While others lit up Christmas lights and candles, singing carols and wishing themselves a blissful Christmas, I stood under the bright blue stars wishing I was dead.
I knew mom and dad tried their best to provide for me and my siblings, but even on Christmas day, we had nothing to eat, and it seems as though no one care if we were starving or not. I wish I would die, it translates to one less mouth to feed, one less person mom and dad have to worry about.
I looked back into our house, I could see the tears in mom's eyes as dad tried to console her. She could not bear to see her children starve but there was nothing she could do. The world was cruel. Hunger had become my best friend. I talked to her every day, and yes, it's a she. And those days when I got to eat something, I knew in a few hours she would be back and we would continue our conversation.
On good days, we had enough to fill out stomachs for less than five hours, and on a very bad day, we went without food for more than 3 days. Mom was always crying, dad was always consoling, while I and my siblings were always wondering, what would life had been like if we had enough to eat.
I could not think past my stomach. I'll always run to the kitchen whenever I hear the song of anything metallic. As always, it was the rats playing without empty plates. Don't get me wrong, there was enough stream water to drink, just not enough food.
We were not always like this, I was born with a silver spoon, but it was taken away from us by those who swore to remain corrupt. Dad was a military officer, one of the best. And with his Job, we lived large and comfortable.
Two Christmas ago, dad was called for a milliary operation where he had to lie. But he chooses to walk the path of dignity and refused to lie. That day marked the end of the beginning for us. He was dishonorably discharged and everything we had was taken from us. We were outlawed and became peasants in our town. Everyone was scared to help us to avoid the same date that befell us.
Hunger knew me by name. But mom always prayed that our hearts may not be filled with hate. This was 15 years ago.
I looked down at my don as I replied to his question, "why do you always help people". Son, I know how it feels to be hungry and has no one to help.
This is a season of love and giving, and when you can, always give.
Happy Christmas.
