#01 Since You Pass Away

We all have one way or the other lost something or someone to the pass. Do you know that feeling of loss? I could remember when my father pass away, it was not really shocking for me at first when I was called but when I reflected on the news later on I began to feel the pain of Loss.

When my father passed away, I feel the vacuum of a father in my heart. Though He has been ill for a while the love and bond of the family strengthen him to fight strong. It was a case that I was all over him always, feeding him, bathing him, cloth him, watching over him over the night, chatting with him when awake and some others.

We often take him to the hospital for treatment until we were told not to bring him as frequent as we do. The hospital expenses and stress reduced but drugs and home care increases. It was really hard for everyone in the house because we all felt the heat sort of. Then I was still much at home and not working so I spent more time with him, ensuring that his needs were met.

During that time we had fewer friends and extended family come checking on our welfare, they all stay away except for very few persons. We tried other means to get recovery herbal treatment and the likes but all we did was just to spend money and nothing seem different. Spiritually we did all we can but only God knows best.

Time went on and on, I saw the love between my father and mother despite all odds they still reflect the love for one another. I hear it in their voice, saw it in their action and I feel it in my heart. Love truly knows no bounds, neither does it know consider the opinions of others. My father will always want to see my mother around even to the extent of feeling jealousy when another male person comes visiting. We all laugh out the act but I felt how he loved her.

My mother also proved her love for her family so dearly without blemish. Mother loves father dearly no one can deny this fact, she spend what she had, her time, resources and never mind her loss. At the same time she catered for the family; schooling, feeding, rent before we moved to our own house, monitoring, ensuring the home is in order. It was a test of time for us all.

I saw every reason to help my mother take of my father till I gain admitted into the university. I felt that overburdened on mother's shoulder because things I relief her of will become visible to her. The horrible part was I felt he has little time to live and I never shared the feeling with anyone.

I travelled back home for a short while after the semester exams when I saw my father he has become calm and restful and I said to myself it getting nearer. I embraced him as much as I can, chat with him for a while and left him to rest. I appreciate my mother for her care and support. Then I left for school the following week and while on my way I felt it strong that I will be called in school that he passed away.

I was preparing to enter into the exam hall for the accounting test on that faithful day when I received a call from my mother that father had passed unto glory. I couldn't believe nor deny it. My mother's brother also called to inform me and check how am doing. I responded as if I wasn't bothered, till I got to the hall for the test. The course was a borrowed one from another department, I did the test for just doing sake and I went to church aftermath.

After church service walking home that night, suddenly father's reflection comes done on me. Then, tears drop down my eyes as I walked home. I was just thinking and at the same time talking to myself considering how it had come to this. If I have the power I would have raised him up as Jesus would to but what can I do.

On one side I was glad he was gone due to what he was passing through mentally and physically. Also, on the other side how I wish he lived to reap the fruits of his labour. He so much loved his wife and his children. He truly cares and will sacrifice for us. Father was gone already but my heart still search to see him before going.

As I conclude this part #01 I had a sweet encounter over the night that gave me rest understanding that he was with me as at the time I was searching him out in my heart. Nevertheless, there is still more to know about "since you pass away" and understand that this is just one among many others things that pass away.

To be continued...

#Peace ✌️

#OkanlaDavid