What I didn't know

There are many things I want to say, my mind is racing with different thought, many emotions and mixed feelings. There are many plans I want to achieve, many wishes I dream of and many ideas I have to create.

I never knew life could be so though, and confusing sometimes I'm trying to be independent, but it's crazy and difficult too. I never really thought I could grow so quickly and my mindset will be mature.

I've always heard that life is though and to be honest it's the Truth

Since I was a little girl, i've always been dependent on my mum for everything down to a biro! I've always asked for her permission and opinions before going ahead to do anything or achieve a goal. And if she doesn't approve of it, I wouldn't dare do it. My mum controlled my activities and movements, slowly I turned into an "Extreme introvert" (if there's a word like that).

I couldn't do anything on my own, I barely went out and I only left the house if I'm going for church activities and programmes. Fun fact, I have few friends and I met them all in high school. I didn't know what the outside world looks like, I had no clue about friendships, work,Relationship, and life in general. I was always stuck at home reading books, writing stories and gisting with my siblings.

I recall during the lockdown in 2020, I stayed at home all day long, all nights for 8months till I stàrted my baking class and baptisimal classes. It was during these times I went out and visited people. I didn't know how to communicate properly even among my peers, church members and family members too.

I had no clue, I was living as if I wasn't living, I couldn't dress properly, I couldn't shop for myself. I couldn't even make decisions. I was always unsecure about things. Public speaking and self criticism was my biggest weakeness

I wish I went out more often,visited the parks and museum, visited people, explore and learnt more trade. Indeed life is though when you start facing it. Currently I'm trying to live according to my own rules, make my own decisions and try to be independent.

Now adays, I study and try to bring the best of ideas that can help me achieve my dreams. I'm trying to be mature with my thoughts,I'm trying to adapt to changes, I'm trying to make new friends and meet new faces, I'm trying to earn money for myself, I'm learning how to buy clothes and stuff that fits my body. I'm learning how to buy skincare products that suits my skin and skin tone and of all I'm learning how to cook different meals!. I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm elvoving..

I'm so pleased with my growth, I'm proud of how I'm changing the little things and narratives, before now I could stay indoors for a whole day, weeks months without doing anything but rather sleeping and reading. But now I prefer staying at home, studying and going out too.

But the gist is, life is though for me, while I'm trying to build my self as a woman, it gets more though day by day, I feel as though i never lived all my life, I feel as if I had been locked up in an oven or a dark cage.

I joined organizations for the first time in my entire life, and now I'm a volunteer to 2 organizations, I'm proud of this. I'm happy I could take a bold step out of my comfort zone to do some work for Free. Now I can meet new people and explore. I'm trying to make my own decisions and choices that will affect my life from now on.

I've learnt many lessons, I've had many experiences, I'm not saying I was upset that I didn't go out before, but all I'm saying is, I Regret not Living, but I believe all are experiences. I just wished I made decision and done part time job.

My adivice to parent and guidan that would come across this article: Help your child or ward make decisions but allow your child to decide and make the choices he /she wants. Just guide and direct them

Help them explore, involve them in learning trades that there love and the trade that will help them earn cash.

Teach your child or ward how life works, or tell them stories and experience that will make them understand; because a growing child needs to know how life works early.

And again, take your child or ward to the market and let them make the choice of foot wears there want and also allow them pick the clothes there want. But if there go for revealing clothes then you can come in. Stop picking colours of outfit you like for your children when there like another colour( if there like the pink polo and you like the yellow one , please pick the pink one for them)

I'm saying all of these bacause as a growing child, I barely did anything on my own. i started buying clothes for myself when I was 19 years old and now I'm still learning how to buy what fit my sweet body. Up till now, I show my mum my outfits before going out, if she says it's nice then I'm going but when she says it's bad, then I'll change.

Now my mum is tired of me showing her my outfits everytime, she's begging me to learn and I'm trying to change. She forgot how she picked my outfit every time and even when I wanted to wear something else she wouldn't accept, lol. But her choices were always nice. Now I'm used to her picking outfits for me. Now she compares me to my age mate, and tells me to learn how to be a woman, lol,.

But I'm proud I'm changing, and helping my self with my change of mindset. I'm learning how life works now, and also learning how to manage my finance.

I'm grateful for myself and only hope that life shouldn't show me shege, even though it wants to, it should be small and not premium shege.

What are your life experiences?,

Is life rough for you?

Are there advices for me?

Please, let me know in the comment section👇