I have always been called the bad egg in my family, a disgrace to my family's name, an embarrassment to our clan, there isn't a bad name I haven't been called. My dad can't even look me in the face again, my mom cried whenever she hears my story or the things that I have done, my siblings avoid, but what can I say, I did what I had to do, and I don't regret it. Do you want to know why? Here is my story.
Shreds, the second child of my humble parents who are pastors, so the burden to always represent and be holy has been in the family for ages. Even before I had teeth to talk, they had already ordained me a pastor, "this one would be a Pastor", dad Said, and mom screamed Amen, well, if only they knew what destiny had in plans for me.
I grew up in one of the deadliest neighbors in town, what did they expect to happen to me, to us? Dad and mom were sent to liberate the community, but they forget that for every good thing to be brought to life, one has to be sacrificed, I guess that would be me.
I grew up in a household where love and care ruled. We were thought to love even our enemies, but how could I love those who tried to hurt me, to hurt us, how could I? But I tried, soon to discover that if you can't beat them, then you join them.
Senior brother was our second father, ready to take a bullet for any of us, he was the next in line and had all the responsibilities of a father, he was important, he needed to remain clean. Junior's sister was just 6 years old, she has no idea what life was all about and needed to be protected from the evils that had hoard around in the night. And then there was me, I wasn't bothered with many responsibilities and I had already understood how the world works, so it was my duty to protect both of them, they were important, I wasn't.
So to protect them, I had to join the very thing that threatened their existence, I had to be bad so that they would be good, I had to be Cain so that there would be an Abel, I had to sacrifice my innocence so that they would keep theirs.
But you know what's sad about all these? They don't see all the sacrifices I've made to make sure that they stay out of this life, I represent my family on the other side so that they would be left alone, but no one sees it, no one cares, all they do is judge me until I became the prodigal son, but this time, there was no reunion awaiting me.
But at the end of it all, a man needs his family, so after all, I had done to protect them after I had gone to the darkest pits of hell to represent and liberate the family, I came back but the doors were shut on me. No one wanted me back, all the saws were my sins and not my reasons, all they saw was the hate and not the tears, they could not see me anymore, a saw was the monster I had become.
Do I blame them? No!.