Jewel eclipsing

Jewels is furious again. She shuts her eyes at the red light. Coldplay’s Viva la Vida is playing loudly inside her silver sleek ride.

“I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can’t explain
I know Saint Peter won’t call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world”

Suddenly she is startled out of the song. Her cell phone is vibrating on her lap between her legs. It’s him. Again. Will his obsession with her ever end? Of course it won’t. She removes her sunglasses and looks in the visor’s mirror. Her skin is bronzed. Her lips are moist. She licks them and the raspberry mint scent relaxes her stressed face. He loves to see her in white. He will think she wore it for him. She didn’t have time to change when she was summoned by the demon. She looks down at her chest. Just a tiny hint of cleavage, but even that will arouse him. She sighs. Jewels knows her part in all of this messy madness. She doesn’t want the shame, the lies, the tension anymore, but he is incapable of acceptance.

What do you mean you are giving me up for Lent?

His tone was incredulous. It was the perfect means to an end. She remembers the Fat Tuesday when she returned him to his Maker at lunch as she swirled spaghetti on a fork.

God has instructed me to give you up for Lent. I heard His voice in my head.

She feigned sadness.

He grew quiet and reached across the table to comfort her.

Well I suppose if God spoke to you, then I will accept your forty day committment to Him.

Forty s-i-x days, she said softly though she wanted to scream.

His panic was palpable.

What else are you giving up?
Are you giving him up too?

He was so jealous of her husband. She avoided his second needy nauseating question.

I’m also giving up pasta,
she said as she slowly sucked the warm moist noodle into her mouth.

In fact, I won’t be at the office, much… I don’t want to be tempted.

She was lying again. His face became red like the tomato sauce on their plates. He sensed he was losing his abuse of power over her.

It had taken so long, but his control was drying up. His blue eyes stared into her empty well. For a moment she felt like the whore from scripture. She bowed her head and of course he reached over to comfort her again. This time she pulled away.

His hand had a smear of butter on it from the soft sour dough rolls in the basket the restaurant served. Two years ago she would have licked it off of him. Today it was disgusting.

It’s not Lent yet Jewels. We have until midnight. Let’s leave and go get a room.

The volcano began to bubble inside of her. She chose her words carefully.

I can’t believe you are saying these things to me. You are supposed to be a man of God. Please don’t pressure me. I feel sick.

She excused herself and went into the restroom at the far end of the Italian restaurant. She locked the door remembering the time he sneaked into the room shortly after their affair began. As she leaned against the door she looked at herself in the mirror and for a moment she prayed earnestly.

Please God. Get me out of this insanity.

Two years later their affair was still “on hold.”

You will return to me one day. I will not give up.

He would say this everytime he found her alone which was not often anymore. Her cell phone vibrated. It was him. Again.

She returned to the present as she parked her car far away from his. The Mexican restaurant was buzzing with all sorts of happy and hungry people, except for him. He looked pathetic sitting at his square tiny table with his glass of sangria.

Jewels slipped into the seat across from him and waited for him to speak.

You look fetching.

She said nothing.

Thank you for meeting me on such short notice. I have a very important question to ask you. Please don’t get mad, but I need to know.

She suddenly felt sorry for him. He was so fucking pathetic.

Please don’t apologize. I’m here. What is it you wish to know. I know this quagmire has affected us both, but it’s over. It was a huge mistake. I need it to be done.

He quickly blurted out his juvenile question.

Is he better than me? Is his more satisfying to you? Please take off your sunglasses. I want to look at your eyes when you answer my question.

Now Jewels was incredulous. She said nothing. Dead silence filled the air he had just polluted around their table.

Well, is he? Is his better than mine?

In that moment she wanted to shatter his ridiculous chatter. The truth was that his was definitely the tiniest thing she had ever encountered. And the lovely thing about that had been the fact that Jewels was tiny and taut. They had fit perfectly together. His teeny weeny thing inside of her tight one, but the sex had been such a small slice of their pie. Jewels remained silent. He continued.

Your silence tells me that his is bigger and better. You have fallen back into love with him haven’t you? Do you still think of me or miss me just a little bit?

His monologue continued.

Sometimes when I am alone in the sanctuary I dip my fingers in the communion wine and stick them in my mouth and remember how you tasted the first time we kissed after we drank what was left over from the service that Sunday afternoon.

And everytime I hold Angelina up into the air over my head, I look into her brown eyes and I pretend it’s you.

Jewels brain was now officially on fire.

She grew alarmed and she was triggered. Everything that damaged her in childhood returned.

[Jewels Eclipsing is an experimental work of art. I will be using fiction, essays, music, and poetry to weave a story.]