For the sins of my father

If you are not ready to accept nonsense, don't get married. Women are so full of nonsense and men, very nonsensical.

If the above statement were to be correct, then perhaps, my dad and mum were not ready to get married but they got married anyways. I am the result of their unpreparedness and I was forced to bear witness first hand to the out come of their unworthy marriage.

I don't regret being born. if I did, my only regret would be that I had to call a monster my dad. Growing up, I do not remember having a family in its real Sense. There was just a man and a woman living together under a roof and they shared a son, me. Dad was a boxer but he never fought in any ring, all he did was practice, practice and practice on a punching bag. Just so you know, the punching bag unfortunately, was my mum. Honestly, mum was not perfect, and maybe she enjoyed being punched. Every time dad beat her, she didn't stop insulting him. She would talk and talk and dad would never get tired of hitting her.

Thinking about those times now, I wonder, why did they even get married? These people were sworn enemies, how did they ever get to the conclusion of getting married?

It pained me greatly to see mum being maltreated that way. I didn't know why that happened but I remember that the beatings, boxings and hitting were usually preceded by quarrelling. Dad did less of the talking and quarrelling and did more of the punching while mum did more of the talking and quarrelling and non of the punching.

I remember that dad didn't come home a lot of times but I had no idea why. All of those times when he didn't come home, I ate his food the next morning. For what it's worth, I looked forward to dad not returning home every day because when he didn't return, I got to eat his food and most importantly, mum didn't get to be punched.

But what's interesting was that everytime dad didn't return home, mum was dead worried and stayed up most of the night. In my little mind, I would often wonder if mum was alright. This man beats you everyday, when he is not home, you should be happy. But instead, you worry yourself out for the same man.

I was not sure why he didn't return home sometimes, but as I grew older, I understood he was going out to be with another woman. At least, that's what I usually heard mum say. In his defense, I would often hear dad argue that work actually kept him away .

But if dad was working so hard, he should be earning a lot of money, or at least, enough to pay my school fees. I was just in primary school at the time but it was so difficult for Dad to pay my school fees. Not because he didn't have it, but because, according to mum, he didn't care about me just the same way he never cared about her.

whenever it was time to pay my school fees, mum would always call on her siblings who would always give her the money but not before they ask her to leave the bondage she was in in the name of marriage. Mum's response to them was always one and the same. She could not leave me behind, I was her consolation.

Most times, when mum asked for money for food, she was often ignored by dad. Everytime that happened, mum went to her siblings for financial help. I remember one night, mum had asked dad to give her money to start a petty business so she would not always ask him for money. I heard dad tell her that her business should be taking care of his son. That didn't go down well with mum as she quickly took offence. Although I didn't understand her anger at the time, but I pretty much understand it now. Dad would not bring money for food, not even for his son. Nor would he pay his son's school fees. He never thought his son needed clothes nor a pair of shoes. He didn't care if his son cut his hair or whether his son was sick and needed medical attention. But he put it to her that her job was to take care of his son . Which son? mum asked angrily, as she began to mention all the things he had failed to do for his so called son as a father. Not all the things actually, she didn't finish mentioning them before he pounced on her as he usually did. Mum could not sleep that night as she was in severe pains. Her face was swollen. Her eyes, her nose and her mouth. She looked like someone who was caught stealing in the market place and the angry mob left a touch on her face, if you know what I mean.

I wish I could help mum . Every time he touched her, I was filled with so much anger. I told my mum that if I wasn't so small, I would beat dad for her. She smiled as she held me closer to her self. I further promised mum that all the things dad had been doing to her, when I grew up and married my own wife, I would do them to her in revenge. I could see the displeasure on mum's face the moment I said that.

My son, mum began. You can not punish another person's child for the sins of your father. If anyone is to be punished, it should be your father, and that punishment most come from God alone. Your father is still your father no matter what he does. If you want to revenge for me, when you grow up and marry your own wife, treat her the way you would have loved your dad to treat me, mum concluded. In my head, I was still saying " if I marry I'll beat my wife more than this wicked man is beating my mum. He does not even know how to beat, I'll show him when I get married"

Imagine I grew up that way with no one telling me it was entirely my dad's fault that he maltreated my mum . Imagine the amount of hatred I would have had for an innocent woman whose only wrong was to marry me .

But how did I really want Dad to treat mum ? I just wanted to have the kind of family Mark had. They were a happy family. Mark's dad took him to school on his way to work, his mum brought him back . Mark and his dad talked and laughed together. But I never knew what my dad's teeth looked like. I had never seen him laugh.

Mark's dad was a very gentle man. Every one liked him, I liked him too. I even wished he was my dad. Sometimes, I thought that Mark didn't deserve his dad. Mark was a stupid boy. I seriously have no idea why I thought Mark was stupid, Maybe I was just jealous of him.

Because Mark's dad was gentle, I thought if he were my dad, he would never touch my mum because he didn't look as strong as my dad.

I can't remember why, but I remember dad having some sort of argument with Mark's dad one day and my dad was busy yelling. I thought he would pounce on Mark's dad anytime soon , like he usually did to mum, But he didn't.

