There is an inherent leeway adhered to each role in our society. And is, more often than not, based on long-time cultural values that have no logical sense. This is the story of how I asked a nun to fuck off.
Monday's mornings
For a big portion of 2021, I've been resting on Mondays from any kind of real work. I cut myself off of slack and my cellphone is set to receive calls from a friends and family's list only—clients and work calls are blocked. And I don't open any social media app throughout the day.
I always start those mornings with some push-ups and then, a shower. After that, I always make myself an Omelette—it is a conscious choice that I take, a kind of cooking workout if you will. As to keep my craft honed.
"A delicate thing that only the most graceful of cooks can do right." Simon, a Chef I worked for a long time ago, once told me—referring to the omelette.
The perfect omelette doesn't have a tint of brown on the outside and is kept creamy, but not undercooked, on the inside. Most places serve it wrong. It has come to a point where people believe a seared, brown, and dry omelette—is a good omelette. The same goes for scrambled eggs.
Many years ago, I decided on a stay-at-home Saturday night plan, with a girl I was seeing at the time. On Sunday morning, I made her scrambled eggs—creamy, perfectly yellow, and nice curls in them. She said they were raw and that she wanted them dry, to a point where the eggs turn into small chunks. It was how she always had them. I tried to explain the art of cooking eggs, but it was so ingrained in her, she would not understand. Conventions are a hard thing to navigate—who can say what is right and what isn't when it comes to something not about core values and morality? I never saw her again though.
Anyhow, after eating breakfast I usually do some house cleaning, followed by some reading time. But the Monday when this story transpired, I had an appointment to get at.
Confetti cake
That specific Monday, I had an appointment with a friend of mine. I was going to teach him how to make confetti cake for his sister's upcoming birthday. So after having my Omelette, I went off to his house.
So I had finished getting all of the ingredients from my stores of choice and was on my way, walking to his house, carrying a few bags with me, when this ludicrous scene transpired.
An elderly man was walking, accompanied by a nun, from the other side of the sidewalk towards my direction. Side by side, both of them occupied the full length of the pathway. So when we met on the pavement—as the road was filled with cars passing at full speed—I figured they would line up for me to pass from one side. They didn't. Instead, they looked at me, as if expecting me, to disappear so they could continue their stroll—what the f***?
I looked at them too waiting for the only logical reaction to the problem at hand. For the length of less than a minute, it became a staring contest.
Then the man finally said, "Son, can´t you see we are trying to pass by? Would you mind putting yourself aside?"
I thought to myself, "What the f***?"
"I am sorry sir, where exactly should I position myself so you can pass? The road perhaps? Where many cars are passing at this moment? Are you aiming for me to become roadkill?", I answered diplomatically annoyed.
The nun quickly cut in, "Mind your tone, don´t you have any respect for your elders?"
A mother and a child were looking at us from the parallel sidewalk, amused by the scene, waiting to see how it would turn out. Inside my mind, many rofl-copters were being drawn.
"I am sorry lady, I am just trying to get on with my day, but it seems you both are occupying the whole length of the sidewalk. What do you want me to do? Walk on the road? many cars are going through. I thought you would line up and let me pass. You make no sense." I replied.
The old man intervened, "Watch your mouth smartass. She is a nun, you owe her respect."
Again I thought, "What the f***?" Mind you, all of this happened in a matter of minutes.
I took a big gasp of air and replied firmly, "Look, sir, I am sorry you both felt disrespected, that was not my intention at any time. I expected you to act logically and give me a pass. You did not. On the matter of respect, I do not owe you respect because you are old. Nor do I owe her respect because she happens to be a nun. Respect towards your person is something you build in others with your actions."
They did not answer me this time and I decided to carry on, passing them by. I was already half a meter away when I heard her say out loud, "son of a bitch."
Lololol what? WHAT? WHAT-DID-YOU-JUST-SAY?
My inner cook snapped. I turned around and asked kind of loudly, "Excuse me?" The nun flinched and I started walking slowly towards them. "Did you just call me a son of a bitch ma'am?"
The man turned to her and said, "Let´s go Edith"—he grabbed her gently by the shoulder—"it is getting late."
"I am sorry, you both. I believe one you just called me an asshole. Do you feel entitled to behave as you please yeah? Because you are nun? And it seems"—my body turned a bit, facing the old man now—"you are riding the same train? Because you are older than me? Let me tell you something. It doesn´t matter what or who you are. You never stop being considerate towards the rest."
The kid and the lady caring for him across the street smiled. By this point, they were already a tad scared. I approached a bit more and said, "Now with all due respect, would you mind fucking off?" Her irises widened as she starter to cower.
I dismissed the two with a hand gesture and carried on.
Thoughts on entitlement
The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. There is nothing more idiotic in today´s society. Be it because of the job we hold or held, the role we have in our family, because of our sexual genre, or even age, entitlement is a fool´s gold.
Then again, entitlement will raise more entitlement. But, I like to believe, what separates us truly from the rest of the animal world is—as hard as it may be at times—our ability to change and not remain solely a creature of habit. This—change—I talk about, I have seen with my eyes, so I can vouch for it. Consistency in rational thinking, on the other hand, I have never seen in a person—I am not exempt and it may be what eventually leads to our downfall as a species.
The solution to entitlement then draws itself as a sort of universal acceptance of equality. But doesn´t equality come with a degree of contempt for what we have accomplished? As meager as it may be?
Alas, modern society is such a headache.
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Hello everyone. My name is Kevin and I wrote this article originally on Medium. Recently I found this place and it seems like a sound alternative for me since I am in a country that isn't supported by Medium's paid partnership program.