I hate you God
You know what no one wants to talk about? Hate... I know all about hate, it starts deep down in your gut where it stares and churns and then it rises, yes, hate rises like a volcano and it burns hot on your breath, your eyes goes wild with fire and you try to clench your teeth so hard you'll think it would shatter...
I Hate you God, I hate you
Oh, don't tell me you've never said those words out loud, you feel such hate when something out of your control happens and you have no one to blame but God, yes God, the man upstairs who promised he would take care of you but is obviously failing at his job and he keeps telling you to trust him, oh I hate you.
I once knew a neighbor who lost their only child and stood in the middle of the church screaming, "I hate you God, I hate you". Could we blame her? At least her hate I understand and God's silence at those moments felt like cruelty.
My friend died when I was just 15 and I looked up to heaven, with tears in my eyes and I said those words, I mean he was full of life, so young, so full of dreams, so why would God take him. I don't understand it and I hate you for it, how can I trust you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding when you keep allowing bad things to happen to us, to me? Why he took my neighbor's child or my best friend, we will never understand it, but what's faith if it can endure.
Though God may not give us answers, he has given us the capacity to love, and the choice is left to us. We could choose to love him or hate him even though things seems to be going side ways. It's cruel, yes, but in the beginning we choose knowledge over obedience, we choose to have a choice over servitude, now this is what we Got. This is what our choices got us.
I hope we choose love over hate
@Shreds