Mark's dad didn't have much to say as he was a man of few words. Dad bombarded him with all manner of insults but he didn't say a word until Mark's mum came out and began to yell back at my dad. Dad was so quick to anger that he slapt her. The next thing I remember was dad on the ground as Mark's dad was on top of him giving him dirty blows and unclean slaps. Ah! I had never been so happy...

It didn't take long before our neighbors separated them. But not before dad had "chop enough blow"

Mum was not home, I wished mum was around to see someone revenge a little for her. As soon as they were separated, mum walked in. Not sure what was happening but she saw blood on her beloved husband's face . Then she asked him what the problem was, but instead of getting an answer from him, she got a hot slap. mum hurriedly went inside as she didn't want to to be humiliated before everyone. As she went inside, I could hear mum begin to ask her self if she did wrong by trying to find out what happened. As she spoke, she began to cry and say her God would judge my dad. Too bad for her, he heard that part, and he was not so pleased with it then he began to beat her. Let your God come and judge me, dad said, as be continued to beat mum. I could not bear seeing him beat mum anymore, so I went and held him. I held him as tightly as I could but he simply threw me

off, leaving me with a hurt back as he continued to practice on mum's body after he had failed to land a single blow on Mark's dad. When I think about it now, my mum was the scape goat on that day. She should have stayed a little while more before she returned. But How could she know?

My mum is the bravest and the most strongest woman in the world. A lot of times, she had thought about leaving. And honestly, I wish she had left and with me of course, but she didn't. She chose to stay.

When people tell fond stories about their fathers, I only have this and more to say about him...

You remember when I stated that if you are not ready to accept nonsense you should not get married because women are full of nonsense and men even more nonsensical? That statement can be said to be very true. But what's not true was when I said my mum and dad were not ready to get married. well, maybe my dad was not ready. He was more than a thousand bag of nonsense and could not take a Kobo of nonsense. My mum on the other hand, was not devoid of nonsense, however, she was very patient, very ready and willing to take any amount of nonsense, be they in a thousand bags.

I wish I had a good story to share about my dad but unfortunately, I have quite non.

The only story I can share about my dad is about how much he hated my mum and I, and how he had made me grow up with nothing but hate for him.

After the fight between Mark's dad and my dad, or perhaps more appropriately, the lesson Mark's dad thought my dad, Mark's dad was still furious. I could not understand why that was the case. A while ago, my dad almost got his finger into the man's eyes but he spoke no word. moments later, he was full of strength and furry. Mark's dad could not control himself anymore and he began to yell. Can you imagine this man, he had the guts to slap my wife. Did she in any way look like his wife? he questioned, rhetorically, before he continued. See, I can take ten, twenty or even fifty slaps from anyone. But I can not take a finger touch on my wife by any one, be you who, he added.

Hearing those words from Mark's dad, my love and admiration for him began to grow just as my envy and jealously for Mark grew.

Trust my mum, as Soon as she heard those words, she began to laugh mischievously. Hmmmmmmm! hehehehehehehe, hahahahaha, oya na! People who know what it means to have a wife, not people who get beaten by their fellow men outside but come back inside and turn their wives into punching bags, my mum concluded. Dad didn't utter a word. The next thing he would do was to get up and pounce on mum, but so far, he hasn't. What's wrong? what's changed? I continued to wonder. But mum wasn't done talking. apparently she was catching her breath. As she began to talk again, I quietly moved closer to her and begged her to stop talking. I was scared dad would soon pounce on her. Mum was probably used to the beating but I was never going to get used to see my dad beat her. Even as I begged mum to stop talking, she wouldn't. instead, I gave her more reasons to talk. Mummy please na, don't talk again so he won't beat you, I whispered to my mum so dad would not hear. Daddy, my mum referring to me. Don't mind him . Let him come and beat me, after all, it is all he knows how to do aside being shameless, wicked and a womaniser. Although I had whispered to my mum's ear to stop talking, her response was louder than she sounded before I whispered to her. Dad could hear her loud and clear but didn't move a muscle. I was still scared for mum, but she didn't seem scared at all. She would not stop lamenting. As soon as dad turned to our direction, I began to cry. Then he came straight at us, by that time, I cried even louder as he came closer. But dad just took his keys and left the house without saying a word nor laying a hand on mum.

Dad didn't return that night. by morning, mum's phone rang, I was not sure who had called but mum was in a hurry. She didn't even have a bath. She carried me, locked the door and hurriedly went outside and continued to say " Jesus take control, Jesus take control, Jesus take control" before I knew what was going on, we were at the hospital. Dad was involved in an accident and was battling to stay alive. When mum and I got there, he was in a very critical condition. After seeing him for few minutes, the doctor told us we had to leave the room. But just then, dad opened his eyes and asked the doctor to let us stay. He began to apologise to mum. in response, mum said he should apologise to God and me because all she needed was for her and her son to be loved and treated right be her husband. Dad promised to turn a new leaf and I could tell mum was happy. Things were about to change for the better. Maybe dad was going to start acting like Mark's dad. I really looked forward to that, but dad never returned home as he died few days later at the hospital.