What is insecurity?

Everyone feels a little unsure at times. As human beings we constantly think, and some of our thoughts can be over crowded with doubt which can lead to thoughts of insecurity. For relationships however wether plutonic or sexual there are ways we can work through these insecure thought and enjoy a more comfortable relationship or life.

What is insecurity or being insecure ?

Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy and uncertainty. It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations. Everybody deals with insecurity from time to time. It can appear in all areas of life and come from a variety of causes. It might stem from a traumatic event, patterns of previous experience, social conditioning  or local environments such as school, work, or home. 

Some common Types of Insecurity

1.Relationship insecurity 

This kind of insecurity has to do with relationships or “attachment “- this originated as result of the need to connect to people- the attachment pattern of early childhood and later to relationships in adulthood. Relationship or attachment insecurities don’t need to begin in early childhood. They can arise wherever previous experience or personal insecurity undermines someone’s security in their closest relations, also when one party of the relationship cares less compared to the other part of the relationship. Relationship insecurity can lead to depression,overthinking and lack of trust .

2.Body Image Insecurity

One of the most common source of insecurity is body image. Many people feel insecure about the way they look and question whether they measure up to an ideal body which is as result of social pressure or mockery from people around them .There is  really no necessary connection between the actual body health or appearance and body insecurity. People of all body types, color,ethnicity or background can experience this type of insecurity. Body insecurity can start from early childhood or early adulthood - this is where social media comes to play, adolescent focus more energy on what they think is the ideal appearance because of what they see on social media there by devaluing themselves and wanting to change a lot about their natural appearance.

3.Job Insecurity

Job insecurity happens when you are anxious about your continued employment.It can be triggered by anxiety over your own job performance or anxiety over factors beyond your control. High rate of unemployment in a geographical area can lead to anxiety which will in turn lead to insecurity.

Most people feel insecure due to things other people say to them daily or even what they tell theirselves when they look into the mirror,these might include 

 -you are fat 

-you are stupid 

-you don’t measure up 

-you are unattractive 

-nobody wants you 

-you will never get anything right 

-you are such a loser 

-nothing good will come to you 

-you don’t know what you are doing 

-are you sure this would work 

-you are under too much pressure just quit it’s easier 

-this is too hard you don’t have to do it just say no 

-when are you going to fix your life ?

And so on ..these are negative thoughts and words and nobody deserves to be told these or to feel this way about themselves.

SIGNS OF DEPRESSION 

Perfectionism 

This is a term used to describe the ones inability to be satisfied with progress and need to control every factor about a certain thing until they are perfectly perfect.

Most perfectionist argue and say they aren’t perfectionist,this is because they don’t realize that they are being perfectionist and when they don’t meet up their aspirations on certain projects they begin to feel inferior and insecure.

Low self-esteem 

One predominant sign of insecurity is low self-esteem, people with low self esteem usually feel like they don’t measure-up and so they often the first ones to talk theirselves down when it comes to doing things or showing up for something that might involve another person’s opinion. cause the measurement of self-esteem generally relies on self-report,People with insecurity often want to appear secure, and their explicit comments may be at odds with their automatic responses to certain stimuli.Deliberate self-misrepresentation on social media can also be a sign of social anxiety.

Self-isolation 

Social insecurity can lead people to isolate themselves to avoid human interaction. Most times these people prefer virtual interactions like online chat applications or calls.

Depression 

Depression is probably the most obvious sign of insecurity. Victims of depression usually feel insecure about everything. It should be noted that all types of insecurity can lead to mental illness and ultimately depression or death.

How to try and overcome insecurity 

1.Affirm your own values 

Take record of everything you are doing right ..take inventory of your chances and opportunities,remember the little things you have done for someone else that made them smile and encourage your self chances are you are doing more good and making more progress i life than you actually realize.

2.Take care of your needs 

Put your body, your mind, your soul and your spirit at top of your list of importance . Nourish your body make sure your mental health is safe. Make sure your body soul and mind is in perfect sync .. a lot of people would recommend yoga and exercise. Do some of that and eat good food, basically just make sure your needs are met before you consider any other person.

3.Embrace your fears and move on from them 

A wise man once said “ courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to act in the presence of fear “

This just means fear and doubt would always come because we are humans but the only way to champion our thoughts and move away from a place of insecurity is to build up courage and keep moving forward. Trust the process and trust that you are moving in the right direction.

Last but not the least 

 4.Embrace awkwardness 

There are going to be times when you fumble just try and move on from it. It would make you become comfortable in your own skin maybe slowly but surely 

If you are ever feeling insecure please say these words of affirmation to your self 

-I am great 

-I would do great things 

-I am not a failure 

-I would find everything I need 

-my life would turn out great 

-I would succeed no matter what comes my way 

-my success is certain 

-I am a child of grace 

-I am attractive 

-I am beautiful 

-I am not fat I am built big and bold 

-I am a spec 

Thank you for reading and please check up on your friends always I hope this article was helpful 

✌🏼