid to take steps into the unknown and implement the ideas that come to your mind. After all, self-confidence is also about the confidence that you can cope with unforeseen circumstances, revealing new facets of your personality.