More Than Blues Series Review
***Disclaimer:*** everything here is just fictional. This article story was inspired by "**More Then Blues.**" Chinese series. This series makes me cry for a whole day :) and now, I'm regretting that I watched this because my emotions can't hold it.
"**Honey, do you want me to buy you something?**" I asked him while I'm looking for my bag. He didn't answer so I went to the sofa and I saw that he was busy chatting. "**Who are you chatting for?**" I asked. He suddenly put down his phone and looked at me, "**Are you asking me something?**" he asked. I suddenly felt heavy, because he's been like that for two weeks and he's kinda cold.
I didn't answer right away, I could see from him that he was nervous but I just ignored it. I didn't answer him and nor even saying bye because of the actions I saw. *Why did he suddenly put down his phone? Is he hiding something?* Because of what happened, I thought of calling one of my friends to meet at the cafe so that I can tell her what happened. I didn't go to the grocery store anymore, I just wandered around to calm down somehow.
"**Hey girl, are you alright? You seem like you're distracted because I've been calling you for a while**." I suddenly turned to the person who spoke and my back, I just give her a smile and offer a sit.
"**These last few days, I noticed my partner's coldness when it comes to our relationship. I don't know if I did something wrong, for his actions to be like that.**" my statement She just looked at me like she wasn't sure, "**Girl, maybe you're just tired that's why you're noticing something. There's no way he'll get tired of you because your relationship is healthy.**" She answered.
Hold on, let me share share what I think about this after watching it since there's nothing inside my head.
I just realized that it hurts so much when you don't know that the person you are always with and always sympathizes with is sick. Especially when you do everything for him even if it hurts you in the end. You'll ask for a favor and even if you like him, you'll ignore him because you want that person to be free
*Sometimes, nothing will really hurt and suffer more than the part that we do everything to heal. But yeah, they say cancer has no cure so we really don't have a chance. What we already know but we have no chance to say it that we have an idea, what we already know but we would prefer to keep quiet because it is also painful for our side.*
Final thoughts.
I don't want this kind of thing, I can't help but cry because I see my friend. His 4th death anniversary will be next month. it's still a dream to me that he's gone already. I still can't really accept it.
Curiosity Kills You.
I haven't been able to sleep for days, something is bothering me that I don't know what. I don't know, there seems to be no answer. Here I am, awake for some unknown reason. Looking for answers to messy things, what? Why?
***Trying to find answers in everything*** I'm curious about. When i was a child i kept thinking what's the purpose why we're alive? Do i have the mission to finish? Or i have to help people those in need? I kept asking my parents about it.
My mom said "*sweety all your questions will be answered one day"* and when i asked when that day is coming she said "***~~**the day you become an adult**~~***".
Now i understand what she meant that day, i simply have to live my life to the fullest.
They say curiousity kills the cat. Don't try to involve yourself to your curiosity. But people tends to know the truth and unfold their curiousity. We won't stop until it gets really dangerous for us to keep investigating what we really curious about.
There's many things we're curious about, right? Well one of those curiousity is the curiousity to know what people thinks and do and how can they do that and how people live. It seems like are curiosity is endless it keeps on going and going
***Remember*** those times you were curious about how they did those things you see and amazed at how beautiful and powerful their creation was. A simple things make you curious but don't engaged yourself towards something that seems dangerous, stop while you're not involved with it yet.
And if you like to involve yourself with curiosity and unfolds the truth well we have jobs that suitable for you like police, investigators, and many more jobs that you can work. Like scientist who discovers different micro organisms and different herbal and find out the root to all their problems using science. Curiousity is good sometimes when you used it to find the things you wanted and cure.
Or curiousity about finding lost treasures where they buried and the history of all those things and what happened. In all movies they have curiosity that they follow and unfolds that later on bring them luck.
Curiosity is a strong desire to know the things that attract your attentions.
I remember when I was curious to know about the story of a mother who have a chold die days ago, I kept asking her and I didn't know that it was hurtful since they are not expecting her child to suicide. At that time, I was really curious about what was happening to others as well as their lives. But when I grew up, I suddenly learned to give space instead because it's more important.
By the way, it's late already to publish this since my publishing time is around 5:30pm.
But hope everyone is doing alright, I love u all!
I Am Worried, But I Can't Say A Word: I finally joined HIVE!.
She is the type of person who does not open up if she is feeling or going through something. I can't even ask, because I know she will be upset once I ask her something. I can't tell her that I understand their language, I can't tell her what she's going through and I can't tell her that I know what she's feeling. What I can do, is to hug her and make her feel that I'm here by her side, that I won't leave her.
All I could do was smile, and hug her tightly as she snuggled around my neck. The only thing I can do is to hug her tight and make sure to her that I will not give any stress that can give her a headache or anything.
When I met her, she's the type where she's not opening up to me everything that was happening to her. She loves keeping it to herself, saying nothing, no words or anything. Sometimes she will say what she feels but only once. I can't tell her that with every smile she shows, I can see her true emotions. I was so proud because she's too brave to face everything, she often laughs when she's going through something. She's not a kind of person who becomes negative when there is a problem, and the way on how she was dealing with her problem is very *contagious*.
Do you know what is the type when she's dealing with those problems? You can't see that she's worried. She's the most happy person that I've ever met. I cannot tell her that, "**Baby, I know there's something going on with you.**", I can't do it. As her partner, and as my partner, what I can do is to stay at her side no matter how bad the reality is. Now, I don't have work. I can't give her anything because I'm short too. What I can do, is to pretend that everything was still okay even if I had to pay something. I need to stay positive and believe that this one will pass and this one will not be happening again. I'm trusting God, I know that he is right next to us and I know that all of this was happening because there's a reason.
But no matter how hard the world is, and how hard things are, I will continue to believe and trust. I will continue to rise and I will continue to fight. I know, this time I stumbled because of being stressed and disappointed just because I had to leave my work. But I know that, I cannot choose anything over my health since health is very important.
I JOINED HIVE.
I already joined hive! Ayane chan invited me and I saw some from readcash that was on hive also. At first, I was very hesitant to join because they said, Hive is a different level of blogging and the staff is active. They said they were strict, but at the same time, I was nervous and excited because I will experience new things again.
I'm excited to meet more people, to become friends just because of writing. I'm still at the progress and I am hoping that my knowledge will increase even more. I'm still looking forward to having my own book, I know it's impossible but I don't have any dreams more than that. I want to share everything on my life, especially on how I am dealing with things that no one on me around.
by the way, I'm plugging my hive article here! thank you so much!
https://peakd.com/hive-188409/@gyrag/officialgamboalikeus-finally-arrives-on-hive
The Story Of Me, And My Boardmate: How I lost my patience.
So while I was reading articles earlier, I saw @Mayiee ' s article titled "*Do I Have A Long Patience or I Just Control It*." So I decided to share one of my story when I have this board mate of mine who didn't care about her surroundings. Whenever I remember this, it can't help but to get me pissed.
**Wanna know the reason why?** *Read this until the end.*
So story time, please bare with me.
So before the pandemic, I was actually working as an agent before. So what happened is, I boarded at Bolilao where it was 2 rides away from where I work. I am a kind person, a lot of you know how kind I am not until someone will abuse me. Excuse me, we Ilongga people are also fighting even though many people said that we are too sweet. I don't like noisy surroundings, especially when I'm tired because I'm working. So one day, the owner of the boarding house came and told me that someone was also renting. She said that it was a girl, so in my mind, it's fine at least I don't need to pay a lot just for one room with a common cr and kitchen.
Time passed, someone knocked the door and I was just, "*Oh good, she's here already*." When I opened the door, I though she was a lesbian first because her haircut was for men. She didn't say anything, she didn't wait for me to speak like, "*Come in*." Suddenly she came in and asked me, "**So where's the room**?".
I just looked at her, then pointed to the closed door. Actually, the house has 3 rooms and one room upstairs which I am the only one who rents. So he entered, without saying a word. She didn't even bother to say Hi, or like to ask for a name. So I just ignore it like it's okay, *it doesn't hurt the mood right?* At that time, I had duty so of course I was not at home. The next morning, I feel so really tired because I did a lot of work and fixed computer cables. My duty on that day is around 8pm to 5am to expect that I really need to fall asleep since I feel so tired. When I came home, ***everything was a mess.*** The table was not cleaned, she didn't even wash her plates.
So I was really tired at that time, I didn't pay attention to all the things scattered on the table because for me, maybe she was tired and she just needed some rest. And I go to the room, then fell asleep. By the way, visitors are allowed inside the house.
Around 1pm I woke up, there was a lot of noise in the kitchen and the loud laughter. I was a bit annoyed, though. I can't complain since I'm just a boarder too. I went out, I saw her talking to someone and there were three of them. I just saw all the frozen food I bought, and they were eating crackers. I was a little upset because they didn't let me know. she didn't even say hello, she didn't even ask me how I was. she just looked at me and ignored me, at that time I just told myself, "**Calm down self, if she ever stays like this it's up to her.**"
When I left, I told her to clean up her mess. She just answered me yes, when I got home it was still a mess. Everything was still on the kitchen and she was sleeping peacefully. What annoyed me the most is, they used up all the frozen food and didn't even have a piece left. And her undergarments are just on the floor, not even fixed.
I let everything go for a few days, before I go to sleep I eat breakfast first so that I don't get hungry. But the thing is, I cook for her, I even leave a dish so that she can eat. But she's not a kind of person where she will say thank you. ***One week passed, nothing changed.*** It was Saturday morning, I had no duty and I was just going home. All trash are on the tiles, and she didn't even think to pick it up. What I did, I packed all of her clothes and put them at the door. I already told the owner about it, and the owner told me to take care of it.
He even scolded me for what I did, and I also scolded him for what he was doing. I told her, I was telling you to pick up everything and to clear up your mess but you always left it to me knowing that I have a job. I was so angry, even those who were on the first floor also looked at what was happening upstairs. They are too stunned to speak, and I just told her that if she doesn't leave, I will burn all her things. I even told her that I will give back the money that she paid in advance. Since I don't want anybody to give me too much stress.
I threw the money in front of her, she didn't react after all. she just picked it up, and she also took her things with her.
After that, I choose to have a solo room only because of what happened. That was too much stressed already and really made my head so hot so I'm sorry about what I did. ***She deserves it though.***
Final thoughts
Thank you for reading huehue, until now I really hate to be with someone who's so messy around.
