Have you, as a guy ever tried to explain to anyone at all then talk more of the police that you were been sexually harassed by a woman? My guy has, and like his story which is similar to a host of other guys out here, I wish to share to sensitize the public on some certain hidden truths about the wiring of some extremist.
In his voice
At 14 years, while I usually go to her compound to fetch water, she was a middle-class working woman, tall, confident, elegant, and beautiful, you'll think she was an angel. She usually buys things for me and sometimes helps me to draw water from the well. So on this faithful day, she asked me to buy something for her from a close-by shop, I did and when I brought it, she asked me to come into her apartment which was the first time I did. On entering her room, she closed the door behind me and started talking to me about how she likes me and how I am well behaved and she would want to be my friend. I kept answering her, "thanks aunty" because she was at least 27 years at that time.
She always rebuked me when I did that, saying that I should call her by her name, and as strange as it was, I did. The next thing I knew, she asked me to help her unhook her bra, after struggling for a while it came off, and she was like "do I like what I'm seeing", I didn't even know what to answer, I just stared at her, wondering why it was important, and why would she be showing me such a sensitive part of her body.
She proceeded to touch me while saying stuff about love and love making and kept asking me how much I knew about sex, but I could not talk because my body was already on fire. I begged her I wanted to go back home but she insisted I stay awhile. She undressed and started kissing me, and I kept apologizing anytime our lips touched and told her I needed to go home but she insisted. She then slipped her hands inside my nicker and started romancing my stuff. I was just so confused at the moment wondering why she was doing all this to me. She kept assuring me that I will be fine, that she will take care of me and besides, this is what would make me a "big boy", I wanted to be a Big boy so I stayed and observed what she wanted to do. She asked me to suck her breast and then go down on her. At this point, I was just too scared to refused so I did anything she asked me to do. She kept asking me to do weird and silly stuff, and she just moved me around till I guess she was tired. Then she asked me to go and tell no one, thereafter she gave me some money.
This continued for over 7 months until I began to act strange around my aunties and mum, till somehow they found out. That day mum took me to the police station and that was the worst day of my life. After I explained what happened to the police with an angry mum at my side and panic written all over my face, they started asking me some really disturbing questions
"Did she force herself on you, beat you up, tie you up, threaten you?" I couldn't understand the question. "answer them!" Mum screamed.
"She made me do it," that was what I could answer.
"Did she force you?" they asked again. I just stared at them, confused and exhausted from their time, did they even believe me? Well, I guess she didn't force me to do anything.
Mum brought up the, "she manipulated his card and he is still a minor", and immediately mum said "minor", the policemen started laughing and were like she does not know Kids of nowadays. The questions continued rather in a comical tune now.
"Did your prick stand?"
"How did it enter?"
"During the said molestation, were you the one doing the to and fro movement?"
"Did you cry while being molested?"
"Did you tell her to stop?" yes I did, I replied immediately.
"Will you shut up." one officer said and my mum stared in shock, I guess then she realized this was a mistake.
I could swear my mum was already looking at me somehow, what they didn't realize was that they were destroying my psyche. That's when I realized that when it comes to the sexual fracas, a guy can never be the victim, still, they were not done. "Did she use juju and control your hands while pressing your breast or giving head? ahh? answer now? Shaebi you want to write a statement today abi?" At this point I was on the verge of crying, then they dropped the bombshell. "xhaebi you enjoyed it?" My mum just looked at me like an Agama lizard and as a scale fell from her eyes, she realized how stupid everything seemed. I kept mute and became a "man" that day.
My mum made me apologize to the police for wasting their time, we went home and she gave me the beating of my life and later made me listen to the "you are the man speech, you should never show weakness, you have muscles, use them. " that was the pet talk I always have hard times and times again.
Truth is, I don't blame her, I don't blame them.
Society has made men seem indestructible or iron men, and any man who shows any sign of weakness is a weakling.
You dare not cry
You dare not complain
You dare not plead
You dare not bleed
So now I am staring at my friend and all I see is the monster we all created, permit me to borrow this line and end on this note "the hate we give will surely come back to bite us."
