I stared at my twin sister and wished she was never born. Don't get me wrong, we just turned 18 years but we could not boast of anything. Mom had us when she was 18 years and we never met dad. Grandma had mom when she was 18 years. It seemed as though the age of 18 was a curse in our family. Mom died immediately she had us, and so we became orphans immediately after we were born.
I wished she was not born because I'm scared, call me a coward if you wish but I'm scared. I've grown to love my twin sister with all my heart that I would do anything for her. I'll give my life in a heartbeat for her. This life we were living isn't what I wanted for her, so as we celebrated our 18th birthday in an orphanage home, knowing fully well that we would be kicked out soon to fend for ourselves, I swore that I would become give her the best life she deserves, I swore that day that I would make it, for her.
And so we were told we would be evicted from the orphanage home in a week, I could see the fear in her eyes but she held me and told me it would be alright, that we would survive on our own, together. I felt like crying but I had to be strong for her. I was scared of taking her out of the orphanage home into the world, it was a scary thought.
She was too innocent to face the world unprepared and unprotected. I had to do something and do it fast before we were evicted. Sister had the best smile anyone could have, her dimples were as deep as the Atlantic ocean, she was as beautiful as a polished diamond. She was perfect, the perfect prey for the world, but I won't let them get to her.
So the next day I met up with a known gang and told them I wanted in, my life of service, in exchange for money, wealth, and protection for my sister.
"Swear to me that my sister would never be touched by anyone, swear to me that she would be protected from this life, that she'll travel far away from here and live her best life". The gang leader nicknamed Bazuka looked at me and smiled, "I promise you shreds, she won't be touched and she would be provided for the rest of her life."
"Deal", I replied.
He smiled and sipped his tequila, placed his Cubana cigarette in his mouth, took a deep draw, and blew it on my face.
"You think it's that easy shreds, you walk in here and become one of us, just like that?" They all began to laugh at me. "You think this is a kid's circus? We need to trust you, we need to be sure you are man enough, you have to prove yourself!"
"I'm willing to do anything Bazuka", I Said. He smiled and motioned for me to kiss the ring on his finger, I did. "Anything you say? We'll see about that, meet us here tomorrow by 8 am." I said alright and left.
8 am sharp I was already at Bazuka's place, dressed in black and black as they requested. "Get into the car he said". I did and we drove to Marathon street and stopped at a very dark alley and we began to wait. This street looks very familiar, I've been here but I couldn't remember when. I became very uneasy, what if someone I know sees me. Before I could process my thoughts finish and probably change my mind, I heard Bazuka's voice.
"Anything you said?" Bazuka's voice sent the cold child's down my spine. I could not see his red eyes, not his angry-looking chiseled face, the alley was too dark to see anything except the grey smoke and red lights from his cigar.
"Yes, I said anything!"
"Bring her in", Bazuka gave his boys a command and they brought dragged in a girl who seemed to be struggling and trying to scream but her mouth was gagged and get face covered. They dragged her up to the top of a deserted building, the moon was out now, I could see enough now to notice that her face was covered with a black hood, but even though her face was covered, I could still feel her fear, I could still hear her cry behind the black hood. It's like I could sense her praying to God for help, calling to me for help, I could see the desperation in her body movements, it was like we were connected in some weird way. Her hands were tied behind her back. She was innocent, she was pleading for mercy, she was...
"She's your shreds, begin", Bazuka's voice once more distracted my thoughts.
"She's mine? How?" I said
"Open the floor, raped her, remember, you said anything!" My jaw dropped, I told myself I couldn't, but I remembered my sister and remembered the kind of life I wanted her to live. I wasn't doing this for myself, but for my sister, and if this was the price to pay, then I was willing.
So I tore open her trousers and began to plunge in. She tried fighting me but they used the back of their guns to hit her until she wasn't moving my h anymore. She just kept saying, "please stop, please stop, please forgive me, please stop". But I had closed my heart already, I had gone too far to back down now, I was one life for another.
And when I was done, they took turns to devour her. They were about 9 of us, they were rough and scary. They treated her like she was nothing. Like a piece of cabbage.
"You have to be cold to be in this business Shreds", bazuka said, "Take that barbed wire and plunged it inside, and I did. I could feel her screams, I could feel her gasping for air as the hood covered her face and limited the amount of oxygen she got even while she was being devoured. At a point, she asked us to just kill her. Blood was everywhere, she wasn't moving much anymore.
Bazuka handed me a gun and said I should kill her. I wasn't prepared to take a life, but I had to so that my sister would love her best life. So I pointed the gun right at the hooded girl, though my face was covered, I could see her staring at me in disappointment, it was as though she was reminding me of the fact that at 18 someone in my family always makes a grave MISTAKE and I was about to make one. It was as though at that moment, she was looking me in the eyes... She was staring right into my soul, I felt that connection again, this time very strong, strong enough to make me want to check who Sh...
"Shreds!", The sound of Bazuka's thunderous voice caused me to squeeze the trigger unconsciously and I shot her and she was dead.
"Good, now you are one of us, clear out the mess". And they left me and went back to the car. I was scared to open the hood but I had to put a face on my victim, a reminder of what I had just done.
And so I pulled off the hood and who I saw sent a huge surge of electric shock throughout my body. I stood still and could not believe my eyes.
"No, No, No, No!!!", This can't be Casandra, my twin! God no!!! I screamed this can't be you. I immediately picked up my phone and called her line, and then it dawned on me what I had done. I heard the sound of her famous ringtone in the pocket of the dead girl, I picked up the phone and saw my name on the screen calling, "Shreds❣️ forever", she always called me her forever.
My legs failed me, I collapsed beside her as I held her in my arms and began to scream, God no!!! What have I done, what have I done!!!
I could not control my tears, everything warned me, the streets, yes, the streets, I've been here before because it is close to where my sister works. The connection I felt with her, the twin connection and now, it was gone.
I just killed my... But before I could complete those words, I threw myself from the building, I was not going to live without her.
And while I was falling, faced down about to hit the ground and explode into a million pieces, I whispered,
"I'm sorry sister". That was the price I had to pay for a shortcut to success.