Leaving Doesn't Mean I Don't Want To Stay: "Health Is The Greatest Wealth."
There are many reasons why we choose to leave, things we don't want to answer because no one will listen. **Are we leaving because we don't want to?** *Wrong*. **Are we leaving because we found another job?** *Wrong*. **Are we going to leave because we are already struggling?** *Wrong*. And **we leaving because something is wrong?** That's *right*. **Health**? *~~**Yes**~~*.
You know, working on BPO is not that easy. Sometimes, we might experience being anemic because of staying up late and sleeping in the morning. Or worst, we cannot sleep at all. Our body clock is different every night, and our body clock is also different every morning. When we stay up at night, everything becomes super unbalanced, and sometimes that is the reason why there are so many girls who were struggling to have their periods. That is due to lack of sleep, and wrong time of sleeping.
Especially to mothers who work in BPO who were struggling to maintain their time nor to balance everything. To the students who cannot maintain their time, because in the morning they are studying and every night they are working. Therefore, the ****coaches and learning specialist**** should be considerate that not everyone can rest every morning.
The strength of the human body is different, there are people who can't sleep for how many days, they can do without sleep and there are people who can't because their body gives out, just like me. But, but, but, staying up all night causes too many problems that greatly affect a person's health. But the only problem is, they often compare what they can do to a person. They often say, I can handle it, why can't you handle it? Shh, be quiet. That is so wrong, very wrong. ***You cannot compare yourself*** to the one who you were talking to just because you can stay up late, ***you cannot compare everything*** to the things that you can do just because you can do them.
*My health is very affected since I start staying up late, I have been on night shift at BPO for three months but my body is still giving up. Until my hairfall got worse and worse, and I became too prone to illnesses like fever, cold, and cough.*
"Leaving Doesn't Mean I Don't Want To Stay"
It means...
*Peace*
*Freedom*
*Own choice.*
****Peace****
Whenever we leave the things we have right now, especially when it's just a headache, we find **PEACE**. It's like they say, "*Let go*.", because it includes **FREEDOM**, and **OWN CHOICES** called.
We find our own peace, especially when we come to the point where we learn to choose our own preferences, especially what our emotions are screaming for. You earn a lot, have many benefits, and many incentives. But, your health was suffering just because you were thinking, what I mentioned would be a waste if you resign.
*Me*, I resigned not just because of my health. As they say, health is our greatest wealth. If you are not healthy, what about wealth? You will not reach anything if your health was already suffering. Maybe, the time will come when you will suddenly regret it because you didn't value your health while it was still early.
*Me*, I regretted a lot because I didn't take care of myself when everything was fine. I just abused my health since for me, I'm still young and I can still change my life style. But I was wrong, when I had surgery everything changed. It became hard for me since there was so much that was forbidden to eat, so much that I had to avoid. But still, that lesson was too big for me **because if it didn't happen, maybe I didn't learn something about it that was very important.**
Final Thoughts
Sometimes, we can realize something when it's too late. And that realization will bring a huge lesson. Maybe I feel sorry because of that, but I'm still thankful because God let me live again for a 2nd chance. And this time, what happened is, I realized that my health is more important than anything else. ***I hope, this article brings a lesson to everyone who's reading it. Have a nice day!***
Be Careful, Someone Is Waiting For Your Downfall.
*Envy*, *envy*, *envy*. That's what most people feel when they see you rise in life. Like when you achieve something, or when you prove something. They don't want to see you beat them, they don't want to see you reach anything. *What they want is for you to go deeper and* ***reach nothing***, in our lives, people who have no other desire than to knock each of us down are inevitable. That there is no other desire but to see that we are suffering, most of them right? We cannot say we're perfect because I know most of us to judge someone before knowing the whole story.
Sometimes in my life, I have nothing to do but judge someone too but everything's changed when I know how it feels. I just said to myself, that instead of judging them why don't I listen first? Nothing is lost if we listen. That's why there is a saying, "**Listen to the voice around you before it becomes voiceless.**" which is super true right? Just like the people we support. If we see that their performance is so good, etc, don't we like them even more? But whenever they made some incorrect choices, we forget how they make us happy even in a single thing. So sometimes, instead of listening to their stories, we believe more in speculations.
It's also very unfair on their part like that, because we ourselves will push them in their downfall which is super wrong. Except that we saw something that was really wrong with them and that is the main reason why we are bashing them, right? Like us, they are also human. Like them, we are also human. We make mistakes after choosing the right decision for us, ***how about those who are the same as us?***
It's just like the people at your job, ***when you're a newbie they look down on you.*** They just want to trample on the character you have, right? You are often judged because you're just a newbie and knew nothing. You're just a beginner and knew nothing also, you're still adjusting and there are times that instead of helping you they will judge you because you cannot do such things like they do.
But once they see that you have *****potential*****, aren't they treating you so well? Not until, one of your workmates, schoolmates, or etc is jealous just because of your good process. And that's when they will begin to slander you, and when they see that you are not affected, they despise you even more. ***They are more jealous and angry because of the beautiful process you have,*** that's why be careful with the people you meet. Not everyone treats you as a friend, not at work, not at school. You can't say that the person next to you is betraying you right now, because you might not know, before it sticks to you, they already planned it.
*Everyone changes, especially if they see that you are capable, and have potential. Those who were your enemies, are now your friends. Those people who judged you before, are now one your fans.*
***~~**Be careful, someone is waiting for your downfall.**~~***
Final Thoughts
This article is dedicated for one of my workmates and a friend of mine. There are people who really envy you noh? Ung mas pag nakita nila na umaangat ka, mas naiinggit. Ung kaibigan mo noon, kaaway mo na ngayon at ung kaaway mo noon ay kaibigan mo na ngayon. Walang magagawa, ganyan talaga.
My Story On How My Ovarian Cyst Started, And What I Go Through After Surgery.
The rest of you are probably not aware that I had surgery because my left ovary had to be removed. I will retell the story of how my life turned out when I had to make choices in my life, in all the decisions, I **failed** to save my health when I was fine. I will make the important words italic and bold so that everyone will saw the sign of it.
Which is the decision you regret the most?
I neglected my health. Because to be honest, I feel so guilty about myself these days. I neglected myself so much because I should have taken care of myself before. Because since my surgery, my body is different and not like before.
A Story to tell.
I wrote an article one year ago about the operation and the rest of you gave a donation which is super helpful since it covered our other lack for medicine and other things I needed. 2016, when I found out I had an Ovarian Cyst. At first, it wasn't me who noticed but my classmate. I was thin during these times, not fat and not thin either. One of my classmates told me that I was getting fatter and fatter, at that time I knew something was wrong with me because my period also came a little late. I told him that maybe he just thought it was because my uniform was big, so we just ignored it. Not until, when I was in grade 10. When I was in grade, my period didn't come for almost 1 year. Of course I just let it go because I thought, that's fine, I don't have a problem. Until I experienced ***abdominal pain***, the pain even when you don't have a period.
I remembered, this day was very memorable for me. When it happened, we visited the cemetery to fix my grandmother's grave because we were going to change our flower plants because the others had died. While I was doing that, I felt a super pain in my abdomen but I didn't pay attention. Until less than a few minutes later, it hurt more and my vision started to darken. I lost consciousness this time, I didn't know anything about what was happening around me. I just woke up and I was at home, they asked me what the problem was and then I told them everything.
This is where they decided to check me up, when I checked up, it was seen on the ultrasound that I have a cyst and the size is about **4cm**. I was given medicine to make my period come again, and when it came I thought that the cyst would also disappear if I continued to menstruate. But here I was wrong, I became bloated, gained a lot of weight and almost never had my periods. After a few years, I didn't check up. I stopped my medicine because it was too expensive and I couldn't afford it.
When I met my partner last year, and said I told her everything. I was still very scared, because of my mindset and she won't accept me and she won't love me but I was wrong. she is the one who encouraged me, she is also the one who pushed me to have surgery. So I thought again and again, how lucky I was that this person came. Helped me with everything, and never left me alone. Because if it was different, I might have been left.
When I was operated on, the cyst was 15cm. They had to take out my left ovary because the cyst had eaten it, and it gave birth too. Because of what happened, I realized. I realized that what I did to myself was so wrong, that it shouldn't be. I couldn't do anything but accept the truth, accept that it was also my fault why that happened to me. Because if I had realized it at the beginning, the result might not be like this.
It was very difficult to undergo surgery, since I was operated on, I am not as strong as before. I am also very prone to the flu. Back then, I could stay up even if I only slept for one or two hours, now it's not like that anymore. So I have no choice but to let go of my job, to choose my health. Because of what happened then, I can no longer sacrifice my health for my wants.
***I know that people around me don't understand this, especially at work and only a few do, so it's okay with me even if they make up a story that I'm leaving because of this and that reason. It's up to them, I don't want to explain because it's a waste of my time for closed minded people.***
Final Thoughts
So to those who don't listen to that and feel something in their body, don't say you want to die. Because when you are on the verge of death, you will ask to live even more.
What's this questions mean to you? let's get to know each other one more time!
It's too late for me to think of a topic because it's already 5 in the afternoon, so what I did was to look for random topic generators that I can generate questions and answers to answer with my own opinion. Unexpectedly, I also found a generator that is my bet because the questions that appear for me are funny.
**Here's the link for the questions!**
https://www.coolgenerator.com/random-topic-generator
Enjoy!
Do You Like Chocolate?
Yes! Who doesn't like chocolates? Chocolate is also a good stress reliever, especially if you are tired or very depressed. It's not that chocolates are fattening or what, if you have a sweet tooth you know what I mean. Because for those of us who have a sweet tooth and food lovers, what we eat is no longer important. But for those with a sweet tooth like me, we really prefer to eat chocolate especially and it becomes our food comforter.
What's one thing you'd like to do but haven't done yet?
***Finish an entire movie without fast-forwarding.*** I'm the kind of person who quickly gets bored with what I'm watching and doing something else, I want it to end right away or else I won't be able to do it and finish it. That's always, when I watch I don't want anything that isn't fast forward. Especially when it's too boring for me. Sometimes, when my partner watches with me. She always said that I was always in a hurry to finish what I was watching even though I didn't understand it.
It's very true, because I really don't want to watch boring things in my eyes, I want it to end immediately and I want it to be over. But, when I'm about to finish what I'm watching, I'm just like, "***Oh wait this movie is good, lemme repeat it from the start***." so I end up repeating it haha.
