Plan what you’re going to say so you feel more confident. Having a plan will help you be more direct so that there are no misunderstandings. You want her to know that you’re asking her out in a romantic sense, not just as friends. You don’t have to repeat a script word-for-word, but you’ll feel more comfortable if you have a general idea of what to say. Here are some examples of things you could plan to say
“I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you want to come with me as my date?”
“Would you like to go to the new bookstore and grab a coffee together afterward?”
“I’d love to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about the new Thai place?”
If you’re really shy, use that to your advantage. You can even plan to say something like, “You know I’m a pretty shy person, so this is a little awkward for me, but I wanted to tell you that I think you’re really nice and have a great sense of humor. Would you want to go play mini-golf next weekend?”
Wait to ask her until you’re fairly certain she’ll be in a good mood. If you notice that she seems sad or angry about something, it might not be the best time to ask her out on a date. Try to catch her after something good happens, like if she gets a good grade on a test or gets an interview for a job she wants.
Asking a girl out in person can be nerve-wracking! To help ease your anxiety, set a deadline for yourself and commit to asking her before that date. Once you start the conversation, it’ll just take a few minutes to ask her out.
Tip: If she just recently broke up with someone, you may be tempted to jump right in and ask her out as soon as she’s available. But, chances are, she needs a little bit of time to adjust. Give her a few weeks before you attempt to ask her out. In the meantime, offer her your friendship and an ear to listen if she needs it.
Talk to her when she’s by herself so you don’t have an audience. If a girl is with a group of friends when you try to ask her out, she may get embarrassed or not be able to talk openly because she might feel uncomfortable about how many people are watching your interaction. Plan out a way that you can comfortably talk to her one-on-one.
You could ask to walk her to her next class.
You could ask her to wait up after a meeting because you have a question for her.
You could even send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere.
Make eye contact and do your best to speak clearly. When you get her one-on-one and are ready to ask her out, take a calming breath. Smile, make gentle eye contact, and stand up straight. Avoid slouching over, staring at the ground, or mumbling. Remember, you don’t need to say more than 2-3 sentences.[5]
If you’re nervous, practice what you’re going to say in front of a mirror several times.
You could also record yourself asking her out. Play it back to yourself to see how you sound and make any adjustments that you need to. Do you say “umm” or pause a lot? Keep practicing until your question sounds natural.
Ask her out! Once you’ve gotten her attention and are talking to her, you just need to take a deep breath and calmly ask her on a date. Say something like, “Would you like to grab a drink at the new coffeehouse this Sunday?” or “I’d like to get to know you better. What do you think about taking our dogs out for a walk something this weekend?” Remember to be direct and confident.
If you want to do something a little more romantic, consider something like having flowers delivered to her house. Then, follow up with her in person and say something like, “I hope you liked the flowers I sent. What do you think about going out this weekend?”
You could also do something a little out of the box, like have a pizza delivered to her with a note attached that says something like, “This is a little cheesy, but I’d love to go out to dinner with you this weekend.”
Respond positively, no matter what her answer is. In the best-case scenario, she said yes and you can move on to preparing for your date! If she turned you down, it’s normal to feel a little bummed. Do your best to not take it personally; try to view it as a “not the right time, not the right person” situation, and move on as best you can.
Definitely don’t try to convince her that she is making a mistake. She knows what she wants and trying to make her do something else will make her feel uncomfortable.
Try saying something like, “No worries—I’m glad I at least asked and don’t have to wonder! I hope you have a great day.” Be sincere and try to smile and not sound sarcastic.