"JEFFREY, can you help me fix your sister's toy?" a mother asked her son. Do you also invite your children to do things for the benefit of other family members?
It is true that it is not easy to distract children from selfish behavior. In fact, we were born selfish. A newborn baby wants what he wants, when he wants it. And he doesn't tolerate delays, which is sometimes evident in frantic calls for attention.
But when the child receives affection and advice from his parents, he begins to pay attention to others. Over time, your selfish tendencies will decrease. It goes without saying that parents take a lot of time and effort. But over time, those who stick with their efforts will see results.
The role of parents' example
Whether parents like it or not, their children will follow. It is therefore important to set a good example of altruism. One parent said, “Our ten year old son saw us giving to other people from an early age. Now when we give to those in need, we ask for their involvement. We've seen him do little things for others without asking them, which indicates that he's not doing it just to please us. ""
The woman added: “If men are generous to their wives, the boy will realize it and do things for his mother as well as for his father. I know this is the case with our son. ""
This mother also made some interesting observations about the impact of parents' attitudes towards material goods on their children. “Our son,” he explained, “never hears us discussing money or saying, 'We can't pay for this or that. “Not because we're financially good; on the contrary. But we don't mind and that's why we do it. He feels safe. We observe that in homes where parents are constantly arguing over money , children are more selfish and themselves. again to discuss small things. "
It is often observed that a selfish child is one who does not get much attention from his parents, but usually very little. If a child can count on parents' help when they need it, it is often helpful. When a child is loved by his parents, he becomes loving. Yes, how a child is treated at a young age will largely form the basis of how they treat others in the future.
Opportunities to give an education
The importance of early training can hardly be underestimated. Therefore, if a child is properly trained to think about others in his early years, it is natural for him to give and help others.
A mother was recently observed practicing this principle. She heard her son say, "After you find the two coins, would you like to put one in your piggy bank and the other in your sister's bank?"
“Ok mom,” was the happy response.
Therefore, the seed has been planted, and if it is watered, it can be the basis for loving action in the future.
Other parents have revealed that they involve their children in discussions about family issues. The father makes the final decision, but the children can express their wishes, which will be taken into account. The father of a thirteen-year-old girl noted that the feeling that children are part of family activities and decisions fosters a spirit of love and selflessness in them. For example, he said, “I recently went out with my daughter to buy shoes. He saw a pair he liked, but when he said the price he said, “Oh daddy, I don't need such an expensive pair. This cheaper pair will do just fine. Is it weird that I think it's special? ""
Another father also shared how he and his wife tried to help their children make smart decisions. "As long as they are still with us," he said, "we can identify the gaps in their thinking and help them." To illustrate this point, he described a recently discussed dinner.
“The reason the cars came out,” recalled the father, “and our oldest son, who is crazy about cars today, said if he had the money he would buy a small sports car and would call the mark. " . I remember saying, "It's good to have a car, Alvin, but a small sports car doesn't leave a lot of room for a wife and kids, does it?"
He replied, "What do you mean by 'wife and children', father? I'm not even married yet.
I know my son, but one day it's going to be you and you have to think about it, right? You know it's okay to plan ahead, but you have to ask yourself how your projects will benefit or harm others, don 't you think? ""
"Well, I think you're right. A sports car does not have much space, but it would be nice to have."
"Besides, my son, you want a very expensive car. You can drive this nice car and have fun while your family is hungry. I'm sure you do not want it."
Of course not, Dad. I would not do that.
I know you would not do that. But I know you've seen many men in this area do just that: get what they want at the expense of family needs. ""
"Well, he thought about it for a minute and then he said, 'I think you'm right, Dad. Okay, I have a family car. If I have one, it's it.
"Yes, my son, but what you think now will determine your future plans. Therefore, it is better to think now. ""
Is that how you make your children think of others? Do you do it naturally and lovingly in relaxed conditions? It will have a greater chance of success than if it was done with effort. If you use empathy in your approach, your children will appreciate that you take their feelings into account and are more likely to get advice.
Disinterest in young and old
There is much that children can learn from grandparents and others over the years. You can read for anyone who has vision problems. You can include them in games or family activities. Just because they physically slowed down does not mean they did it mentally.
Outside the home, children can be publicly encouraged to understand and help the elderly. They can be encouraged to give up their seats on buses and trains. You can show respect by not interrupting the conversation and not overloading the conversation. Yes, instead of simply tolerating the elderly, as is common in some parts of the world today, children can learn to benefit from the wisdom and experience that these people often have.
Parents should also encourage their children to pay attention to their younger siblings. Otherwise, they may feel the intrusion of a novice into their mother's time. A mother who had a six-year-old son observed:
"We have called my daughter by her name since she was pregnant with my daughter and she has become very real to my son. When he came, he really wanted to help me. Years later, he told us how happy he was at birth.
Parents who prepare their children skilfully for the arrival of the child do not have to worry, as the case of a seven-year-old boy shows. When asked how she loved her little sister, she replied: “Oh, I love her. I love helping mom make up for it. But I do not like when he cries. I think it has shortcomings. When asked what she would do about it, she said, "As soon as she finds out, I'll talk to her."
It is often common for siblings to feel jealous or angry with each other. By avoiding favoritism and explaining their actions, parents can do much to combat this problem. A mother of three observed:
“As the children got older, the two youngest showed resentment when our eldest son received additional clothing or gifts. But we explained that he, at his age, needed her more. We assure you that they would also receive the same treatment in due course. Now that our daughter is that age, I appreciate her honesty.
There are benefits to serving others
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is a desire to serve others, to give your time, compassion, and care for them in need. Think of the observations from a 12-year-old boy who learned this lesson:
A man in our neighborhood recently lost his father and I really felt sorry for him. I wanted to do something to help him so I talked to my dad and he told me we could include him in some of our family activities. I invited him to our house, but he doesn't seem to want to be with anyone right now. But I will keep trying. ""
Are your children involved in this way? Do you care about others? They will be with your encouragement.
In fact, children who are encouraged to be selfless enjoy many benefits. You have a feeling of well-being and security. You are better prepared and balanced.