Do you usually learn from your failures or do you keep repeating them?
I won't repeat it again, once I've made a failure especially if it's too much of a lesson. I'm taking it as a lesson not to repeat it, because it's very bad if you learned a lesson but you keep repeating it. it's like, you're just fooling yourself to the same reason and nothing more.
Think about it, example you're just a kid who got scold by your mother because of being naughty, that's what life also is. Life scolding us without our idea by having lessons on it. For that, we might not repeat it again.
Final thoughts
The weather now was too cold, it's the first time that I've experienced this kind of cold weather eversince I got here to Baguio. My partner told me that there are still too cold than to this one.
By the way, that's the only question that I found interesting. There's are still many but my net was kinda slow since it's raining and I cannot stay outside for too long.
By the way, I'm done renewing some of the sponsorship! I just noticed that I'm takjng too long to reply to the comments section. Have a great day everyone!
I Wish This Problem Of Mine Can Just Fade Of.
I am doing this right now, actually I don't feel really good when it comes to my own thoughts just like thinking about things in this world. It only started when I left work, so many problems came to my mind and I didn't know where to start and where to leave. I don't tell my partner, that lately I've been having anxiety attacks because I don't want her to worry even though I know that's where my secret is going. Now I hope I don't have an article because I really want to sleep but I can't because I have to earn money. I need to be strong even for a moment, I need to pursue until I finish this.
With so many things troubling my mind, I don't know if this is right or wrong. I feel so useless, I feel so useless about things. I knew it was wrong, that it was so wrong to think like this but I couldn't stop it. There isn't a time, and a day that I don't ask myself if this is still right. I don't want to add to my partner's problems and expenses, I don't want to be a burden on my family. I often think, where am I going to get funding for everything? How do I tell my partner that I want to give up? How can I face her again with a smile on my lips? That I laugh without thinking? Because when I act, I feel that my act is very wrong.
I want to cry and tell her that I'm very lucky, I'm very lucky that despite the weight of my feelings and despite things, she's still there. She treats me like a baby when she knows I'm not okay, she pretends to be a baby himself every time he knows I'm not feeling well.
When she notices something that is not right in my behavior, she hugs me tightly and always asks how I am. She will ask me different questions that you think she is an investigator, so that she knows that I am okay and that I am not hiding anything. Sometimes I laugh at myself, in the motivational articles that I do to inspire others, it turns out that I am down despite everything. I'm the one who's losing hope, I'm the one who's struggling to stand up.
I feel like my article is too dramatic today, sorry I just vented out. It's very hard on my side, especially since I don't know what to do to start again, because since I started working, all my money and savings have been used for expenses everyday.
I hope that when this month ends, I will slowly be able to stand up again. Slowly I can start again and slowly I try again. It's funny that somehow, even when I'm down and confused about everything, I still manage to smile and be okay. I am about to enter hive, I hope that when I enter hive, it will also be one of those who will help me. I have too many goals and wishes this month, but then again. I will prioritize the things I need to spend and the things I need to pay so that I can somehow help. Because nowadays, especially if you don't have a job, it is very difficult to earn. I don't want to leave my job, but my health can't handle it and I'm very anemic.
I will not ask for too much, but to be successful and have a good future. Right now, I don't feel okay. But time will come, everything will be fine. I can laugh without a problem, I can smile without thinking, and most of all, I will be happy without forcing it. Right now, I'm focusing on my self improvement, especially being strong in the middle of the crisis.
Final Thoughts
The joy will come back to me, not yet but I hope so. I don't want to be negative. It's true that sometimes I was negative about everything, it's true that I cried once. It's true that sometimes I don't feel like I'm okay, right now the only thing I can do is help myself to be positive about everything. Aja!
“Does Life Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?”
We often think that we are so stupid whenever we cannot choose something in our life that we can be happy, but there is something in return that you will not like. Or we can choose the pleasure of others, and in the end, there is regret attached. Sometimes you will wonder if the decision you have made is right, and why you have to sacrifice your happiness for the happiness of others. Why do we still have to choose in our lives, and we can’t just do it like this?
The kind where you insist on explaining even though you know they won’t understand, that they won’t understand anything. The type where you insist on telling your side, even though you know it’s unlikely that they will understand because ***we have different points of view.***
Especially if you dream big enough, like you are so sure that you will achieve that kind of dream but in the end you didn’t . It’s doesn’t mean that you fail, it’s just not for you or maybe it’s still not your time. If life makes you feel stupid sometimes, that’s okay.
Especially when you choose choices, or you choose decisions that are in line with your wishes. When everything is fine, then suddenly something happens that you don't like. Just in that part, you will start asking why the world makes you feel so stupid. Why is your request so simple, but because of its simplicity, you still can't give it and carry it out. When you feel like you're stupid, it doesn't mean you're really stupid. Sometimes we can only feel that because of **fear**, **insecurities**, and **failing,** and we really come to a point in our lives where we can't help but think and feel like this. The world has no sin, the world has nothing to do with our feelings. It's just that, sometimes we can't understand why the world makes us feel this way.
But I will repeat, the world knows nothing about our feelings, it has no idea about what we feel with our emotions. We feel it about what we notice in our environment, or about the things we have around us. Just like, when your partner hurts you or one of your loved ones cheats on you, ***don't you blame the world?*** We will say that the world is joking and playful. Well, that's where we're so wrong.
Why should we blame the world? Yes, sometimes we feel that everything is very unfair, that things in the world are very unfair. But, that doesn't mean you're stupid. Sometimes what we feel like this, is ****what pushes us to find and see the answer to our own questions.****
Sometimes other people make us feel stupid. It's so annoying that we try to do our best to make ourselves feel better, but in the end, nothing else happens but they make us feel really stupid.
But if you really feel that the world makes you feel stupid,
***Always look at the positive side.***
If you feel like the world is playing tricks on you, always think that you are on the right path. Sometimes, that's why we experience things that are not in line with our feelings because of what we think.
Don't let sadness swallow you, don't let the thoughts you have swallow you either.
And above all, take everything you experience and extract it as a challenge in your life.
Believe in yourself that you can do it, because there is something that you need to learn and to overcome. That you have something to prove and to show them that you're not the kind of person who will bring your self down all of sudden.
Final thoughts
HAPPY BUWAN NG WIKA SA LAHAT! I want to write an articlw with tagalog version but seems I can't do it. my brain was empty whenever I'm trying to write some.
Keep On Dreaming, One Day You'll See: My Blogging Journey.
Dream, when we say dream that is the thing that we want to reach and fulfill. Things we want to do and take place. But, the pursuit of a dream always comes with hardship. Pursuing a dream, sometimes it comes late, sometimes it comes early. But, what is the dream for people like us?
When I was still a child, I loved to read books and stuff. Sometimes I like to steal a book from the library and take it home. A child like me, who loves books even sometimes I don't understand what I'm reading. I started to dream because of the books I was reading, I always thought that one day I would become a full-fledged writer. In my dream of becoming a writer, people around me often tell me that I won't get anything, I won't reach anything and I won't get anything from being a writer. They often say, that there is no point in being a writer because you need a lot of readers, and someone needs to buy your books.
But they are wrong, they are very wrong in the things they said and mentioned. I started writing in my notebooks, things that can motivate someone, and something. I started searching the playstores where I could share everything, until I came across ***HaikuJam***.
haikujam is an application where all poetry lovers are there. Because of that, I learned more and learned something. That's where I express my feelings through poetry, that's where I spend my time, especially when I'm not doing anything. I learned to socialize, I also learned to talk because of that.
It was already in my mind during those days, it was my decision to join the poetry reciters and I was not wrong. I even became first runner up in grade 9, but all that was just a short-term pleasure. I suddenly lost my appetite for everything, until I started typing something on the laptop. I started to write stories, and express my feelings. I even had a diary that I always carried with me everywhere.
Year 2020. The day when I Found Readcash.
I'm still very doubtful that what laurencuu says about writing might be a scam, I tried and I earned at least a little. In those days and times, points were still being used here in readcash and rusty was not there yet. I had my first account here, but for the wrong work and it was blocked by read.cash. Because I like to copy paste at that time haha
Until my writing skills improved, from newbie, to now. Haha I'm still learning so we all stayed as newbies of course, no pro and no rookie just only newbie. The longer I spent at readcash, I learned to socialize and be friendly with other authors. More fun in that part, is that I help those who want to try without asking for anything in return.
Until now I still continue with my dream, my dream is to have my own book titled, "**Don't Give Up In Life**.", I want to give motivation for people like me who are struggling in life. I want to give motivation for people who think of giving up sometimes. I want them to know, that with little achievements, it is a big change in life.
OfficialGamboalikeUs2020-2022
More power to readcash family!
The Words of the Heart: unsaid thoughts.
We have words that we cannot say ourselves, but our heart can say. Words that other people don't understand, but our feelings understand. But, our heart can never explain what it really wants to convey because it has its own languages that only we ourselves understand. Just like the person who wants to break up with us, but we can't let them go because our thoughts and feelings don't want to be united. Our thoughts and feelings don't want to accept the reality that someone doesn't want to be with us anymore, or maybe ***they don't want to accept us back into their lives.***
We have words that we cannot say ourselves, but our heart can say. Words that other people don't understand, but our feelings understand. But, our heart can never explain what it really wants to convey because it has its own languages that only we ourselves understand. Just like the person who wants to break up with us, but we can't let them go because our thoughts and feelings don't want to be united. Our thoughts and feelings don't want to accept the reality that someone doesn't want to be with us anymore, or maybe they don't want to accept us back into their lives.
Did you already experienced having this feeling that you can't say outloud? That you don't know how exactly to put it into words?
***Im sure we all had that experience***. And one more experience where it reached to the point you can't say your personal opinion, and cant even protect yourself using your words.
Some people have problems using their words and expressing their feelings, they can't say what's in their heart exactly and that confused us. What do they want to say? Because we cant understand what they wanted to say so we jump to conclusions.
Enabled to express yourself is not a good thing, they might misunderstood you.
What do you really wanna say? Well we can figure it out by looking at their eyes if they hate it,love it or they're being accused. Eyes can't lie, so instead of forcing that person to open up to you which is she can't do. Then do it smoothly and don't rush over it but try to read their eyes instead because they're having trouble understanding what they wanted to say.
