I recall the first time I laid eyes on her, some 6 years ago, and I wondered to myself, "what the hell was an angel doing on earth?". But there was no surprise in that because I first saw her in the early hours of morning mass. I felt bad, she'll probably disappear into thin air after she blesses whom God sent her to bless today, but I never took my eyes off her, just in case she decided to stay a bit longer on earth.
But during the offering, everywhere became crowded and I lost sight of her, and that was it, like the smoke from a fading candle, she was gone. I stood aghast and heartbroken, I looked up to the heavens and begged God, just one more glance lord, I said, just one more...
"Hello, is this the choir stand?", A soft, calm, and assuring voice echoed behind me, I felt goosebumps run through my entire body? I could not bear to turn, did God answer my prayers? The prayers of a sinner?
"Hello", the voice said again, and I turned around to behold those black beautiful eyes once more. Her smile was elastic, it stretched beyond the heavens, she was my promise...
Before I could speak, the choirmaster replied, "Yes this is it", and he took her away. I wasn't upset, I just stood and smiled, after all, she decided to stay a bit longer.
It seemed I had to wait for Sundays to behold her again, but wait I would. My week was filled with memories of her that she knew nothing about, and every Sunday I created new ones. She was an alto singer, I'm sure her voice echoed in heaven with God himself nodding to the melody she helped us create. I always wondered if I should walk up to her and tell her she was made just for me, but, but, that may be offensive, do angels get angry though?
I've stood on the sidelines, every Sunday for the past year watching her grow up to the amazing lady she was becoming, and I was glad I could watch. But today, watching wasn't enough anymore. I needed to become an integral part of her story, I needed to be a full part of her story. And so with my well-tailored suit and my violin in my left hand, just after messing up a performance, I walked up to her with the biggest smile I could summon and said, "Hello dear, my name is Shreds."
She turned and smiled back, I said her smile was elastic right? It stretched the very core of my existence, I melted in her presence like a lighted candle, I could not stand the radiance that emitted from her eyes.
"Hello", she said. I tried to jog my memories, to recall all that I rehearsed the previous nights, but I couldn't, it was as though a huge fog had clogged my memory, all I could remember was that that, I was in love with an angel.
"I like you", I said, and I immediately felt regret spiral down my spine as her smile turned into a frown. Damn! How could the first words I say to a stranger be this, but to me, she wasn't a stranger anymore, the last year was me getting to know her without her knowledge? I felt I had known her since day one, but I'm guessing the feeling wasn't mutual.
"I mean I like your dress".
The smile returned to her face.
"Oh", she giggled, "silly me, I thought you were talking of something else entirely, thank you".
Well, that was disappointing, I said to myself. I wasn't one to try again. So I gave up. I let my heart bleed, I wasn't courageous enough, I didn't understand what it meant to be in love with an angel, with a church girl. I couldn't phantom it because our worlds were different. She radiated something I could not understand, and I was too deep into the world to try anymore. I could not take one more rejection, I could not take one more sad tale.
So I regress into my shell, and once more, watched from afar, and admired the woman she was becoming...