@Olasquare 31 July 2021 more from that month

I Miss Her.

Every moment with your loved ones is important. You don't have to trivialize any moment because before you know it - in a flash, in a heartbeat, in a moment, a lot could be lost and soon, it can become a memory. Life waits for no man and it keeps moving like the speed of a jet. Life is unpredictable. Someone said something and it's the truth. The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes (life will demand its own while the government must demand theirs). What they both do with it is nothing we can start discussing. I am a *'daddy's boy'* right from the start and it has nothing to do with being the last born. I feel I just have a lot in common with him - I picked most of my traits from him. I was so close to him to the point that he knew I was dating a lady in our neighbourhood and he would gladly help me send my love letter to her anytime he came to visit me in school. I wasn't that close to my mum and that's because I feel we have different personalities and we view things differently. It doesn't mean she wasn't a good person, in fact, she was an amazing person and she loved all her children the same. I didn't know how she pulled through when we lost our only sister then. It was painful and I couldn't begin to imagine all she dealt with. I can remember any time I got back from school. She would go to my bag without telling me, bring out all my clothes and wash them. I would forever appreciate her thoughtfulness and love. She was a private person and I think I picked my introverted nature from her. She would never go out unless it was necessary. The only difference between me and her was that she likes her space and she is not a visitor kind of person. I am introverted too but I can still accommodate when someone visits. This was where I felt maybe she doesn't like people and I wasn't that close to her. I would give anything to have those moments back.

It took me a long time to understand that we are all different and if she was doing something different to how I would do it, it doesn't mean she is a bad person, it only means she needed a reason to understand another person's view in as much as I would be willing to understand her view. It took losing dad for me to know this and by the time we started bonding, she was gone too. I didn't even cry as much as I cried when dad died as I did when she died. Life sometimes gives us a second chance and sometimes it doesn't. I can remember her words to me few hours before she passed away. I was supposed to handle the ***'House Fellowship'*** manual from our Church. House Fellowship is more like a small division of members into groups based on their location but my compound was where we used to hold it because we have quite a lot of people in my area and especially in my house. Most of our tenants attended our Church. I was rehearsing and going over my notes when she said ***"Everyone loves hearing from you. You definitely know how to teach"***. I was super excited hearing that from her and it made me happy. The next word I heard from her when I was done with the fellowship was ***"I can't breathe so well"***. My heart broke. I went downstairs but she stayed at the Balcony and didn't come downstairs. When I was done, with her sweet words still ringing in my head, I was calling her in excitement and also to know why she stayed at the balcony and didn't come downstairs. I found her in her room struggling and that was when I raised alarm and we rushed her to the clinic. I was so confused that I was running after the car that was taking her to the hospital barefooted. Most people thought I had gone crazy and they were trying to restrict me. The more I tried to explain the more they felt I was losing it and it was so hard to explain to them I wasn't crazy. I was broken because she stayed till the end of my teaching and it was when we were about to share ***'The Grace'*** that I looked up and noticed she stood up and went inside. Life can be cruel sometimes and if I had one wish to bring back just one person into this world - choosing between my dad and mum, I would go with her. I would love to spend some more time with her. Life is fleeting and every moment counts. Cherish every moment with your loved ones no matter how rocky things might be with them because a time would come that you would wish for that moment above their demise. Life happens to everyone. Family is everything and we start with family while we also end with family. Create as many memories as you can because when life strikes the closest you'd be to them would be the memories you have both created together. I miss her and I would love to watch her laugh just one more time...if possible. *Thank you for your time.*