Hello everyone. I would like to share one very important part of my growing up where I learned to respect myself, love myself and how to face the various difficulties of life itself.
As a child entering puberty I was very shy, there were times when in conversation with someone I just looked away. I couldn’t look the person I was talking to in the eyes. Was I socially uncomfortable, just lacking confidence, not being good enough? I didn’t realize many things at the time.
Puberty itself was very difficult for me, I didn't have many friends, I would always be the child who just plays in the park, on the football field. At school I often kept quiet about various insults, provocations, belittling because I didn't want to get into conflicts and make troubles to my parents. I created a blockage in my brain that repelled all that filth that could come out of a man’s mouth. I had simply reached that level where when someone tried to hurt me on a psychological basis I just started laughing and “whatever” echoed in my head. Ignoring is sometimes the best weapon in my opinion.
People do not understand what psychological consequences such behavior can leave on a young boy. All that stops, all that psychological harassment, I guess some people come to their senses over time and realize what is wrong. I dealt with it all in some unique way. I could have physically attacked each of these young men, retaliated with the same measure of words but would I be better than him / them?Whether it was wrong or not, i don't know really.
After finishing high school, I left my country and left with the hope of a better life. After a while I got injured at work and I had to take a break, go back to where I started, after that the two worst years of my life begin. Sudden weight gain, depression, anxiety, a huge lack of self-confidence because of how I look and what I have allowed myself. I often felt lonely and that no one trusted me. I reached such a level that I could not tie normally the shoelaces on my sneakers. At 21, I felt like I was some old man. I ate to feel better? Everything that is unhealthy I put into myself. These were indescribable amounts of food. I retreated into myself and some of my world. I was feeling so desperate. One day I looked in the mirror and wondered, "Why do you need this? What made you so lost?" I broke both mentally and physically. I know I can do better, much better.
I decided to restart my life because I was just starting to live, I got rid of all the toxicity that was choking me, I turned my diet over overnight, I started training, bringing in everything that is healthy in myself, hanging out with people, spending as much time I could. There were days when I just wanted to give up but I found motivation inside myself, that something that pushed me not to give up. From 130KG I dropped to 95kg in 10 months. The pride I felt after that process is indescribable. At one point I was in an abyss at another I felt like I was on top of the world. I found a new job and things that finally fulfill me after so much time. I'm happy. I spread the positive, I laugh, I use my time in the best possible way. I realized that life is sometimes very cruel but that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I succeed.