dear fathers, men and prospective husbands

It's a great privilege to TALK to you from my heart.

I have come across so many men and male folks in general and have seen just few who have really impressed me by their level of responsibility.

To start with, I really want to appreciate those men out there who have been able to shoulder their responsibility and make their families a happy one. God is proud of you

But the question is, why do several other men lack when it comes to taking responsibilities?

I've been to several wedding ceremonies and the roles assigned to the prospective husbands and fathers is the same according to scriptures. "husband love your wife", "husband protect your family", "husband provide for your family, because he who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel". Funny enough, the men will obediently nod their heads like what I don't know pretending to be listening only to bring out their own idiosyncrasies and practically throw away the biblical standard.

In a normal pagan or traditional setting, it won't bother me much, but it pains me a lot because it's now predominant in Christian homes. You see a father and husband and the only thing he knows is to gather his family for prayer meetings, church activities and just nothing else! As good as it is to involve your family in religious activities, there is more to do if you must keep them in that stead.

The little care and concern you show in the all-round growth of the family matters a whole lot. But sometimes, you tend to overlook every other thing going on in the family "after all I have a woman in the house" that's what you think. And you end up stressing the woman meanwhile home building is a joint effort.

Then when children starts to rebel and wife is no longer submissive, the devil will always take the blame, right???

But come o fathers and husbands, what is wrong if you show that little care to your family affairs. Something like, "honey, the roof is leaking o, let me find a carpenter to fix it" or "sweetheart, put the gas cylinder in the boot let me fill it" or "dear it seems junior is not feeding well these days oh, is everything alright? " or "dear, you don't look cheerful, are you okay? " or "my dear, I think we should change the setting of our bedroom".

Oh no! you don't know how crazy women can be if they have men who can be so committed to the affairs of the family. But ouch! These days you will hear, "everybody come to the sitting room for devotion" and even when nobody is happy, dad still conducts the devotion anyways. After that, he begins to order people around. "Angela, keep water for me to bath", "Matthew, clean my shoes" and "honey, make sure my breakfast is ready". In the next 30mins daddy is set for work and off he goes without caring to know the well being of his family members. OMG! This shouldn't be happening.

8pm dad is back from work, makes sure his bath water and dinner is ready. After that, he goes to collect the remote and change it to news channel, and when he hears how the government is not meeting up with the need of the masses......... He blast them.! "these government! They are Soo wicked and heartless! Just imagine! They have no conscience at all!... How will they ever progress! In fact, Nigeria government is the worst government ever! See how people are suffering! Bla bla bla.... Blaming the government who is taking care of millions of people, when they can't make a family of 5 a happy one.

It's so annoying that a father owns a car in the family and will never drop anyone off at work or school. But when it's time for church service........ "come out everyone, so we don't go late to church". Meanwhile on work days, they drive their cars alone like Reverend fathers.

Listen, dear fathers and husbands, if your daughter won't be proud to have a husband like you, just know that you are a failure already. This reminds me of what a lady friend told me happened a few months ago on Facebook. In a group made up of women only, someone posted a question that says, "sisters, will you want to marry a man that is like your father???" jeez! The answers that came surprised me a lot. Out of about 2k comments, just about one quarter of the ladies said a 'yes' and not all the yes was a genuine one because she said some said 'yes, partially'.

Then the rest were "no, no and no" but that was not the shock oh! The shock came when many other ladies typed "no! God forbid", some did not stop there.... They added "no! God forbid bad thing!"

And I began to wonder why a daughter will not want her husband to be like her father. It's so pathetic that so many fathers have failed their generation and nothing is done about it. Attention is turned to the women nowadays and so many women meetings, women day, women conventions and women prayer meetings are held and the men are left to their own opinion while the women must live according to the biblical virtuous woman. I think there should be a balance!

Fathers, please hear this one! There is way you build your family and they just automatically become loyal to you especially nowadays where children have a lot of places to learn from(i.e school, social media, in the society, among peers, etc). If you must catch them young, then you must make them feel secure all round (spiritually, physically, academically, emotionally, mentally, socially and otherwise). While preaching Christ to them, also live a life worthy of emulation.

Let them see Christ in you. Make them your priority. Let your children confide in you. Build a wall of friendship for you and your family. Be committed to the affairs of your home. Robert Strand, in his book "The power of fatherhood, a strength to hold unto" he said, a real man is a man who possess shoulders to lean on, laps to seat on, arms to embrace and hands to hold.

Look! there's nothing wrong in taking your family out for a treat once in a while or for trips during holidays or for shopping or for outings on weekends. Apart from making them feel special, they will be proud to have you as their father and your wife will be proud to have you as her husband.

Having quality time with your family, making each member share their challenges, seek for solution together and sometimes tell moonlight stories it is not worldliness please! It is called "family ties". And, wow! This kind of family ehn, even the devil can't penetrate because the bonds grows stronger and stronger.

If you don't know what it takes to be a great dad, no worries because you can always get to know if you're ready.

Buy and read books on fatherhood, browse how to be a great father on net and learn from good examples around you.

Learn love, care, sympathy and empathy. Not just control, order and the "respect me" syndrome.

I know you're busy working day and night to make sure your family is comfortable, I appreciate you for that. But that little time you have with them can make a whole difference. The love of a FATHER is what we need! Please don't deprive your children of it. Mummy is always there loving, caring, understanding and cuddling us because it's in her to do so. But when you love! Daddy it makes us feel protected, proud and secured.

A Spirit controlled family is the best family ever! So all these can be so difficult without the help of the Holy Spirit. Invite Him into your life and into your home and your family will become an example for others to follow.

Even if I am a man, I'm particular about fathers because I no longer see love coming from them. They have turned into bosses at home with their ego taking over them, yet their love no matter how little can make a whole difference.

So dear daddies, husbands and men in general.... If only you can decide to do the little things outlined here, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you will have a great family and posterity will be proud of you! I guarantee you!

Thanks for taking out time to read. I sincerely pray that it will bring the desired change.

love you!

#Relationshiptalks

by @obrisgold