"**Your eyes speak better than your mouth.**" Which is the things we cant express by saying them , is we can express it with our eyes without saying anything.
When your worried, sad,angry,happy. You dont have to say those but they will se it base on your face and eyes if you are really enjoying it. People tends to look at your eyes while speaking or telling something to know whether you're lying or stating the fact.
But sometimes some word are better be left unsaid, ***why***? Because of personal issues and somethings bothering them.
How many times have you tried to explain? How many times have you tried to speak? How many times have you tried to say what your heart says? Did you explain well? Or do you find it difficult to explain because you also know yourself what you want to convey your feelings?
Even me, I want to explain and make her understand that I'm struggling. That I don't want anymore because I'm almost giving up, but no matter what I explain, it's all my heart screaming that no one can hear. My heart is the one that has the ability to explain while crying, my heart is the one that has the ability to say everything while hurting. But I can't do anything, because even if I want to say and explain everything..it seems like I don't have a voice to shout everything.
Final Thoughts
Me, you or them, we have many unsaid thoughts that we cannot release. We have many words that we cannot say, we have many terms that we cannot explain. Because even if we explain, no one will understand us but only ourselves.
The Stream of the Danger: How I was saved in the middle of life and death situation.
So even before the danger, we already feel that we are in trouble. The kind that makes you want to leave, or else you're going somewhere. But, before you can leave, something unexpected happens. Or maybe, before you left, you were suddenly delayed or late because of some things you were asked to do.
So there are times when you feel uneasy, when you want to leave but something stops you. You don't know why you feel like you're being held back, or maybe you don't know why you feel like something doesn't want to let you go. I know we all experience this kind of thing, the kind where you're sure you're really going somewhere but you don't know why you don't want to leave or maybe there's something stopping you. The kind where you want to leave but you don't understand why you seem to be retreating, so in the end you decide not to leave.
*It's like with people we meet, there's that part of us that even if we've just met or talked to, you'll feel a very awkward feeling. You might wonder why you feel that way, right? We are all like that.*
Just like you were about to leave and go somewhere, for some unknown reason the person you were riding with suddenly had a problem with his engine and it took a few hours to fix it. And for an unknown reason, there is something insisting on you not to continue and you don't know why. So, you thought of going home. After a few hours, you suddenly receive a text saying that the hotel where you were supposed to stay has burned down. right? Suddenly everything will be clear to you why you feel that way even though you really wanted to continue on your way at that time.
Let me share my experience.
Around this evening, I have On the job training and I still live in the city. At this time, we were sent home early, now what happened is of course no one is taking me home because the place where I live is pretty empty so I really need to take a jeep. It's late, it's 11pm so there's no jeep and I don't have a jeep to ride so I have no choice but to take a tricycle. I'm a friendly person, so whichever tricycle I'm riding gets close to me because I'm noisy. Now, when I was outside and waiting for the tricycle, I suddenly felt very uneasy. You know when you suddenly don't feel comfortable?, you suddenly want to go back inside and never go home. You feel that, right?
I thought, I'll just let it go and continue because I won't gain anything if I stay on the site and do nothing. So I just walked, it was quite a long walk. It's one kilometer away because the jeep parking lot is at the cemetery, and it's already night so I have no other choice but that's it.
While I was walking, a tricycle stopped next to me. I was asked if I would ride, this is where I really felt very uneasy. I don't know why I suddenly felt fear or nervousness, because usually I have never experienced sudden nervousness once someone is approaching me. Because I was so nervous, I suddenly grabbed the hand of the male agent I saw walking that I pretended to know.
The agent was surprised at what I did, but I was shaking at that time because I was really not okay. He must have noticed so he spoke, "**Are you going to work? You didn't come in for a few days.**" Then I responded as if I knew him but my voice was shaking a little because I was nervous.
After a while he looked at the tricycle driver and asked what he needed, the driver said nothing and just sped away. When the tricycle left, I suddenly sat down, and the man asked what it was. I explained everything to him including how I felt very uneasy. So what he did, he accompanied me to get to the boarding house even though he was super late.
The next day, while I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw in the post of RMN ILOILO that they caught a tricycle driver who raped an agent that night as well. When I saw the suspect's face, it suddenly dawned on me that the reason why I felt like that last night was because something bad was going to happen.
Final Thoughts
That's why it's so important that we sometimes listen to what our guts say, because we never know when a danger will appear that could harm us.
Good evening everyone!
Do You Believe In An Afterlife? And How About Multiverse?
One of the questions people have is, "**Is the afterlife real**?", If you answer, what do you think? Maybe you can say yes; you can also say no. Why? Because the afterlife, they say, is the life after the person died. Of course, you're still alive, and we're still breathing so no one knows what the afterlife is if it's true or not. Except if you died and came back to life from the afterlife.
We people often look for answers in our lives as well, but the Bible talks about the afterlife so maybe it exists.
*The only thing is, we still didn't experience it because we are still breathing and we are still in this world. So what we can do, is to believe in the books that we read.*
So on today's article, we will talk about "**AFTERLIFE**."
They say that when you're in the afterlife, everything will be easy for you. You will no longer feel the weight of the world or the weight of your feelings. You will no longer feel how dull everything is to you; you will no longer feel sadness. Because they say that when you're in the afterlife, ***everything is easy for you.*** But why, as long as we live, we can't feel it. that thing they say about the afterlife? Why, while we breathe, we can't feel the comfort of life, as they say? Is it because we are still in the world? Is it because we are still breathing? Or because what they say is the afterlife, is there another world where there is another you?.
***None of us knows what will happen after we die. No one knows the truth.***
Whenever someone dies, a new soul is born; that could be us. We'll start our new lives as babies, and we could relearn what we learned in our past lives.
No one knew if you'd be born rich or poor, but you have one goal to achieve: live your life to the fullest enjoy things you've never done. Then life will repeat it.
Or maybe the afterlife is a place where all souls are happy, living in peace.
*But I forgot there's heaven and hell to punish those who didn't follow him...*
We just have the hypothesis that after life, whether you'll be reborn after your death or whether you'll suffer in hell or live in peace in heaven, what do you believe? To be reborn, forgetting all your past life, restart a brand new life, set goals, and achieve them. Never give up until you still can do it. Or to suffer in Hell, where you regret every sin you committed, and work in a hot place. Heaven, where you can watch and guide your loved ones to take this path.
Now let's talk about the multiverse, or what they call the parallel world. Honestly, if the multiverse or parallel world really exists, I wish the me in the other world was happy and had no problems or thoughts. May she smile and have a peaceful life. I don't know if she sometimes thinks that there might be another person who exists like her.
They said that there is something called a multiverse or perhaps a parallel world. Whoever started that, I hope it's true. I want this to be true because I will be happy to know that the other me is probably laughing and happy too. The other me is smiling and thinking nothing. Because of the world we live in, it is very difficult to live and be happy without thinking. It's so hard to smile and it's really hard to think that things are easy to overcome.
fullest andSo I hope that if the other me exists, if my other life exists... I hope that wherever she is now, she will be safe and happy.
Final thoughts
Hi! So Tonight I'm having a hard time due of back pain. I really feel how bad my back pain is and I want to cry. I can't go to work since I have a cough and a sneezy nose. I don't know what I will say to my trainer, but I hope she's not going to scold me because of my other absence since I've always been absent for many times.
So I will just end up my article here! Good evening everyone and have a great day!
I Caught Cough And Sneezy Nose.
***Disclaimer***: everything that you will see here on my article is based on my real experience as a agent to one of a company at where I am working of.
Last day, before going to work I noticed that I'm not feeling well already.
I thought my flu was temporary because I always feel like this, I didn't know that I would get worse. Last night, before I went straight to work and I went straight to where my friend was hanging out. They were smoking and drinking when I arrived.
When I arrived, I sat next to them and talked. At that time, I noticed that I don't like cigarette smoke since when we are together I don't mind the smell of alcohol and cigarettes because I don't use that kind of stuff. That's it, I complained, I told them that I'm not okay now because I'm feeling a little bad.
They told me not to go in and just go home but I thought about it because I have been absent several times and I really need to report to work because my last day is near. I said, I'm fine and I'm going in anyway. So fast forward, while I was at work, I felt that I was cold even though it was hot in the bay where I was. This is where I complained, I said that I was very cold and I felt heavy. Of course, I have to work until the end of my shift and I can't make excuses. It was in my mind that I could do it until my shift ended, around 3am, and this is when I really felt that I'm not okay anymore. Of course, in my mind, it's okay because it's only four hours until I finish work.
At first, I was easy even though I felt like I had a cold. Of course, why should I complain, no matter what I do, they won't understand? This is one of our problems, because they only listen to one person. Do you know whose? To the most beautiful girl in our campaign. It's too unfair, isn't it? I only found out when someone told a story about something like this. Even though the girl was always absent from their training, she still passed, it was a lack of performance, so how did it happen? ***Then those who are always present and active are the ones who didn't pass*** just because they didn't reach their goal performance like AHT or Average Holding Time.
Until now, they are still looking for an answer to their question of how it happened that the girl passed even though she did not narrach her goal performance but those who were always in training did not pass. Even me, if I was in their situation, that would be very unfair on my side. When we were still in training, even though I was burning with fever, they still wanted me to come in because they said it was bad to be absent as a trainee.
Let me be fair here, they want me to speak, then allow me to speak. Atleast, I have this proof about what I have written here than *you guys making your own stories.*
Sickness.
In this part, I don't know if I can laugh or feel pity for people who, even though their flu is so bad, they still force the sick to go to work. Otherwise, you will taste words that hurt worse than someone's bad flu.
This batchmate of mine have a bad nosebleeding when we are on duty, his nose didn't stop to bleed and even lost his senses after a few minutes.
His fever was very high while we were on duty, when he lost consciousness his nose was still bleeding. At that time, I knew he was very tired because he was studying and still working. we took him to the clinic, when he was okay they didn't even send him home but they still made him work even though his fever was burning so bad. No more excuses, he was scolded and told that he has too many reasons. Our learning specialist saw how bad he felt, but instead of worrying, she was more worried about the result of her performance as a learning specialist of our wave.
