I am stuck in a loop and can't break out of it. Every time I try, it seems I fail miserably. Now that I have realized this, I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to achieve my dreams all by myself. I may not be the smartest, fastest or strongest person but I know that I can give my all to my dreams and still not be fulfilled. My biggest dream is to be successful in life, love, ministry and business but I just don't know how to do it on my own.

I want to love myself more but I know that it is impossible to love someone who does not love themselves first. I want to change my life but there are always outside factors that hold me back from doing so becoming the best I can be. I have been trying to achieve greatness ever since I was a child but it seems like every time I get close, I get pulled back down despite the desired outcome.

I want to be a success, to accomplish my goals and to do everything I'm supposed to do, but I feel like I'm heading down the wrong path and now I don't know what to do on my own. I wonder why I can't do more than this as I ought to. I did all I can but all seem not worth it, I wonder why? Why am I not getting what I want? I feel like having feelings of weakness, is a discouragement to me, this is a sick feeling, depression of a kind.

I wish somebody could just give me some words of encouragement or advice or don't I need it? I always think of the worst things that could happen, rather than the best things that could happen, mostly when things are tough and discouraging.

I gave up, I wonder why I can't do more than this as I ought to, I did all I can but all seem not worth it. I gave up on my dream of being the best I can be. I justtttt want to make the best out of life, I'm tired of being small, I'm tired of being unnoticed, I'm tired because I keep on telling myself that I can do it. also, some people say that I shouldn't give up because if one day I succeed, I will have a message for the world.

But lately, its been like this is not for me anymore, there are so many things going on inside my head, the feeling of being weak and useless keeps on growing even though I have found someone that loves me, I have some achievements but somehow I'm finding it meaningless. And it sucks because I'm still young and it is only the start of my journey but I'm already feeling like its the end.

Today is a good day, it’s a very good day. The sun will always rise, everything seems as beautiful as it should be. I woke up early this morning, ready to see the day and begin my activities. As I was on the way to start whatever I wanted to do I noticed that...

I give up on everything, I try to fight but people can't bring me down, am a fighter and it seems no one can beat me, I stayed strong for many years, but I can feel myself falling apart, I know where it all ends up, in a grave.

I cry every night when my parents can't see me, I try to be strong but I have lost faith in everything and everybody, I try to play with it as if its nothing but it keep haunting me. I have prayed to God to help me through this but it looks like He has forgotten about me.

I am scared, what if something happens tomorrow? What if I am killed by accident? What if my enemies find out who I really am? What if they kill me on purpose because of what I have done? I have done so much for my country but they can't see that. I have helped so many people but no one could appreciate what I have done for them.

I feel like giving up on the world, I see the people around me are successful and I want to do better too but for any reason, I fail every time. I get discouraged easily, I feel like a failure and I am not living my life normally.

I feel like a burden that no one wants to carry especially me, I feel like I have no goals in life and I don't have any inspirations at all. I don't feel like doing anything, they say we did what we can and we should be happy with what we have but is it really the case? it just feels so wrong to me, I know they mean well but what they can't understand is that the word "could" is a curse to me. I can't do anything more than this, why can't I do more than this? maybe because I'm not used to it? Or maybe it's because of my heart? I'm fucking weak and coward sometimes, I'm sorry for myself.

AM I WRITTING YOU MIND?

Nevertheless, are you going through stuff just as this above? What is that thing that is haunting you so badly that only you can tell? This is my message, don't give up yet because better days are ahead of you. What you need to know is that even in silence God is still there watching, draw your faith closer to those that will help you grow more and trust God. He knows what you are going through now, He is cooking a happy ending for you and doesn't end the story when God is not through with you. Create your happiness, do something exciting, talk to someone interesting, seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit if you know Him and above all don't give up.

Thanks to my sponsors.

Sorry I kept you in the dark reading through this article, I just felt someone somewhere needs words of encouragement and the strength to keep going. I decided to open up letting such a person know that I understand how it feels like and God knows best. If you are reading this DON'T GIVE UP ON YOU AND DON'T GIVE UP ON GOD. When the going gets tough the tough get going but if not you; you can encourage someone today you never can tell how far that might help someone out there who has given up.

Thanks for reading...

#Peace

#OkanlaDavid