"Shedrach please hurry up, this is an emergency" the voice of the nurse knocking on the doors of the call room woke me up abruptly. I stared at the time, it was just half-past 1 am in the middle of the night, I thought I just started sleeping by 1 am. "What's it", I screamed back, as I rushed out of the room and put on my lab coat to begin work.
She began ranting about the clinical presentation of the patient and from her tone and voice, I knew it was a serious issue, after talking, I asked her to take me to the patient while I began to dish out orders immediately to my juniors. We won't lose anyone tonight, not on my watch. And when I entered the room where the patient laid, who I saw sent shock waves down my spine, but for you to understand why I need to take you back 18 years ago.
I nearly stopped dreaming when my primary 4 school teacher told me point blank and straight to my 8-year-Old face that I would never amount to anything because I broke one of the school's properties. I was still young but her words have hunted me for the better part of my life. Whenever I did something and I didn't succeed, I would say well, she already told me I would amount to nothing, so why should I even try.
From being top in class, I fell behind. I stopped trying, I stopped reading, I stopped working. She was my mentor, my favorite teacher, the one person I usually looked up to and she told me I could never achieve anything, so what was the point in trying. I gave up the race even before it started. She may have forgotten what she said, she might not have meant it, but because I held her words in high esteem, it broke the very core of my existence and shattered the little dream I had. I became lost at 8 years old.
In Jss2, while going back home with my usual last five results, my head bent and my body language, defeat was written all over it, I heard a documentary that changed the course of my life forever. "That thing that weighs you down, don't let it, instead, let it be the motivation you need to succeed."
And it dawned on me that I had taken her words the wrong way. Instead of believing myself incapable of becoming anything, I should strive to prove her wrong, that I could be something. And so I set out to be the best. I always had her words at the back of my mind. Whenever I was tired and about to give up, I remember that if I did, then she would be right, so I tried a little harder, believed a little more, struggled a little while, and then I would succeed.
Fast forward 18 years later, I've liberated myself from the shackles of her words and became the very thing I've always wanted to be, a health care provider.
I stared at her, anger and frustration began to build in my heart, all the harsh words she said to me that day became like a fresh wound in my heart, I could not hold my tears, how dare she smile at me, she had no right, who does she think she is.
"You remember me right? The 8-year-old pupil who you said would never amount to anything, hell yeah, it's me, I'm something, something you wished you are. I made it against all odds, I proved you fucking wrong." I took the grace of God for me to hold myself and not say those words to her, shreds remember you took an oath to serve humanity no matter who the person was.
I ran out and took in the fresh air, I could not let my hate and anger for her ruin my work. I said nobody would die today, not even her. So I ran back in and we began to treat her. I took her case personally. She must remain alive to see exactly what I had become. I made it even when she did not believe in me. And so after a battle all night to see that she survives, she finally did. And after a week of intensive treatment, she was back on her feet. On the 8th day, she was about to be discharged, I came in and did my final check-up, she was good as new. She began to te everyone how I took care of her and how loving and understanding I was towards her. Her family called me her son. When I was sure she was alright. I went back to my room and cried.
After crying, I felt this huge burden lift from my heart. Besides, that was the last day of my posting in that unit, I was going to a separate unit in a separate location. I told the nurse I would take care of her remaining bills, they should let her go. She requested to see me thank me for everything. But I could not face her, I could not give her that satisfaction. I could not let her have it her way. She wanted to know who I was or why I took her case personally, but I wasn't about to relive those moments anymore.
And so I disappeared, but stood at a distance and watched her wait until she was forced to leave. I felt peace for the first time in my life. I felt I could breathe again. I felt I had liberated myself from the burden of her words. I felt I became that person that saved her life, that was proof enough for me that I was something.
I felt free.