Health is wealth, that's what our company often says. If you feel something, say it and speak. But how do you speak? You are allowed to say that you feel bad and that you are not okay, but in exchange for that the staffs are very rude and have bad behavior. You will be told that these are all just your reasons and that they are completely untrue, it's so funny to think that despite everything, they still think like that. ***Despite the flowery words they say, it's all just lies.***
The things they said during training were so wrong, the things they said about things were so wrong. They are not health is wealth here, in the company I joined, even if you are no longer healthy, your performance is still important to them.
Note:
Remember the agent who jumped off the building due to stress? Yes, me and that agent were working at the same company. And I just realized, the reason why he did that is also because of the treatment of the higher ups in the company. Now, I can't see the source of the article and I don't want to talk about it anymore.
All of my previous article were related to them, if I can fight them just by venting my heart and telling the truth because in the end no one will listen and the majority will only listen to them. What is health is wealth to them? That's a big joke for me when it comes to them. It's not true. The company's health is wealth, it's all a lie.
One of the reasons why I wanted to resign was not only because of my health. But also because of the words I receive from her whenever I can't go to work because I can't, or maybe I need a break. Even though I have a medical certificate, they still say a lot that I just don't want to go to work. If I say that I feel back pain, they won't accept it. I might even get scolded if I did that because they want you to be perfect in everything. It's really a training ground for newbies, many resigning that's why they are always hiring.
By the way, I'll end this article here, this might be too long.
By the way, have a great day everybody! This is the last day of july and I don't have any reports on how many bch I have accumulate since I was not active.
.
What’s Your Favorite Way To Waste Time?
We all tend to think of a way to spend the day without wasting time, like just waiting for someone to walk with you. Or else, you watch something you see on your phone to pass the time.
So on today's article, it is all about how to waste time so that I don't notice. Char, my explanation is not good but I will start.
I'm a type of person who gets easily bored, I mean, when I get bored of what I'm doing I suddenly feel that I don't want it anymore, that I want something else. The worst thing is that I'm about to act, and in the end ***nothing will finished.***
So what's my favorite way to waste time?
**First is, I wander around using google map.**
When I'm at work, one of the things I pass the time with is google maps. I don't do anything else but wander everywhere especially if I don't have calls, that's my job all the time. I would also like to use Facebook or maybe messenger but I can't because they will know.
Sometimes, I look at the appearance of the place of the people who call us so I can see where they put their newspaper and the roads in their place. So that I know where they are referring to, because there are times when I have a hard time understanding where they want to put their newspaper or where they want to change their address.
*My job is very easy, but I have to give up because I have no choice but to choose what and which one is good for me. The pay is good, the work is easy, but my health is suffering a lot. It was only here that I experienced excessive hair loss, my hair was almost bald due to the severity of the loss.*
Writing Anything On The Notepad.
Well, I'm a fan of this. I mean, what's wrong on writing on the computers notepad? I'm just writing poems and nothing more. I love doing this especially when the google map was blocked from the computer. Welp, I guess I cannot blame them since we are just following a company protocol.
Eating Eating Eating.
It's our job to eat, if we can't do anything the only thing we can do is eat and eat while letting the hours pass. Boring disappears so much sometimes especially when you eat something that is very satisfied to your taste, sometimes even when I am on calls I eat food while observing the surroundings to see if there is a guard.
I don't want to be scolded just because I ran away with food, right? This is another one of my ways to not make me sleepy especially when I talk to someone on calls. It's also my stress reliever, especially if the person I'm talking to on the call has a brain disease, *do you get it?*
Just kidding of course, we all have the same reactions sometimes. If we are in their situation, probably if how upset they are, we will be the same. Would you be happy if what you were waiting for that was said to come today, did not come? right? You will be upset because you waited for a long time and then suddenly it can't reach you.
Doing House chores.
When at home, it is also fashionable to act and clean. We women are usually the ones who like to act and clean up messes. But me, usually when I'm tired from my work and my partner is still awake, he acts for me and he also prepares meals and other things. Sometimes she'll wake me up to eat, she'll wake me up to take a shower or maybe she'll find a way to make me smile.
He looks grumpy but he's very gentle, she's grumpy to other people but she's gentle when it comes to me. One of the things I liked about him is that part, especially when someone notices him and then she ignores it, I told her once about that but she just said, she doesn't care because they don't contribute to her life.
Sometimes, I'm still embarrassed when someone notices her and then she ignores it. If I have my own world, my partner also has his own world. When we are out, she thinks of many things to eat, but in the end there is nothing because we can't catch up.
***But just for a moment, we are getting away from the topic.***
For now, this is all I can share. I'm going to work today because the end of my work is near and I can't not go because I don't want to be terminated either. Even @Ayane-chan said, "**It's better to resign than being terminated**."
A little update lang rin from me,
Thank you so much for those people who let me rant in their messenger and @Ayane-chan didn't hesitate to call me and have a chikahan with me. And also to @DennMarc who I always told about what was happening in my life and to my health and to ate @Chelle18 who also gave advice. I know I disturbed you yesterday but thank you very much, my mind became peaceful because of your one opinion.
God bless everyone!
Let Me Speak: Can You Hear My Voice?
*I kept talking*, but no one was listening. I repeat my words over and over again, but no one will believe me. Do I look like a liar? Do you think I am not telling the truth? At the first meeting, everything was fine. You often listen to me, but why?
What shall I do to make you believe? What will I do for you to listen? can you really hear me Do you hear every word I say? Or are you just pretending to understand, because you are afraid of being defiled? How many times do I really have to repeat what I'm saying? ***And why do I have to repeat? No one even listens.***
***Is it because you think I'm just like everyone else? Do you think that they and I are the same? Your reasons are very low.q Why don't you try to tell the truth? Tell us that you guys are not listening,*** *****not even once.*****
I screamed, asking for help. It's rare for me to be like this. Why? Why do you torture me so much? You said, you are only there to help us. That you are only there to listen to us, but what is it? We still receive hurtful words. Words that do not tell if you are all worried or just a plain stupid.
You don't want me to talk, but I will let others know that I have something to say. You don't want me to talk, but I know we're talking. Wrong, you don't allow me to speak because you want to be right. You want people around you to listen to you, you want them to listen to you more. ***How about us? How about me***? I can't just keep quiet, and let you dictate everything.
Before, you said that you know how to get along, you know how to listen and you have an open mind. But what is happening now? Why did the words you mentioned seems false? Why do the words I heard from you seems like a big lie?
What you mentioned is too far from what you do, what you said is too far from what you say. Do you understand? Or did you not hear me? you say so much, you know so much. Your knowledge is out of place. You never know, maybe what you're doing is the reason why someone doesn't want to continue.
***You're not listening***
***You don't want us to explain***
***You don't want to be led***
***Everything is a lie.***
Final Thoughts
My anxiety was totally messed up right now. I was totally crying for almost 2 hours and I can't even explain why am I feeling this way. Maybe because I am kinda stressed at the same time since I felt like I did something wrong and I don't know what it is. I'm so down, I'm not feeling okay, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep until I forgot that I'm existing. I kept looking for the answers. Answers that can satisfied me and answers where I am somehow alright with it. My heart is tired, my mind is also tired. I cannot decide well even if I tried to ask everyone and they all have the same questions.
*I don't know,I felt like I'm not sure with myself rn.*
Why I Deactivated My Facebook (07.27.22 earthquake update.)
I deactivated my facebook to avoid people who were the reason why I am like this. It's not because I'm running away from someone or because I don't want to talk to someone, it's just that I really don't want someone to add to my headache, especially the things that are already giving me a headache.
That's why I chose deletion so that no one can send messages or call me, even my acquaintances, I'm too lazy to explain to tell my side over and over because they'll say it's like that and they won't listen. If you notice, in my last article I said, "Some people are dead and blind." which is super true right? Because, the people who I thought would listen and believe me once I say this or that don't listen. That they only listen to themselves, and they will never understand me.
It's not that I'm annoyed or angry, but you can't avoid being really irritated. Because, I'm not the person who won't go to work just because I feel something. Hello? My anxiety level is high so I can't really go in because I'm sure I'll cry while taking calls. What do they want me to do? Should I laugh or should I cry when customers call because I'm not okay?
I cannot really tell them that I will not go to work just because of this reason, mental health is not counted as a valid reason for not going to work or not being able to go to school. People don't recognize mental health as one of the valid reasons, they will compare you just because they don't know what you really feel. It hurts to think that despite everything, you're just one of the things they need so that the client doesn't scold them because it will be counted as a bad record.
What about the people who can't sleep well because of too many thoughts? Those people who don't know what to do to get well?
Those people who are dreaming, even in simple things, that someone will believe and listen to them? What about us? How do we try to show that we need help? How we try to smile just to show how good we are, how? With so many thoughts on my mind, I don't know where to start and how to escape from everything. I don't want my partner to cover all the expenses and I don't want her to pay for everything because I will be leaving work and all I can do is write.
Being the one who understands my feelings, I suddenly realized that time that at the end they were right, it's only me who understands my real emotions. I suddenly realized that no matter what I explained, no matter what I said, they would not understand me. They have many reasons, they will say that you feel this way because of that.
*I don't know if I will choose to explain, if I will choose to say the right thing. Because for sure you won't listen either, you won't listen to me and you won't understand me.*
So earlier Abra experienced a 7.3magnitude of earthquake while here in Baguio we experienced 2.1 magnitude. I'm floating earliernsince I just got out from work and I have no idea that it's already an earthquake lol. Late realization lmao, but hopefully everyone is fine
Final thoughts
How's everyone? Me? Here, I'm getting ready for my work later. It's still at 10pm but I love taking bath early so that I won't missed anything later and I just need to get ready to go to work.
13 days left before my last day, I'm not sad or anything. BPO is my dream job but I don't want to see my health suffer because of being awake all night. This is the most saddest part of being a call center agent. *Whenever you used to love your job, that's where all unexpected things happening.*
Even If The Sun Refuse To Shine.
"**Why can't I just give you my heart? If it's possible, I guess you'll accept it.**" Ren said when I faced him. In fact, he never got tired of joking with me like that for almost a year.
"**Aren't you tired? You keep repeating what you say, how many times have I heard that from you since last year.**" my only answer. I can't look at him, it's like my heart is tickled by the stares he shows.
"**I'm serious, Euchress. If you accept my heart, this is all I have to offer.**" He answered simply. I immediately took out my phone, I suddenly saw that today is Valentine's Day. "**You're joking, you know I don't want to get hurt.**" I'm almost not sure, he's always been like this.
I felt him take a deep breath and hold my hand, "**I won't hurt you, you're not mine yet but I've been taking care of you for a long time**." I can't hide the nervousness I feel from the words he uttered, I can't tell if my heart is happy or if I already love himfrom start to finish.
He is not kidding, he is true to what he says. Since the day we met, he never stopped saying hello and making sure if I was okay or if I had eaten and anything else. To be honest, I am very happy with him, apart from being very lucky to meet him..I am also very lucky because of the amount of people in the world, he and I met. He sympathized with me almost often, he often encouraged me. He often makes me smile and often makes me feel that I am very important to him. I've pushed him once, but no matter what I do to get him to stay away from me. .he is still there to catch me at times when I can't lift my own feet.
Oh God, *I cannot afford to lose this person*.
"**When I see you, I wish I was just an ant so I could bite you both**." I suddenly distanced myself from Ren when one of our acquaintances suddenly entered but unfortunately, I almost fell and I felt someone grab my hip before I fell.
My chest is pounding, my heart is pounding so hard that it's like there's no tomorrow. I don't know if my feelings are happy because of what he is showing. He is often like that, when I get bumped, he suddenly grabs my head before hitting anywhere, or maybe he warns me.
"**Take it easy, you're going to bump into what you're doing.**" he suddenly said. Suddenly, our acquaintance became silent so he pulled me towards him because if he let go of me, I would definitely act out of balance. "**Sorry**." I only said. "**I'm leaving, it looks like I came in here wrong**." he said. Suddenly we both laughed and stared at each other. I just realized that his eyes are so beautiful to stared at. I feel like I'm drowning staring at him.
"**Don't look at me like that, I'll melt**." He said, I couldn't hold back and kissed him. He didn't say a word about what I did, I just felt him hold my neck until our kiss got deeper and deeper.
And finally, February 14, 2021. *We're now official.*
Final thoughts
I'm more active than I thought, how's everyone? I hope you guys are fine.
By the way, I have this little rant of mine.
Being a call center is ny dream job, but when I started working as an agent, my hairfall got worsen. I just realized that my body cannot keep to be awake whole night. And because of that, I planned to render. Do you guys think that I choose the correct decision? Because I'm so disappointed to myself that I cannot continue my dream job. I already told my partner about this, and she said that I need to think more about my health. Since, having maxicard or maxihealth card can cover up other things on the hospital but not the medicines and etc. She said, that if I'm just working to used my money at the hospital, then I should just focus on writing.
Wat do you guys think?
Some People Are Blind And Deaf: Wake Up.
How many times have you cried out that you need help, screams that have no voice and screams that they cannot hear. Shouts that you can only see in laughter, there are secret words, **"I need help."**
You can't ask for help, you can't talk, you can't say what you feel for fear that others will say, "*Ignore it*."You secretly glance at people you thought you could ask for help, people you thought would notice the sadness you have.
People who you thought would greet you when they didn't know where you were, people who would wonder why the joy you show is different. In the end, all of that is like a warning, warnings that *maybe today*, maybe *tomorrow* or maybe the *next day* you will be gone.
Some days you have an appetite, some days you have almost no energy. Days when you don't want to socialize with the people around you, and days when you don't want them to notice that at the same time you're not really okay. You secretly show that you need help, help that only one person can criticize, and that is the person who really knows you.
You don't want to go to school, go to work, and go anywhere because of your mental disorder. In the end, the first thing they say to you is, "**You're absent again**." who couldn't even ask, "**Are you okay? Why didn't you come in?** ." Things that make them angry because you didn't say you were absent, you weren't going. Things that made them angry because you chose to be silent, and you chose not to speak.
***If you speak, will anyone listen? Or will they only follow their own beliefs?***
You are getting tired of things that happen almost repeatedly, you don't understand if the people around you know your point. Or not at all because they only think about their reputation, it's tiring to hear words from people who don't know how much you're hurting and how hard you're trying to overcome everything. They are too deaf, they are too blind.
Just with your simple request that they would understand you, even if it's just a little, they still can't do it. Even if they understand you and know what you want to convey, in the end they are still deaf to the fact that you don't like whatever is happening now. It's like we're at the point where we want to say what's the weight and pain we feel, but we can't because most of the people we know around us, in the end they follow their own beliefs.
Let's be honest about the part that we don't really understand them, it's not possible when someone says that, that's why it's like this because you won't listen to it anymore. maybe we are deaf to listen to others, our eyes are blind to see how heavy and how difficult it is for them to perform the things they should perform because of their problem. it's not because, this is what is happening to them, or this is what they are going through, that we will not listen to them anymore and we will not listen to them at all.
It's just like people who you see are very happy, always laughing and almost always smiling, do you sometimes not think about how they are doing especially when they are alone? ***Let's admit it, sometimes we only think about ourselves.***
It's always our mistake that we don't listen to them, it's always our mistake that we focus on us being right and them being wrong. We don't even think, that they might be in such a situation that's why the result is like that. We are too one sided, whether we admit it or not, yes we become like this.
It's also important to them that someone will listen, it's also important to them that they can release the weight in their heart. It is very important to them that somehow, someone will stay by their side through thick and thin.
For me, the only answer here is, let's learn to be open to everything. Not all the time, they will adjust just to be with us. If you know someone who is not used to a lot of people, and is not used to getting along, just understand. **Don't tell them that they need to learn to get along,** ***because we have different*** *****habits***** ***and*** *****experiences********.***
Final thoughts
Thank you so much @CrazyRichFilipina and ate @Adrielle1214 for the sponsorship renewal! Masyado akong di active pero I'm so happy na nakasupport parin kayo sakin 💓
Also, thank you so much for the people who keep supporting me despite of being too much inactive! I'm trying ny best to write an article kahit 200-300 words lang perday. By the way, I'm hoping that everyone is alright! I'm also done renewing some of the sponsorship. Lovelots everyone!
Incase That You're Not Okay.
We always say that if we're not okay, that's okay. That if we are not okay, there is nothing wrong. That if we are not okay, there is no problem. It's okay to sometimes show that you're weak, that sometimes you show that you can't handle what you're going through. Whether I, you or them, we all feel the same reason, so why would you choose to hide that if you are not the only one who feels that way?
back then, when we were young, when we stumbled every time we ran and were injured, we cried so fast because of that. Older people often say, "**Don't cry, it hurts more when you cry**." Now, those words have a very deep meaning. When you cry, it relieves pain, doesn't it? Until you say to yourself, "***I shouldn't cry, because from the beginning I know I was strong.***"
*****Sometimes I know you feel like no one is guiding*****
you, no one loves you and no one is willing to listen. But friend, out of the billion people in the world, you are not alone. Those funny people, happy people and those people who love to smile that you met. Try to look them in the eye, you will know the answer to your frequent questions. You can be hurt, you can cry. Nothing will stop you so let your tears flow. Because even I, I'm also crying, I'm also hurting and most of all, sometimes I always think of just giving up on everyone. We are here in reality, not all the time we are okay. We can't fake our laugh, we can't fake our smile especially when you face someone who knows the trend of your emotions.
Sometimes, other people appreciate it so much when someone is asking them how they are, it's just because sometimes someone will suddenly ask them without any need. Diba? We know in ourselves that most of the people we know, they only remember us when they have something to say and want to convey. The others will say hello because they suddenly remember you, the others will suddenly say hello because they owe you money.
Sometimes, I know you’ve experienced when you take a deep breath don’t just cry and just don’t show you’re not okay. I know you have at one time or another experienced feelings of surrender and hesitation at all. You almost don't know if it's right for you to continue, or just stop. We are once at the point where, we just want to continue because we have no choice but to fight. You are lucky if you can find the thing where you are comfortable,
**where you will be happy, and where you will last**. Sometimes the work is okay, only the people are really not well. So sometimes, you get too tired to work because of the people around you and because of the people who cause you to be ruined.
Keep smiling!
Final Thoughts
It's really frustrating isn't it? To be honest, if You're going to asked me. The only answer that I have is that, most of us are kept on lying. What I mean is, not most of us but everyone of us.
Welp, this article is on my notes for like 2 months mow. I just editeyit a lil bit and publish it. I hope everyone is okay.
Think Of It..
In a relationship, sometimes there are both of you who don't feel like it anymore. There are both of you who have no strength, there are both of you just waiting to see who will give up and don't want to. In a relationship, sometimes there are those who will criticize and you will fight because of a mistake. You will repeatedly ask yourself, "***Does it really love me ?***."
You don’t know if it’s right, you also don’t know if it’s wrong. There seems to be no glitter, nothing flashing between you. The one holding the relationship is tired, the other has no appetite. Where do you now want to choose? To let go or stick to it?
They always say that not all the time the relationship shines, not all the time the romance shines. Sometimes, this brilliance disappears, vanishes, comes back and repeats again. You don’t know what’s important, you don’t know what’s right and proper. If you have the patience to understand and comprehend them, you are on the right path where you are not wrong in your decision to choose to handle them.
The others stay even without the spark, not for the reason that they stay because they have no other choice. So they stay because they love the person so much and that person is very important to them, maybe there are things we don't understand like how we handle them in times when they are so hard to handle. Sometimes we are so demanding in the part that we prioritize our emotions rather than just understanding them, that we prioritize the part that hurts us rather than asking them what the problem is.
It is so very important to ask, it is so very important to be understanding. You know he's or she's like that because he's or she's just tired, all of us when we feel tired we choose to keep quiet and not say anything, right? We try to keep it to ourselves and not to say it. So it is very important that before we say a word to the person we love, we first ask if there is a problem.
It is easy to say that someone no longer loves us because of the actions they show, without knowing that they are just tired and they also want a break. Sometimes we become too numb because our emotions prevail over our love for someone. How can you say that you love him ?, if you can even understand him in simple things, you still can't do it.
Final Thoughts
I feel so tired and Idk what to do, my body feels like of giving uo after my work and I want some refreshment. But for some reason, I can't do anything since I need so save up some money hays. I wish I can be active here again like before after my render days
The Invisible You: We, I secretly Asking For Help.
We are like the stars, we look beautiful but the rest of us don't know where the dream is. You feel like you were born not because you have a mission but because you have things to finish. You feel like you are alone, no one is listening to the grievances you want to bring out. No one can see how you really feel, especially the sadness. You feel so invisible that no one will ever notice and no one will notice you.
You often secretly cry, you often hold your breath just not to be noticed and heard by others. You laugh often and show you’re okay, just don’t let them notice you’re failing. We are so fake in our lungs that we try to show others that we are very okay but in the end it is all pure lies. Nakakapagod no? It's very tiring to lie, especially if you really know how you feel.
Attention there, and Attention here is what we do. They only know you when they need something. They only know you if you have money, they only know you if they ask for something. Do you think of everything? Sometimes there are so many reasons why we don't want to talk to people we should have the courage to take, that's because they don't know us when our pockets are almost empty.
*Many words we sometimes don't know how to say, words we sometimes don't know where to get. We both ask for help, "****Help me.****" You mentioned secretly.*
It's all tiring, you secretly ask for help with things that others think are easy for you. That others thought you were okay, they just thought. The thought that does not match the true feelings inside us. How many times have you shouted without a voice coming out? How many times have you dreamed that someone would notice the weight in your heart? How many times? Of the countless, I know you don’t know either.
You repeatedly ask yourself things you shouldn’t be doing, unanswered questions. Sometimes, you just ask yourself, "**Do they see the real me?.**", Because in their eyes, we are a happy person but so far from the truth that we are not what we think, they just imagine what we are.
***Friend, if you're crying now it's okay. If you’re so sad and you can barely do anything, that’s fine. It’s not enough reason to say you’re okay only if you know in yourself that it’s not really, it’s not bad to be true, it’s not bad to be a liar. Maybe, we are at a point in our lives where we think it's okay that this is what's happening. But friend, you can't stay and just leave what and where you are now. You have to get up, you have to stay strong. Remember, you are not weak.***
Final thoughts
19 days to go, tapos na render ko. I have this memories where I treasured the most. I'll be back, yes i will.
Hi everyone! Pansin nyo atang pasulpoy-sulpot ako sa comment section without article HAHAAHAH. Sorry sorry, busy lang rin at gawainko lang ay magbasa at magrenew ng sponsorship.
By the way, I hope everyone is doing good 💓
I'm sorry I unpublished the article that I published, it was supposed to be published later. Welp, I'm totally back! Have a nice day everyone!
After a Month, I Already Decided: I Already Send my resignation.
This is the most messed up feelings that I can share. The one that I hated so much because it was bugging me through my working hours, where you want to cry out loud, you are shaking and you don't feel alright. *I can't stand with too many people*, we all know that sometimes we can't really understand how our feelings were going through. Since I started working on BPO, I noticed that my anxiety was become bad again not like the times that I'm so calm, and I'm so sure that I'm okay.
I'm not sure what the reason is, but there are times where I just cried and cried because of my anxiety were totally f*cked up. I don't have any problems or anything that was on my mind, but it's only I'm having trouble with the things that even me are not sure.
I can't hold any longer to see my self to this situation, and I can't no longer hold myself to be okay in the front of other even it I'm not because I'm totally not. Plus, I was spending more money than the times that I am still on my partner's boarding house and doesn't have a work. So what happened, since I can't save up money due of the expenses when I'm on the outside, I'll just choose to write blogs for me to earn something.
I already planned to continue my blogging passion and leave my work, since I can't really stand up with too many people because of my anxiety who were attacking me always.
I planned to write as long as readcash ang other legit platform are still alive, so that I can save up to my expenses. Since, I'll render for 30 days then I can go back after a year. Also, I'll go back to Iloilo on sept that's why I am resigning. *The reason*? It's too personal.
***I can't say, that BPO was not a perfect job from me, I'm giving up my career since I'm not feeling well and there's something that I really need to do before continuing. I hope my coach and learning manager understand what I mean.***
I can't no longer explain myself, I can't no longer explain the situation to them since I have something that I cannot abandoned. Choosing this career of mine gave me a huge test where I will try to make my patience longer. And yes, *I success.*
If the time comes, I know if this job is for me, the path of this company and mine will cross again.
Rendering in 30 days makes me feel that I'm so blessed to meet them, like I already met the family of mine or the second family of mine who makes me feel so worth. A second mother who were listening to all of my rants, a friends and family who loves asking for a piece of candy but ending up getting it all from me.
See? They are already wonderful, like meeting a new friends and a someone who will not judge you just because of your appearance.
To all people that I met in the office, you all guys are wonderful. I'm so thankful because you guys listened and gave advice and also comfort me during those times that I can't stand up on my anxiety.
So whoever read this from mg wave mates, and my colleagues at work. Always remember that I didn't choose to abandoned you guys. Trust me, ***I'll back, I'll be.***
Final Thoughts
Hi! I already made up my mind where I'll just focus on writing while readcash are still existing. I'm trying my best to be active again, that's why I'm always at your comment sections guys. I miss you all! And yes, I'll be totally back after 27 days.
Ayos Lang Yan, Ituloy Mo Ang Laban.
**“Ayos Lang Yan, Ituloy Mo Ang Laban.”.** Isinulat Ni OfficialGamboaLikeUs
*“Tila walang maintindihan, puso ko’y nababalot ng katakutan. Hindi ko malaman, wala akong naiintinihan kahit ano pang kadahilanan.”*
Palihim kang humihingi ng saklolo, walang nakakarinig sapagkat wala kang salitang binibitawan. Walang nakakakita, sapagkat ayaw mong isipan nila ang iyong kahinaan. **Di ka ba napapagod sa iyong laban?** Kailangan mo rin ng kaginhawaan.
Takot kang sabihin sa iba ang tunay mong nararamdaman, di dahil di nila maiintindihan, kundi dahil iba-iba tayo ng karanasan.
Totoo, ***hindi ka mahina, natatakot ka lang***. Karamihan sa kadahilanang natatakot kalang, isa na ang salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng mga tao. Mga imahinasyon mo na baka ganito ganyan, ang mangyari sa hinahanap. Minsan nauuwi na sa halos wala ka nang maintindihan, di mo alam kung ano ang papanigan dahil puro takot na ang laman ng iyong isipan.
**Payong kaibigan, hindi masama kung mahina ka sa ngayon, hindi masama kung umiiyak ka, hindi masama kung di mo maramdaman na maayos ka. Ngayong binabasa mo to,** *kamusta ka? Kung sino kaman, tandaan mong hindi ka nagiisa. Magpahinga ka, at bumalik sa labang ikaw ang nagwagi upang ipagpunyagi.*
Madalas natin itong kalaban pagdating sa mga palaisipang pwede makagulo sa ating nararamdaman. Madalas may katagang, ***"Sundin mo ang isip, huwag ang iyong puso."***
Aking kaibigan, kahit saan kaman makinig ay magulo parin ang kinakalabasan.
Palaisipan sa iba bakit may mga taong ayaw magsalita, at magsabi ng nasakanilang isipan? *Anong dahilan*? *Bakit*?
Ang karamihan sakanila ay problema kung paano sila mapaakinggan, paano sila mapapanigan at paano sila papaniwalaan. Madaming bagay sa mundo ang hindi natin maintindihan, madaming bagay sa mundo ang mahirap paniwalaan. Isa naroon ang nararamdaman ng isang tao, tayo bilang tao may mga oras na hindi talaga natin maintindihan kung ano yung gusto mong sabihin ng isa. Kasi doon lang tayo naka focus sa part na maririnig natin, without thinking na kumusta na kaya siya?
Kaya sila natatakot magsalita, na sabihin kung ano yung nais nilang sabihin dahil sa pwedeng maging tingin sa kanila nang ibang tao. Sobrang dami kasi ng rason naririnig natin kadalasan sa mga taong nakapaligid sa atin, *pero kung hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang tao manahimik ka nalang.*
Napapaisip ka pa kung bakit ganito ang artikulo ko?, Dahil para ito sa mga taong hindi talaga maayos ang kanilang pakiramdam pero makikita natin sila ok sila tignan. Relate ka diba kasi isa ka rin sa mga naging ganyan.
Ok lang na umiyak ka, ok lang kung nasasaktan ka, ayos lang rin kung mahina. Hindi naman tayo isang bato na kahit durugin na kahit ibato, tapakan man kahit ano ay walang nararamdaman. Tao kalang rin, kaya yung masasabi ko lang talaga sa'yo ayos lang yan ***ituloy mo ang laban.***
"We Always Can Do Better."
**Failure** is sometimes the reason why we don’t want to go on, why we don’t want to continue, and why occasionally we hated life. There are a lot of moments where everyone tries to be proactive and positive about the things that they love doing, to their work, to their family, to their friends, etc.
*But what’s happening when we fail?* We also lose the mindset that “**we are better**.”, And there we are again where instead of thinking that we do the exact thing, what’s happening is we end up failing the easiest way of thinking better.
**Why is this happening?**
It’s because we are focusing only on one thing, and that thing is what we called, “failure.” Failure can’t define us, we all knew that failure is a failure and there’s always room for improvement.
Don’t feel stuck
Don’t feel embarrassed
Don’t feel that you can’t
I know, sometimes we feel that we are stuck on the things that we are doing. Because we choose it, it doesn’t mean that we will be stuck forever. That’s why there’s a word, “**Moving forward.**”
Moving Forward means, no matter how deep you stuck in your problems, life struggles, overthinking, depression, anxiety but still you choose to take a step in ahead of time and keep thinking that, “*I can do better than this.*”
I remember when I’m in the midst of giving up, like I’m already at the point where I don’t want to continue. I just want to give up everything and to rest. Everytime that I feel this way, this is where I’m starting to ask myself, “**what is the benefit of this mindset**?.” I will start saying, “*no, you don’t know what it feels like.*” But yeah, most of the time I am wrong.
It’s because, I was stuck on the kind of mindset where I am thinking that no one will ever understand me, not even my partner. I may be too selfish about that but that’s the only way for them to not worry or stop thinking about what I feel. When my partner told me, that I will be her resting arms when I’m already here, it happens. She’s became my bestfriend and my guard and I became her resting arm and one of her best of bestfriend but also her girlfriend.
As we guys, we love being with someone who truly understand us. But without them, always remember that we can do better ALWAYS.
By the way, I wanna say thankyou for those who greeted me unexpected via social media and other platform. I didn't experience to receive a message from the people who's not even close to me. Or to someone who didn't even know me.
I appreciate those people who remembered my birthday and greeted me, thank you so much for putting a lil time just to greet me. For me, even a "**Happy birthday**." Is a big word for someone who don't want everyone to remember their birthday. I'm so happy that someone remembered it.
Final Thoughts
Hi everyone! I'm still finalizing the sponsorship that I didn't finalize. I'm also done renewing some of it, I wanna sy thank you for the greetings that I receive yesterday, thank you so much everyone!
The Greatest Gift That I Receive On My Today's Birthday.
I'm not wishing for more, I'm not looking for anything. I'm not the kind of person where I need something to fulfill my desire. Everything is enough, wether if it's just a letter or just a simple greetings.
I already receive the greatest gift of mine way back 2021, yes I know a lot of you knew who I was referring to. And yes, I am referring to my partner who became my best friend and a partner on crime. She's the best partner even if she's not perfect, I love how she were putting a lot of effort in our relationship. Eversince I started working at BPO, she's the only one who's living in the boarding house. And whenever I'm home, she's the one who will go to her work.
Sometimes, I really miss her. Like being with her with my day off and especially if I'm sleeping. I just figure out that the reason why I can't sleep, is because I used that she's always at my side.
Whenever that she's close to mine, I can feel that I am sleepy all of sudden. That was happening all the time especially when I'm with here. And yes, I just figured out that I'm so comfortable being with her. But yeah, since me and her have a different schedule. The thing that I can do is to wait for my day off so that I can be with her for like 2 nights only. And everything was already paid off during that time, and I'm not wishing for more. That's how much I love her.
I love how she was spoiling when it comes to things, when I want to buy or to drink something, she will asked me what I want and sometimes even if I'm not asking her for this, she will go home with my favorite food with her. Whenever that I was thinking about this, I'm just smiling for the whole working hours and like, I can feel her beside me. Weird right?
The another greatest gift that I have is my virtual friends and the wave that I am in right now, to be honest, at first I was just curious about the things that I really want because I have a plan to resign, but I hope this mindset of mine changed because I really want to stay to the company at where am I right now.
I have this virtual friends where I can rant, and tell everything especially when I'm upset. And they are there to listen and to give advise. I'll not mentioning everyone because you already knew if who you are guys. That's why I'm so thankful that I met everyone here.
And yes, the problem is, I need the maxicare. My coach told me, that the reason why she's not resigning is it's because of the maxicare. She said that the company catches her during the times that she was operated. That's why I became so 50/50 if I will going to render, or if I will going to stay.
It feels like that I'm just going to work to earn, pay bills then repeat.
That's why me and my partner are thinking about why don't we just try having a food business? Because she wants food and she don't want anything else.
By the way, thank you so much for those who greeted me. May the God bless you all!
**Additional**
Feeling ko talaga nagtatrabaho nalang ako para may maibayad at maipadala na halos walang naiiwan sakin. Di ko alam kung ano bang tama yung pwedeng gawin ko, pero nakakaloka na nakakalungkot isipin lahat.
How I Make A Delicious Spaghetti With Mushroom That Only Cost 6$.
For today's article, i will to write about how i make spaghetti, adelicious spaghetti with a mushroom and that only cost $6.
Of course before we start I need to wash this muna so that i have something to use. Sorry for the mess, I'm too busy to clean this up and also my partner. But I'll clean it after I cook.
Ingredients
Cornedbeef (Premiure)
Mushroom
Soy sauce 1tbs
3 cloves of garlic
Half union
Cheese (eden)
Sweet sauce
Pasta
Hot dog
All purpose cream
**Procedure**:
Put a water and a mantikilya (oil) in a pan. Wait ot to boil before putting the paste.
When it boils, put the pasta and start slicing everything that you need later after the pasta.
When everything's done, get ready the onion and garlic and start putting it to the pan.
Wait a lil bit until the onion become lil reddish and put the garlic after that.
Then mix it until the garlic turned kinda red and don't wait for it over cook. After dping that, put the cornedbeef.
*I suggest using premiere brand of corned beef so that the texture mix well.*
Mix the three together and wait until the corned beef turned into red. At this point I keep mixing them while maintaining the fire into low so that it can be cook well.
After doing that, mix the hotdog. Just use any kind of hot dog, that will do.
While mixing them, get a soysauce but only one table spoon and put it on there and mix it again.
And mix them again, until you can no longer see the soysauce. And put the mushroom.
Mix them all but jut only good for min, and put the spaghetti sauce.
After putting the sauce, mix it well and wait until it boils. When the sauce boiled already, put the all purpose cream.
Just keep mixing them until the sauce and the all purpose cream bind together. At this point, put the cheese so that it will melt and the sauce will become more tastier.
*I forgot to put the cheese earlier so what I did is to mix them with the spag while cooking and wait until it melt down.*
Mix the pasta to the sauce, but it's up to you since me, I hate when I'm not mixing the pasta on it. It becomes more tastier everytime that I'm mixing it than doing them differential.
Ta da! This is the result! I swear it's tastier and not that expensive. The corned beef also taste like a ground beef so I really recommend this kind of spaghetti to those parents who have a kid loves eating this and for those who loves spaghetti!
You will not regretting making it, because it's mot just delicious but it's also creamier. I plan to cook a spaghetti since tomorrow was my birthday and I'm planning to celebrate it in advance, since I have too many check ups on this past few weeks and days, I feel so restless and I wanna rest. But making this is one of my comfort zone so it makes sense why many people loves eating.
Also, I'm happy that Iw as kinda active. But since it's monday tomorrow, I'll be not active again like this oast few days since I'm busy and I don't have enough time to prepare everything.
I was sleeping for like 10 hours everyday when I have duty HAHAAH. Pardon me, I'm that tired since it was my brain who's working and dealing with those irate customers.
By the way, this is a short update from me. Have a nice day everyone!
"A Secret, But Cannot Hide"
"**Fred**!" Shout by one of my friend. I suddenly spill out the tea that I am drinking when I heard his name, "**What's the matter? Did you,drink something?.**" Monica asked, "**No, no. I just, nevermind. Why do you know fred**?." I asked.
I met Monica when I am enrolling on my last year of college this year and she was one of my seatmate. She's clingy, sweet, also she loves chatting and talking and talking and talking. But over that, she's a wonderful person.
I saw fred walking on where our direction is and I felt that my heart were racing faster. *Run, run, run.*
"**Uhm, let me go to bathroom first.**" I said while trying to avoiding them. But when I stood up, Monica held me suddenly and pull me down to sit again. "**Stay there, we were from there earlier. Let's go there later."** She said while she's still looking to Fred.
"**Fred! This is Drea, and Drea, this is Fred, my big brother**." She said. I was too stunned to speak because I felt like that my heart were racing too fast. Shems! I can't!
"**It's been a long time Drea, it's nice to see you here.**" Fred said, I just didn't answer him. I may not love him, ain't I? Or I still have feelings left to him from years ago? I know it's impossible since fred and me broke up for like 2 years now. I know fred have a little sister but I didn't expecting that it was Monica. "**Oh, that's nice that you already know each other.**" Monica said while smiling.
"**Haha yeah, by the way I'll go first. Carielle's already there. I need to catch up**." Fred said. Carielle? I know that's her new girlfriend. *But why I felt like there is something spike inside of me*? "**Hey girl, you're on the space already.**" Monica said. I just suddenly came back to my senses when she speak.
"**Uhm yeah, what it is again?**." I said, I don't want her to figure out if who am I. Maybe I still love fred but the thing is I can't face the fact that we already broke up two years ago. "**I'm asking how did you know my brother**." She asked. I just look at her and smile. And told her that his brother was a honor student way back on my old college school and that's why.
"**Oh yes, I remembered that he transferred to another school after that.**" She answered. I just nod. *And that's the reason why we broke up to each other*.
I stay silent until the class ended. When I'm ready to go home, it's raining. So I have no choice but to walk even if there's a rain.
"*Hey, come over her tomorrow*." Monica texted me.
"*Oh sure.*" I replied.
It's already 5pm and I'm about to go at Monica's place. Hopefully Fred isn't there since they are living in another apartment. And I also don't want to yo because I felt like my body is heavy. *Maybe it because of the rain last day?*
"**Hey! You came. Come in**." She said, there's too many people who also attended to her party. While me, I am at the corner because I hate being with so many people. "**Drea**!." Monica shouted while she's walking towards me. "**Meet Carielle, my brother girlfriend**."
Carielle and me just look to each other, no one dared to spill a word or to speak. Carielle knows me and I also known her. There's a dark past where I really don't want to remember everything. "**Hi! Nice to meet you!**." She suddenly grab my hand and shake it. I was too stunned to speak, *how come she can act like it's the first time that she met me? .*
"**I'm really sorry Carielle, maybe Drea was too stunned to speak since she's not into a huge of people**." Monica said, I still didn't say a word. I don't feel well and this is what's happening. Oh what a word.
After many hours, I feel like I'm going to passed out and I asked Monica if I can sleep to her room and she agreed. She offer a help and I allow her when Fred suddenly showed up.
"**Where you two are going**?." He asked. "**Drea were asking if she can sleep into my room and I'm bringing her.**" Monica answered. I look at Fred and he already knew why I asked about it. "**Go back, I'll be the one who will assisting her**." Fred said.
"**No, no. It's already okay**." I said. But monica insisted to let her brother help me so I have no choice and I didn't say even one word since it's kinda awkward.
When we got to Monica's room, Fred help me to lay down. "**Why you still go here when you don't feel alright?**." Fred asked, I didn't answer him. I just keep my eyes close than seeing him. "**Even if you keep ignoring me, I knew you still love me**." Fred added.
I suddenly open my eyes and I saw him looking at me, *those eyes...those eyes are still the same.*
"**Stop talking to me Fred, there's nothing to talk about**." I said. I sit down and try to keep calm, I want to stand up and get out from the room but I can't. Fred help me again to lay down and told me not to stand up. I just close my eyes and pretend to sleep, I try to feel everything around me and I can still feel his presence. I didn't open my eyes and I'm still waiting for him to go out.
"*Drea, i know I do something wrong before. I didn't listen, I didn't ask you first. Cariella is not my girlfriend. It's still you.*"
Hi! So it's up to you on how you guys will understand this story. I don't have any topic so I just write it up instead.
Being busy is not funny, welp. On monday I'll be not around again
Final Thoughts
I didn't go to my check up today hehe, I'm planning to look for another ob and have a check up there instead. By the way, have a nice weekend everyone!
@OfficialGamboaLikeUs
